Does anybody feel like they aren't going to be trying again?

aschultz9 · September 2013

I am going to be 38 in 2 weeks. I have 3 awesome kids age 16,13 and 9. we sort of "planned" this pregnancy in that we took the "whatever happens" attitude and weren't using BC. It was a little scary but happy that I was pregnant, and the kids were excited. found there's no HB yesterday, waiting out the weekend for a D&C Monday. So weird to be wishing for cramps and bleeding. I had a MC 10 yrs ago before my 9 yo and my body did it all on it's own. I'm super angry right now that nothing is happening, and I feel like crap due to pregnancy hormones. I don't want to feel pregnant anymore. I want it over.

I'm sad, because we were nervous, but excited and I feel like this was the one chance. I feel like,now, I was being ridiculous to consider having a baby at 38 with 3 older kids. I feel like I can't ever do THIS again, and trying again isn't going to happen. with the last MC I felt hopeful with the idea of trying again. I don't have that hope this time.

alilbear · September 2013

I am so sorry for your loss, and that you have to be here. It's been a little over 4 weeks since my D&C and I'm very happy with my decision to proceed with surgery vs miso or natural. I wish you fast recovery whichever way you go.

For me, this was my first pregnancy and first miscarriage. This isn't the end of the road for my DH and I. I definitely am planning on TTC again, because I am not currently blessed to have a child of my own.

flmomof4 · September 2013

I'm sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here. I had a D&C and was very angry beforehand that my body didn't miscarry on its own. As it turned out, the surgery was easy and I'm glad it worked out that way. The recovery was easy and it was nice to just get it done and be able to start moving on.

As far as trying again, I can't wait until we can start again. We've been trying since February. While we are so blessed with our DD, we know our family isn't complete. I would caution making a decision right now. Give yourself some time and talk about things with your DH. I hope you find peace in whatever decision you make.

squeakyfrog15 · September 2013

I'm so sorry for your loss! We have decided to wait a little while, not forever as we don't have kids, but I've had two losses within four months, and I can't emotionally take it anymore. However if you change your mind I wish you luck! If not I still wish you luck and a happy future!

palukapants · October 2013

I'm so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, I know exactly how you are feeling. My husband and I have a three year old son. We just lost our baby on October 16 (d and c). I was so sick with our son as well as the second pregnancy that I don't think I can go through with this again. It kills me because more than anything I want our son to have a sibling. But the physical emotional and mental stress is more than I think I can handle for a third time. On top of that I'm 35 and I always said I wouldn't try to have a baby after I turned 35. My heart is fighting with my head now, and it is all so confusing.

Take care and best of luck with whichever decision you make.

lindahwa · October 2013

I am so sorry for your loss.

I told myself that I wanted to be pregnant before I turned 37 and I did. But I lost the baby 3 days ago. I will turn 37 in 2 weeks, I feel like the door is almost closing on me as well.

However, today is day 3. After crying non stop for 2 days until my whole body hurt, today, I feel quite optimistic. I decided that I will keep on trying until all doors are closed.

alm288 · October 2013

I'm sorry for your loss! It's a rough process to go through. I had a d&c on Wednesday as I had an incomplete miscarriage. I had a lot if bleeding and the dr didn't really ask, but highly recommended it.

This was my first pregnancy and we definitely plan to try again soon. DH and I waited to have children - wanted to finish grad school and move up the career ladder. I have to say I still look forward to having a family. We need a little time to heal but I want a baby now more than ever.

This is a really personal decision. I don't think though that because you had a miscarriage at >35 means all doors are closed. I know of a few colleagues who are 37-40 and having children (some requiring more patience than others). Best of luck and hope you recovery quickly next week!

Unknown · October 2013

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punknpie827 · October 2013

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm currently going through my 3rd. I for sure want to keep trying, but I don't think I can emotionally handle anymore, so we are taking a break until after the holidays.

Kristalina · October 2013

I'm so sorry for your loss. It can be quite defeating to loose a pregnancy. I'm still holding out hope after 2 losses in 5 months with no other children. You will choose what's best for you and your family, and I wish you the best of luck.