September 2013 Moms

Share your stupid IL stories

I enjoy reading other people's crazycake in-law stories because it makes me feel better about the stupid shizz mine do. Vent with me!

Here are mine:

1. Yesterday MIL came over to see Caleb before she leaves for vacation for the week, and she said to me, "Hey, I see you're finally getting your girlish figure back! About time!" Uh, yeah, sorry I wasn't model-skinny the moment I had a baby. I don't know, it just rubbed me the wrong way. Do people not realize that it's normal for women to still have a belly for awhile PP? I'm only ten days out from his birth!

2. We were in the hospital after Caleb was born for three nights and four days. People were really anxious to visit, which was great, but with trying to establish BFing and how little sleep we were getting, we really tried to get people to come all around the same time every evening rather than people just trickling in and out all day. For some reason my FIL and step-MIL had a problem with all of the other people visiting us. 
One evening, they came as planned while my parents and one of my close friends were there. They had a bag of food for DH that they spent a few minutes putting away in our fridge, and then they pulled out some hard cider. I kind of freaked out because, hello, this is a hospital and we aren't supposed to have alcohol in our room... anyway, despite my protests they insisted on pouring some for DH and making him drink it. I was terrified we'd get in trouble. Then, less than ten minutes after they arrived, they both left. I figured they were going on a walk or grabbing something from the car, as they had been texting all day how excited they were to see Caleb and they hadn't even held him yet. After about 20 minutes, my H gets a text from his dad saying they'll come visit tomorrow... I took his phone and texted back that we didn't realize they were leaving (they didn't even say goodbye), and he texted back (obviously unaware that I would see it) that they felt uncomfortable because no one said hi to them and (I quote), "It's hard for us to want to stay when Hanna's mom doesn't make us feel welcome. We'll wait until we can visit in peace." WTF?? I was beyond pissed, and at that point my friend had left so it was just us and my parents. I burst into tears and showed DH the text, and he got really embarrassed and apologized for their weird behavior. I still have no idea how it was at all my mom's fault for them feeling weird... especially since they hardly entered the room. How is it her responsibility to "make them feel welcome"? Grow up, FFS. And I know I said hi to them, and so did DH and my dad... IDK if my mom or friend did, since they were holding the baby. What do they expect with a room full of chattering people cooing at a brand new baby? I still feel like it's extremely selfish and immature of them to get their panties in a twist for feeling "unwelcome" and for not getting their own special alone time with our baby the day after he's born. Ugh, it still pisses me off just thinking about it.

Wow, that was way longer than I expected. Thanks for letting me vent. :P Tell me your stories so I can be properly horrified!
Married: 8.5.12
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Re: Share your stupid IL stories

  • I don't have any right now but at your #2-ew. Your fil and smil are just ew.
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  • We were staying with my ILs and I asked MIL if she wanted to watch the baby while I pumped and got dressed. She said sure, to take all the time I needed. And then she said, "Go have more sex if you want to! I'm ready for the next one".
    :-O Um, first, EW. Second, can we just enjoy this one for now?
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  • @HBirdie, I want to throat punch your MIL! 

