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January 2014 Moms
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Need to vent (long)

SandFHasseSandFHasse member
in January 2014 Moms
I wasn't going to post about this, but it is still bugging me terribly partially because DH thinks I'm overreacting.

On Saturday we had to go to BIL's house (his brother) for our nieces first birthday. One of their aunt's was there and she has always been nice to me, but this time she was just kind of rude. The first thing she did was hand me a present for DD and said "since I wasn't invited to her birthday". I didn't invite everybody because DH has a huge family and I had asked him who to invite and he said my list was good. That's not what really bugged me.

What really bugged me was after DH walked away she turned to me and said "kept the pregnancy hidden long enough" I was appalled. We told everybody when I was 5 months pregnant because that's when my insurance came through and I wanted to make sure LO had a heartbeat first. With our first pregnancy we told everybody and then I had a miscarriage. We waited to tell everyone about DD, too. I told her "well we wanted to make sure everything was ok with the baby first" she said "well its not like you weren't going to keep it either way" I didn't know what else to say. There was other family standing there and I just walked away. Maybe I am overreacting but she did hurt my feelings. It's our choice when we tell people we are pregnant.

On another note, DH wants to change LO's name and now we can't agree. I want Ayden Christopher and he wants Ryder Christopher. What do you guys think?
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Re: Need to vent (long)

  • DishyloDishylo member
    Firstly, Auntie sounds like a real witch and you have every reason to be upset.  YH should support you and your feelings but maybe he was feeling a bit sensitive as it's his family.

    Secondly - neither Ayden or Ryder are my style - 50/50.
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  • sugarland726sugarland726 member
    Wanting to keep the baby does not account for the possibility of the baby being taken from you. She was completely out of line with being upset for how long you kept it a secret.

    Regarding the names, I prefer Ryder because Ayden is not spelled correctly and that bothers me. It is also extremely popular which to me, is a turn off.

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  • DishyloDishylo member
    sugarland726 said:
    Wanting to keep the baby does not account for the possibility of the baby being taken from you. She was completely out of line with being upset for how long you kept it a secret.

    Regarding the names, I prefer Ryder because Ayden is not spelled correctly and that bothers me. It is also extremely popular which to me, is a turn off.
    Agree with Sugar, Aiden should be spelled with an "i" not a "y" - maybe that's why I didn't like it when I read your post.  Aiden spelled that way <<--- is better (and reminds me of Aiden from Sex & The City!)
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  • lolinshaglolinshag member
    If you really like this aunt, maybe write her a little note saying you are sorry she is upset with yall but you still love her. I do not think it is her place to say anything about any of that. But if she is one you really like, then i would try to mend fences a bit. Sometimes just getting a special note/card to show you r thinking of someone will placate them and smooth everything over.

    I like Aiden but would do Christopher aiden sinve it flows better in my.mind.
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  • RedSaffronRedSaffron member
    Ugh, rude family members... Im sorry you had to go through such negativity. I would have told her that since this isn't your first rodeo with pregnancy, you know what you're doing and thanks for bringing up the obvious.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • juliasmama2010juliasmama2010 member

    The aunt needs to shove it.  I hate the way people judge others decisions.  I'm living my life the way you want, go live yours as well and stop worrying about my choices!   Ugh, ok, stepping off of soap box now.

     

    Agree with PP, I like Aiden, but not Ayden (also reminds me of Sex and the City).  Ryder reminds me of Flynn Rider from Tangled so that one is NMS.  No matter how you spell it, I do like Ayden better.

    Jan '14 Siggy Challenge: Things I've had to deprive myself of while pregnant:

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    Rum & Coke...mmm!!                                              Laying on my stomach!  Can't wait!

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  • jinkybinkjinkybink member
    I come from a big family too, and I have learned that you cannot (and should not) make everyone happy. Does she think your pregnancy and child's birthday party are all about her? I typically do not say anything because it'll turn into a shouting match with people taking sides. Do what's good for you and your family. I've taken to limiting contact with those negative people.

    I like Ryder because it's less popular that Ayden.
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  • jciardi10jciardi10 member
    why do older people think they have the right to just say whatever they want sometimes? It is always an aunt, uncle, grandparent that says something you just can't believe - it is so rarely a friend, cousin, etc.  It is still hurtful and completely inappropriate.  You don't need the stress, so either say something or just let it go so you don't stress yourself and the baby.

    On name - we have two names we can't decide on as well.  Colton James or Connor James.  We have decided to wait and see his little face to decide - maybe that is a good compromise?  When your hubby sees the heroic efforts you will go through to bring him into the world, he might just let you pick!  : )
    Expecting Baby Boy Ciardi 2.1.14
    Proud big sister Caroline (10) & big brother Jack (8) anxiously awaiting his arrival!!

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