Court and other things. . . .

Re: Court and other things. . . .

• pregokat member

  October 2013

  you aren't going to want to hear this... 

  But have you met her? do you know if she is a good or bad influence on the children? 

  It sucks to be cheated on but you have to get over those bad feelings and think about what's best for the children. If she really isn't that bad of a person other than the adultress/mistress thing then you really have to get over the emotions because holding the children from them or talking bad about them in front of the children is just going to confuse and hurt the kids in the long run.. 

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• eg214 member

  October 2013 edited October 2013

  That's very true @pregokat. My dad cheated on my mom with his secretary when I was around 12 or 13. The chaos and confusion it caused me while my mom had nothing nice to say was hard. I understand her being hurt, angry, upset, wanting him dead, etc. but getting me involved was just not a good idea. It doesn't mean you have to support it, like it, like her, like him...but making it as easy as you can for the kids will only help them in the long run. I know it will feel like you're doing him a favor, giving up, or letting him win...but trust me...if you go about this the right way...your kids will win and come out better in the end. You're not going to stop them from being together. You have to find a place within yourself where you come to terms with what has happened, can still think he's a POS, but start moving on with your life..or at least pretend to him you are. Ya know? No better way to show someone you're over them then by moving on.

  
  

  PCOS // Loss 3/2010 // Single Mom // Natural Birth // DC Metro // Baby Girl Born 2/2/2014
  

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• jokimoto member

  October 2013

  Some of the best advice I received from the ladies here was to try and disassociate my feelings for how I was treated by him from how he'll be as a father.  It's hard, but he may be the biggest jerk, but that doesn't always translate into bad a Dad.  As far as the GF goes, I don't like my ex's and she really isn't a good person, but I try to think in terms of my ex and her deserve each other and everything that goes along with that.  Nothing still brings my BP up like any talk of her and my visitation hasn't started yet, since LO isn't born, but as long as everyone comes home breathing and ok, then you'll have to let it go.  I agree that moving on will be your best "revenge" if you want to view that way.  It's hard, because in some ways I view the GF as the root of a lot of the problems, but I really don't want my ex back and he is free to live his life the way he wants in that respect, even though you can and I can see that path our Ex's are going down is not a good one, they are free now to travel it.  Focus on your new path and what's best for your kids.  As hard as it maybe that does involve sucking some of this to be strong for them.   

  BFP 9/10/12 m/c 10/26/12 BFP 2/10/13 Blighted Ovum m/c 3/12/13 

  Surprise BFP 4/15/13 Mark Anne Born 12/15/13 

  
  

  

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