Financially - How do you all do it?

eg214 · October 2013

I'm just wondering (if any feel comfortable sharing) how you all manage financially if you are completely on your own (BD not around)? I am trying to get creative with how I can stay home with her and not work. I don't have money, don't have a REAL savings (about a months rent + utils aside), and don't have a way to get financial support from family/friends.

I'm working now on going back to school and finishing my degree next year. Student loans are not ideal, but neither is putting her in daycare FT from 6 weeks on and paying for something I really don't know how I'll afford. I'm thinking with student loans/grants, I can stay home with her much of the time AND finish my degree which will be great for us. Worst case, I could take a PT job if I had to. I'm REALLLLLY hoping this works out, but not sure it will

I'm hoping I get at least $400-$500 in child support from BD, but who knows? So many unknowns there.

Anyway, just curious if any of you SM's found a way to make it work or if you had to continue to work FT. I'm great at penny pinching and already have my bills down to their min, so that's not really an additional option I can do.

Thanks!

eg214 · October 2013

PS. Thinking nannying in my home or babysitting when I'm not in school would be the best option for me job wise. Makes her time in daycare extremely minimal, one or two days a week while I'm in class for a few hours.

babymama619 · October 2013

I'm a professional nanny so I plan to return to work and find a position that allows me to bring LO with me. I considered taking in a few kids but I would probably have to take in 3-4 to make as much as I do as a nanny and I have a relatively small town house.

Do you have much experience watching kids? I have a lot of experience and I still think it's going to be hard to find a good position. If you do end up having to work a job where you can't bring her, maybe look into a home day care? I'm in the Chicago suburbs and they run about $150 - $250/week here, so maybe that's an option.

eg214 · October 2013

I do have over 12 years experience with kids, as a nanny, teacher, and grief facilitator...so that's my fall back plan at the moment. I think with student loans/going back to school and a PT nanny job I can bring her with me to...I can make it happen. But you're right, just gotta find the right family situation where I can bring her with me AND actually make some money. Around here, it's near impossible to find a FT nanny job anyway...most all are PT. Maybe I can find an older fam who needs their kids picked up from school and after school care and then in the summer they will need me FT and I can adjust my course load. Fingers crossed. I just know there has to be a way.

pregokat · October 2013

I live in my dads house, he pays all living expenses, I work and go to school, I pay day care for 6 hr days, and my dad picks up the LO and watches him for the rest of the day (for free) I get food stamps for groceries, and just recently started getting cash assistance. its not much but it helps. I'm basically never home, because of school & work... and when i am home its homework or cleaning.

It is hard and I hate not being around my baby as much as I'd like but its worth it to work my ass off now, so I can graduate and support us in a few years. He's not going to remember this but he will be well taken care of once I have a career & can be independent.

eg214 · October 2013

Yeah I'm trying to find people who are in similar situations who don't have help at all but have found a way to make it work. I don't have the option of having parents help and stuff. I know people seem to find a way, so I'm just curious. Seems like nannying and such with her is my best option.

inthelost · October 2013

right now I live with my aunt, and my mom watches my daughter while I go to work. I also plan on starting back school again, but taking online classes next month. I have an inital meeting to set up child support on November 7th, so hopefully they will serve him papers saying I'm requesting it some time after that..not really sure how it works though, but I'm going to find out. I'm also on WIC. It's really helpful b/c I get 9 cans of formula a month and various other stuff, and I don't have a job where I have time to pump, so I have to formula feed. I would highly suggest signing up for WIC as well.

eg214 · October 2013

Thanks @inthelost. I don't qualify for any aid right now but once I quit my job and do the school thing, I will so WIC is on my list.

inthelost · October 2013

no prob! we're here to help if we can and give support!

lol Good luck to you and congrats on your baby girl! girls are precious!!

babymama619 · October 2013

I have also been saving a ton starting the moment I found out I was pregnant. I actually got fired and had no savings right at the beginning of my pregnancy. I ended up working 3 jobs and still looking for a great one. Luckily I found one at 4 months pregnant. I have taken out excess student loans too to put in savings.

Between my EDD I have 7 weeks before I have to start student teaching. That will be an additional 10 weeks without pay, for a total of 17. I have budgeted for 20. Hopefully LO will stay in until her EDD and I'll find a position that I can start as soon as I finish student teaching.

I don't receive any financial help, however I do qualify for, and use, medicaid and WIC. I think you just need to be REALLY smart with your money and have confidence that it will all work out.

20thirteen · October 2013

I only skimmed some of these answers... have you looked into subsidized child care? I only pay a co-pay and the government pays the rest. Also, www.allkidscovered.com is for health insurance for LO's.

babymama619 · October 2013

@roxalot where do you contact about the subsidized childcare? Do you have to use specific providers?