    I've been actively avoiding my ILs for the last week, so right now, I've got nothing.  
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  • Kristonita12Kristonita12 member
    edited October 2013
    @HBirdie seriously, your #2- my exact situation. EXACT, just change the text to email. Oh and she also added that my mom was too excited about the baby and that I should stop seeing my mom so much. She finished by saying "don't forget your brother divorced his last wife because she saw so much of her family!" What the actual fuck. When she visited today, she kept trying to wake our baby and saying "don't forget, Kriston, she can't sleep during the day or else she won't sleep at night.," I almost killed her. She also kept mentioning that she was sad to leave her dog while visiting (we told her not to bring him again bc he kept jumping at the baby and licking her head.) And finally, when LO was totally inconsolable this afternoon, she kept holding her even when I asked for her back and then said "no, she needs her grandma. Or maybe her daddy? She's such a daddy's girl." And then proceeded to say the words "daddy's girl" over and over in increasingly dumb voices. Eventually I just snatched her up and she immediately calmed down and went to sleep in my arms. Ugh!! Edited bc I hit enter way too early.
  • @HBirdie seriously, your #2- my exact situation. EXACT, just change the text to email. Oh and she also added that my mom was too excited about the baby and that I should stop seeing my mom so much. She finished by saying "don't forget your brother divorced his last wife because she saw so much of her family!" What the actual fuck. When she visited today, she kept trying to wake our baby and saying "don't forget, Kriston, she can't sleep during the day or else she won't sleep at night.," I almost killed her. She also kept mentioning that she was sad to leave her dog while visiting (we told her not to bring him again bc he kept jumping at the baby and licking her head.) And finally, when LO was totally inconsolable this afternoon, she kept holding her even when I asked for her back and then said "no, she needs her grandma. Or maybe her daddy? She's such a daddy's girl." And then proceeded to say the words "daddy's girl" over and over in increasingly dumb voices. Eventually I just snatched her up and she immediately calmed down and went to sleep in my arms. Ugh!! Edited bc I hit enter way too early.
    So you know how I feel! Ugh, your whole post is awful. I think my SMIL also thinks my parents see LO too much, and she's jealous. My mom was in the delivery room the whole time and got to be in the OR for my c-section, and I know she didn't like that, but too damn bad. She's my mom, I needed her. That doesn't make you less of a grandma! The whole thing is so childish and ridiculous.
    Married: 8.5.12
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  • We were staying with my ILs and I asked MIL if she wanted to watch the baby while I pumped and got dressed. She said sure, to take all the time I needed. And then she said, "Go have more sex if you want to! I'm ready for the next one".
    :-O Um, first, EW. Second, can we just enjoy this one for now?

    X_X

    I can't even...
    Married: 8.5.12
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  • @imakeeff0rts My mom does the thing with the jokes.

    Jamie


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  • Oh! I forgot one! My step-MIL has started making snide comments to/about me THROUGH MY SON. I'm really not cool with this. I can't remember if I already shared on here, but we were team green and had been given lots of girl clothes as hand-me-downs (from friends and from my mom, who had saved all of my clothes). She brought over a bag of boy onesies from Value Village and was holding Caleb and kept saying (in a baby voice), "We can't let your mom dress you in girl clothes, now can we?" Uhh, when did I ever say or imply that I was going to dress him in "girl clothes"? You think I'm going to put my old pink frilly dresses on him, really? Talk to me, don't be passive aggressive through my son. Not cool. 
    She has also said stuff like, "We're going to be best friends and you're going to come to my house and play all the time because I'm your favorite grandma" and (when he was wearing a onesie that said "Team Grandpa"), "Now don't forget you have more than one grandpa, okay? All of your grandpas love you equally." Ugh. This grandparent competition thing has GOT to stop. Especially since she's the only one playing the game.
    Married: 8.5.12
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  • Well besides my MILmcomplaining that I took way to long to actually have the baby, because you know I had complete control over how long my labor was, I didn't realize that 12 hours was all that long. And complaining when we wouldn't let her and my FIL the room while I was pushing, or while I was being stitched up (which I've already mentioned on here).
    The latest...DS is wearing DH's Christening suit. I called and asked my MIL if he could wear it, she was so happy I asked, until I mentioned that my mom is pulling out one of my blankets that was knitted by my great grandmother before I was born for DS to use. She flipped out, saying she already bought him a blanket at Walmart and wants him to use that. Wait, instead of a blanket that has sentimental meaning to me, my mom, and my grandmother, you want him to use a blanket you bought at Walmart, but it's ok that he wears the Christening suit from your side? I said thanks but no thank you. DH was so pissed at her.
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  • Each night when my ILs visit we go for a walk. We have three big dogs so my DH, myself and my MIL take a dog and my FIL gets the stroller. I have told him time and time again to stay on the sidewalk. Yes, I know we live in a quiet neighborhood, yes I know it is a quiet time of the day but that is my child and do as I say. End. Of. Story. (I told him this face to face)
    I shit you not on the walk this evening he spent at least 15% of the walk on the street. Not just on the street but in the middle. And twice he stopped in the middle of the street to check on LO. Wtf.
    Young teenagers come barreling around the corner and he'd be done for.
    I stayed calm and simply told my DH when we got back that I would be Baby Bjorning our walks from now on.

