Intro :(

colacrock · October 2013

Hi everyone. I don't want to be here either, but reading all of your stories has made me feel less alone. And I am so sorry for all of your losses. I had a surprise BFP last Monday and my husband and I were in shock for about a day because I had been on birth control and we weren't planning on another baby for awhile. Fast forward to Friday night, we were talking about baby names, how our little boys would enjoy being big brothers to a new little sibling and all of the other dreams and hopes that a husband and wife talk about when expecting a baby. I won't go into gory details, but I started to get early labor pain like cramps in my back and abdomen and then I started bleeding. I knew what was happening but I was in shock. I went and changed underwear and sat on my bed for a while. Then I called my hospital's L&D and spoke to a very sweet nurse that confirmed what I already knew was happening. She gave me the option of coming into the ER or just staying home and I chose to stay home. I am calling my Dr. today to tell him what has happened and to see when he wants to see me.

Emotionally, I'm all over the place. During the day, I hold it together and I'm strong for my little boys, I take care of them and don't let them see that mommy is hurting a lot right now. But as soon as I tuck them into bed, I sink into my own bed and cry. My husband is a great comfort during the times when I let it out and tell him all that is going through my head about our angel baby. Last night, we gave our baby a name and we both felt so much better knowing that our baby has a name. Thank you all for being here and listening, I wish that no one ever had to go through this but it's comforting to know that I'm not alone.