20thirteen · October 2013

For us in IL, go to https://www.dhs.state.il.us/page.aspx?item=30355

20thirteen · October 2013

I sent in an application after I visited a few places. I didn't check to see if they were included on the list, but I happened to choose a daycare that participated in the program.

eg214 · October 2013

Yes subsidized childcare is the only thing I will qualify for at my current pay rate. I don't know how much I will be asked to pay but it will certainly be better than the $1400-$1600 it would cost otherwise.

He will be ordered to put her on his insurance if he doesn't do it automatically so health insurance isn't an issue for her.

Since I don't have insurance, it's been hard to save since I am paying OOP for my maternity care. Luckily BD has paid for half the midwife fee, so I've only had to spend a little more than $2,500 so far but still...thats nearly a months pay. I have made a point to put away $100-$200 a month since I found out I was PG and have just about $1000 saved up. The problem is...one catastrophe with my car or health and that's gone

I'm def. trying to do what I can and my bills are already minimal and it's still hard. Cost of living up here is a nightmare and I'm fixin' to have my rent/utils go to double since I live with a roommate and will need a place of my own for baby and I. I looked at renting a basement and nobody will entertain the idea of a mom and baby renting their basement

Right now, my best bet is a fixed income apartment but even then...my rent and utils are obv going up because its my own place. I'm doing everything I can :-/

20thirteen · October 2013

A month's pay? Damn, I really need a new job. When DD was born, my insurance went from $65 to $340, which cut my paycheck down $200. I went from making about 1,400/mo to 1,000/mo and I'm barely scraping by...

eg214 · October 2013

LOL Well @roxalot, my salary would be less than half that if I lived in Florida. The only reason why it's so much is because the cost of living up here is out of control. $1600 for FT daycare, $1400-1800 for a 2 bedroom apartment...add that together and you can't even pay for both. So no money for food, electric, cell, car, insurance, etc. My job doesn't provide any insurance, maternity, nothing. It might sound like a lot and it's true I've never made this much, but I've never paid this much in expenses either. If I moved back to Charlotte or even Orlando, I could buy a house...let alone rent a beautiful 3br apartment for half. A decent house here is at least 400k...which makes you lucky if you can even find something for that because everything is a condo/townhouse type thing. It's great to have lots of job opportunities here but not great when your entire paycheck goes to just living.

tig594 · October 2013

Just a thought...why not get a one bedroom for now while your LO is still little?

20thirteen · October 2013

Agreed, DD sleeps in my room at my dad's house even though there is a room available for her if I need it. Which I plan to move her to when she's a little older. It's a lot easier to be in the same room when they wake up and need to be nursed/fed or changed for the first few months.

eg214 · October 2013

A one bedroom really is a last resort, as I will have to sign a 12-15 month lease. I can't imagine keeping her in the same room as me for that length of time. Plus I'm hoping to stick a twin bed in her nursery for when I have family come visit as an extra place for myself or them to sleep. I will obviously consider a one bedroom if push comes to shove, but the income limitation place I plan on going to only offers 2BR and 3BR and the 2BR is only $1100 a month which is WAY cheaper than renting a normal 1BR. I've looked into 1BR lofts and they are OUTRAGEOUS as well. I mean like I said, push comes to shove and I don't get this income limit apt, I will have to look into 1BR or in the very worst case a studio. I'm willing to do whatever I have to do, but this one income limit is really a phenomenal deal.

jjdillie · October 2013

I live in a low cost of living area so things are probably different for me. I already owned my home before LO (wasn't married to BD). Generally, I have always lived below my means. I have a pretty good job and BD just started paying CS, but I don't depend on the CS. For starters, I breastfeed and cloth diaper. Neither was chosen based on cost but it is definitely saving me lots of money. I don't eat out much - when I do, it's going out for lunch at work. I eat pretty simple meals so my grocery bill is around $50/week. Look for swap meets for baby items. I've gotten a lot of DS's clothes from a local swap meet. I bet larger cities have some great stuff but I'm in a smaller area. Have you considered working FT and going to school PT? I know you want to be with LO but if working FT is the best way to provide for the both of you, then you should consider it. There's absolutely no way I could stay at home with my DS.

tig594 · October 2013

One more suggestion...I just discovered on Facebook some local "garage sale" sites. People sell some pretty good kids stuff on there. So far, I have bought 16 kids books that are in excellent shape for $15 and 2 pairs of size 3 shoes that are like new for $6. Around here they tend to sell more kids stuff that anything else, it seems. In the near future I need to go through DD's clothes and I will post them on these sites to see if I can unload them.

babymama619 · October 2013

Oh yea @tig594 I've both everything off of Craigslist or bookoo.com. My whole nursery furniture came to $240.

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