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  • I feel like this post was made for me :). My ILs are always interfering and finding some way to be disrespectful. They would never come to visit us before the baby came, and now they want to visit EVERY.SINGLE.WEEK. They have attempted to come over when they are sick and have been around sick people (staying at their house). They invite other people to our house and don't ask if its ok. My SIL (who is a waste of fresh air) came over and rooted through my cabinets without asking and then left the mess for us to clean up. Most irritating of all is when MIL let our niece hold the baby even though we told her that we do not want kids holding our son until he has his two month shots. Grr. I wasn't even there to stop it and my H didn't see the big deal about it. I could go on and on about this.
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  • HBirdie said:

    Oh! I forgot one! My step-MIL has started making snide comments to/about me THROUGH MY SON. I'm really not cool with this. I can't remember if I already shared on here, but we were team green and had been given lots of girl clothes as hand-me-downs (from friends and from my mom, who had saved all of my clothes). She brought over a bag of boy onesies from Value Village and was holding Caleb and kept saying (in a baby voice), "We can't let your mom dress you in girl clothes, now can we?" Uhh, when did I ever say or imply that I was going to dress him in "girl clothes"? You think I'm going to put my old pink frilly dresses on him, really? Talk to me, don't be passive aggressive through my son. Not cool. 

    She has also said stuff like, "We're going to be best friends and you're going to come to my house and play all the time because I'm your favorite grandma" and (when he was wearing a onesie that said "Team Grandpa"), "Now don't forget you have more than one grandpa, okay? All of your grandpas love you equally." Ugh. This grandparent competition thing has GOT to stop. Especially since she's the only one playing the game.

    My MIL does that too. She will say things to the baby that are actually directed at me. The main thing she keeps repeating is "it sure is going to be a long one before Granny gets to watch you alone!" Yeah. It is. I EBF and he gets really fussy at night. I never let her get away with saying that I always come back with "no probably not. I'm not ready to leave him with anyone and he gets really sad and needs me in the evenings." She usually doesn't respond to me. She also always says that she wants us to live close to her so when DS gets mad at me then he can run over and escape to his grandmas house. Seriously?! Even if he did get mad at me, I wouldn't let him storm away to grandmas house to get rewarded.
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  • @HBirdie seriously, your #2- my exact situation. EXACT, just change the text to email. Oh and she also added that my mom was too excited about the baby and that I should stop seeing my mom so much. She finished by saying "don't forget your brother divorced his last wife because she saw so much of her family!" What the actual fuck. When she visited today, she kept trying to wake our baby and saying "don't forget, Kriston, she can't sleep during the day or else she won't sleep at night.," I almost killed her. She also kept mentioning that she was sad to leave her dog while visiting (we told her not to bring him again bc he kept jumping at the baby and licking her head.) And finally, when LO was totally inconsolable this afternoon, she kept holding her even when I asked for her back and then said "no, she needs her grandma. Or maybe her daddy? She's such a daddy's girl." And then proceeded to say the words "daddy's girl" over and over in increasingly dumb voices. Eventually I just snatched her up and she immediately calmed down and went to sleep in my arms. Ugh!! Edited bc I hit enter way too early.
    Totally unacceptable!  This has become my number one pet peeve since LO was born - you don't get to refuse a parent their child.  Ever. Ever, ever.  I hate it.

    There's no way I would have time to type all the obnoxious things my ILs and, sadly, own parents do.  I will say that yesterday, after World's Most Awkward Lunch with all 4 of them, DH and I literally made a video to ourselves when we become grandparents reminding us how not to act.
  • Oh! I forgot one! My step-MIL has started making snide comments to/about me THROUGH MY SON. I'm really not cool with this. I can't remember if I already shared on here, but we were team green and had been given lots of girl clothes as hand-me-downs (from friends and from my mom, who had saved all of my clothes). She brought over a bag of boy onesies from Value Village and was holding Caleb and kept saying (in a baby voice), "We can't let your mom dress you in girl clothes, now can we?" Uhh, when did I ever say or imply that I was going to dress him in "girl clothes"? You think I'm going to put my old pink frilly dresses on him, really? Talk to me, don't be passive aggressive through my son. Not cool. 
    She has also said stuff like, "We're going to be best friends and you're going to come to my house and play all the time because I'm your favorite grandma" and (when he was wearing a onesie that said "Team Grandpa"), "Now don't forget you have more than one grandpa, okay? All of your grandpas love you equally." Ugh. This grandparent competition thing has GOT to stop. Especially since she's the only one playing the game.
    Ugh my MIL said the same thing about not forgetting that baby has two sets of grandparents. She also thinks we should pay for daycare instead of using my mom..the whole reason we moved was because I had a job offer here and my mom offered to provide day care so no, I won't be paying outrageous amounts just because you're jealous of my mom seeing the baby more. Have I mentioned that my MIL doesn't even attempt to see the baby very often? She's so excited" and very obviously jealous, but doesn't make good on her talking about visiting very much. Basically, she doesn't want to have to spend time with us more but she wants us to stop seeing my parents often so she doesn't feel so shitty about not seeing us.
  • My in-laws always want everyone to come to them, and to be honest, we're not taking our baby to their house. It's dusty, dirty, and smells like dogs. They haven't seen her since she was born, and that is perfectly fine with us, as we don't have the best relationship with them.

