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I sooooo appreciate my kids today

ambrvanambrvan member
in Blended Families
I know this is probably flame worthy. Go ahead.

The kids' cousin (6) spent the night last. I'm already in an irritable mood. He brought his PlayStation and Skylanders over.

First let me say that is NEVER going to happen again. The game I mean.

Second, this kid making me appreciate my kids so much. Cousin died in the game and it was "all SD's fault" followed by tears and him running to hide for almost an hour by himself in a corner. I left him there thinking he would get over it. I finally went to go talk to him and explain that he was wrong to act that way and that he is responsible for himself and his actions just as I hold my own kids responsible for their actions. He is a sensitive kid and I started off sensitive to that, but as soon as I entered the area, new tears started flowing and he started whining incomprehensible little mewling noises this horrible little nails on a chalk board voice.

I got up and said, "OK, when you want to act like you're six, then come find me. Until then, stay here by yourself because I don't allow that kind behavior around me," and walked off. He does that kind of crap whenever he might have to face some sort of responsibility and to avoid conflict.

Thirty more minutes went by and still nothing. So I just forced him to choose to come back and play Skylanders with SD or go play cars with DS. I refused to make a choice by the time I counted to three. So I picked him up, sat him on the couch, and put the game controller in his hand. Then I walked away.

I know I should not have rewarded his unacceptable behavior with getting his game back, but he's not my kid and I just didn't feel like dealing with him anymore. This kid needs therapy. Majorly. He also needs a major parent makeover. But that's not my job. Flame away. I don't give a crap.

This definitely was a judgemental moment of MY kids don't act like that. But of course, I couldn't forget that this is all his upbringing. This kid has the potential to be a good kid, but he has a jacked up home life. I fear the worst for him in the future. Regardless, I can't wait til he goes home today. Having him here today is ruining all my plans I had for today anyway.
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Re: I sooooo appreciate my kids today

  • ambrvanambrvan member
    About twenty minutes after I put him back in front of the game and he was tolerable again, I told them to wrap it up and go outside now that the morning had progressed and it had warmed up. Surprisingly, no protests. DS is now laying down watching a movie because he needed a nap/rest, but SD and cousin are still outside. I have the windows open and am cleaning out all the window sills. That way I have my quiet distance to be moody but can still hear and see them. I almost don't want to stop them for lunch. I think I am going to let them eat outside to keep them in a role of outdoor play and out of my hair. Lol

    My plan for today was to go to grocery shopping this morning and then work on making several freezer meals today. Soooo not going to happen. All I'm going to busy myself cleaning all the little places that usually get overlooked, like blinds and doorframes. It's amazing how much cleaner your house instantly looks when you get the grimy little hand prints off the doorframes and light switches.
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  • twister22twister22 member
    I totally have had that feeling watching my nieces and nephews. I know it's not their fault that their parented poorly, and I just accept that I can't makeover their behavior in a day. Oh so frustrating, though. The kids (B10.5, G9, B5.5, G2) have learned that I'm stricter, and behave better when I'm in charge and their parents aren't around.
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  • coopsbabycoopsbaby member
    I feel that way about my godson ALL the time. It amazes me how his mother will play into his whining and brattiness and make it worse. Step up and parent for God's sake! My dd's refuse to babysit my godson anymore because he is so manipulative and he hits and bites if you ignore him (and he's 8 1/2.) I'm pretty glad they live 4 hours away so I don't have to spend much time with him and I don't even feel bad about it.
       
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  • ambrvanambrvan member
    The rest of the day went ok. The kids stated outside until after 5 this evening. I did get told that I wasn't fun and was mean, but it was cute because SD told cousin, "She knows. She's a mom."

    I actually got some sort of weird satisfaction from that. I may be "mean" but at least my kids get it. They talk about my rules and my way of doing things affectionately (except when they are in immediate trouble), not begrudgingly.
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  • twister22twister22 member
    ambrvan said:
    The rest of the day went ok. The kids stated outside until after 5 this evening. I did get told that I wasn't fun and was mean, but it was cute because SD told cousin, "She knows. She's a mom." I actually got some sort of weird satisfaction from that. I may be "mean" but at least my kids get it. They talk about my rules and my way of doing things affectionately (except when they are in immediate trouble), not begrudgingly.
    I love your SD. A lot. Tell her she's awesome for me ;).
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  • ambrvanambrvan member
    It's things like that that make me think we're doing something right.
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