    Well, last night we went bowling and psycho FIL started blowing up DH's phone. Her finally answered and they decided that they wanted to stop by. DH told him we weren't home because we were out bowling, and immediate attitude started. MIL was in the background saying "The baby can't bowl! Why are they out?" and FIL was saying that we should be home resting, not out with a newborn.

    She's 3 weeks old and we go out frequently, besides it really isn't their business where we go or what we do. So basically DH got scolded and hung up on for not being home.

    Guess who isn't going to be home the next time they randomly call?
  • I will go ahead and admit my in laws aren't near as bad as many of yours, but my MIL gets on my nerves on a weekly basis. She keeps inviting herself over and its already getting old. She is off work every other Wednesday and apparently she thinks she is supposed to come over to see me and DD every time she's off. I am not going to let her get into that routine.
    In addition to trying to visit on Wednesdays, both of them have been over every other weekend since DD's birth. Which really isn't too bad I guess- better than every weekend! Well my parents were here this weekend so I guess they think next weekend is their turn. MIL couldn't wait a few days to see if we would invite them to come- she had to go ahead and ask today if they could come on Saturday. I know it doesn't seem that bad, it just annoys me that she can't give us the chance to invite them before she invites herself!
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  • HBirdieHBirdie member
    edited October 2013
    My in-laws always want everyone to come to them, and to be honest, we're not taking our baby to their house. It's dusty, dirty, and smells like dogs. They haven't seen her since she was born, and that is perfectly fine with us, as we don't have the best relationship with them. Well, last night we went bowling and psycho FIL started blowing up DH's phone. Her finally answered and they decided that they wanted to stop by. DH told him we weren't home because we were out bowling, and immediate attitude started. MIL was in the background saying "The baby can't bowl! Why are they out?" and FIL was saying that we should be home resting, not out with a newborn. She's 3 weeks old and we go out frequently, besides it really isn't their business where we go or what we do. So basically DH got scolded and hung up on for not being home. Guess who isn't going to be home the next time they randomly call?
    OMG, insane. Too far. I'd be avoiding them like the plague, too. Just ew.


    Bamgal25 said:
    I will go ahead and admit my in laws aren't near as bad as many of yours, but my MIL gets on my nerves on a weekly basis. She keeps inviting herself over and its already getting old. She is off work every other Wednesday and apparently she thinks she is supposed to come over to see me and DD every time she's off. I am not going to let her get into that routine. In addition to trying to visit on Wednesdays, both of them have been over every other weekend since DD's birth. Which really isn't too bad I guess- better than every weekend! Well my parents were here this weekend so I guess they think next weekend is their turn. MIL couldn't wait a few days to see if we would invite them to come- she had to go ahead and ask today if they could come on Saturday. I know it doesn't seem that bad, it just annoys me that she can't give us the chance to invite them before she invites herself!
    I totally know what you mean! I have two sets of in-laws and they both invite themselves over, too. Super annoying. I'm being nice about it right now because he's so new, but I'm putting my foot down if it keeps happening. They also both have the bad habit of not being specific about when they're coming, which I need to know so that I can make sure I don't have my boob out when they arrive. It annoys me that they don't understand how important it is that I know exactly when they're coming and that they stick to that time. I can have the baby happy and ready to see you if you just show up when you say you will! Don't get mad at me when he's screaming and doesn't want to be held by anyone because YOU showed up 45 minutes late.

    Edit: typo
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  • These stories make me cringe. My mil has gotten better with the crazy comments, but I still get unwanted advice at times. She is watching DD when I go back to work next week and she is very excited. I just hope it continues the way it has been
  • HBirdie said:


    I totally know what you mean! I have two sets of in-laws and they both invite themselves over, too. Super annoying. I'm being nice about it right now because he's so new, but I'm putting my foot down if it keeps happening. They also both have the bad habit of not being specific about when they're coming, which I need to know so that I can make sure I don't have my boob out when they arrive. It annoys me that they don't understand how important it is that I know exactly when they're coming and that they stick to that time. I can have the baby happy and ready to see you if you just show up when you say you will! Don't get mad at me when he's screaming and doesn't want to be held by anyone because YOU showed up 45 minutes late.

    Edit: typo


    @HBirdie. I think I messed up the quote... but I know what you mean about times. I do give my in laws a time to arrive and they usually show up about ten minutes before which is still annoying. Also we dont establish a leaving time which is no good either because I need to know when I can expect them to leave. Four or five hours at a time is about all I can take!
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  • Today, I was working on DD's shutterfly book. I was including ultrasound pics, gender revels party pics, hospital pics, etc. MIL asks if she can look at what I'm doing. I agree against my better judgment. She then asked, "Are there not any pics of us ( meaning DH's family) at the gender reveal party?" I told her that there were plenty of other pics of them on other pages in the book. I am sooo over the "grandparent competition" that she thinks is happening but really isn't! She also told me that I was doing the book incorrectly several times and made suggestions of what might look better UNLESS I "just want it to look that way!" Grrrr... Next time, my reply will be, "no, you cannot look at what I am doing but thanks for asking!"
  • I can relate to the whole inviting themselves over thing. I work with by FIL and every time I see him he tells me how annoying it is that people ask him about me and the baby. Sorry we are cared about. He told md the last time they forced themselves into our house the same thing and followed up with I tell people I guess you're doing ok. I only see you once a week. We are trying to give you space so we don't intrude. Um...you have intruded every single time you come over uninvited (which is every time)
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  • BriR924 said:
    Today, I was working on DD's shutterfly book. I was including ultrasound pics, gender revels party pics, hospital pics, etc. MIL asks if she can look at what I'm doing. I agree against my better judgment. She then asked, "Are there not any pics of us ( meaning DH's family) at the gender reveal party?" I told her that there were plenty of other pics of them on other pages in the book. I am sooo over the "grandparent competition" that she thinks is happening but really isn't! She also told me that I was doing the book incorrectly several times and made suggestions of what might look better UNLESS I "just want it to look that way!" Grrrr... Next time, my reply will be, "no, you cannot look at what I am doing but thanks for asking!"
    oh gosh, so annoying and relatable. My MIL and FIL sent two very exhaustive emails about how upset they were that my dad and mom were in all of the pictures at the baby shower that my in-laws gave me. I thought we had a great time and it turns out, they were fuming because my parents dared to sit at the same table as me when we ate some mini sandwiches. Not only is that stupid, but MIL TOOK THE PICTURES. So.. wouldn't she try to get some without them in it if that's what she wanted? SHe also left the shower my mom and God mom gave me after 20 minutes because she "didn't feel welcome" and felt like my mom "touched my belly too much." What. Ever. 
  • My MIL came over yesterday and kept saying hoe DS was smiling at her. Yes, he hasn't smiled yet, but he'd choose to smile at you first. I kept telling her it was gas. WTF I'm exhausted and tired from EBF and you want to act like he smiled at you?! She sees him like every couple of weeks, he has no idea who she even is right now!
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  • Unfortunately it's my parents that are the crazy ones. Although ILs are just very clingy.I feel llike they are the only people I see besides DH. My mom always says we choose his family first and I rarely hear from either parents. They want us to always cometo them. My mom throughout my whole pregnancy always made comments about how big I was and generally just made inappropriate comments about how I looked. 2 weeks after DH was born. All of the swelling had finally went down I'd lost all but 9lbs and was generally feeling pretty good about myself considering. My mom had the nerve to say I only looked about 4-5 months pregnant now. She makes me mad. I wish ILs would back off a little and my parents would step up a little.
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  • My MIL came over yesterday and kept saying hoe DS was smiling at her. Yes, he hasn't smiled yet, but he'd choose to smile at you first. I kept telling her it was gas. WTF I'm exhausted and tired from EBF and you want to act like he smiled at you?! She sees him like every couple of weeks, he has no idea who she even is right now!
    Ugh, so annoying!! My SMIL has said this a few times too. He's less than two weeks old! He isn't smiling AT anyone right now. She is also convinced that he recognizes her and tracks her with his eyes.. yeah, you've spent MAYBE an hour around him, total? I don't think he knows who you are...
    Married: 8.5.12
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