Desperate for advice....

MeraniLenei · October 2013

I haven't posted much on here, but I've been around since I was about 10 weeks pregnant, commenting once in awhile, but mostly just taking things in.

But I am totally desperate for advice now. My baby was a pretty decent sleeper when he was about 2-4 months old... sleeping through the night a few times a week and waking usually only once the other nights. Around 4 months things started going "downhill," he started waking a little more, but it was still totally bearable. But the last month has been absolutely awful. He wakes up just about every 90 minutes, which seems to be the end of a second sleep cycle. He won't even let me rock him back to sleep the way he used to. He just screams and screams until I nurse him. But I know he's not hungry because he falls back asleep within a minute or two. I am finally weaning him off of the swaddle, but he has been doing this since before I started weaning him so I'm starting to think it has no effect on him. His pediatrician wants me to start Zantac with him to see if it's his stomach that's bothering him, but I don't really want him taking medicine unless he really needs it. I've "tried" CIO... I say "tried" because I can't even make it past 2 minutes without going in to him because it upsets me so much. I just don't know what to do anymore. I know a lot of you are also having sleep troubles, but I'm just hoping for some advice. I'm surviving on about 4-5 hours a sleep a night for the past month and I don't know how much longer I can do this....

KellyM10 · October 2013

We have this problem too. I think its related to teething rather than stomach issues though. No real advice except that it will get better eventually. And in the mean time, you're not alone.

+RBL+ · October 2013

If you nurse him, try sending your SO in to calm LO. DS will scream his head off if I just try to soothe him in the middle of the night, I think it's because he knows I can/will nurse him. But he doesn't give H nearly the trouble that he gives me.

love4b · October 2013

I'm not sure if you've looked into it already, but I've heard good things about the Merlin Magic Sleep Suit as a way to transition out of swaddling. Good luck.

JSS1002 · October 2013

Honestly, I would try the zantac. It is a fairly mild and easy medicine - it doesn't prevent reflux from happening, just keeps it from hurting, like a tums vs. a prilosec. You'll know almost immediately if it works, so if it doesn't, you can stop using it soon (and if it does, you have a happier baby).

MeraniLenei · October 2013

Thank you guys for the advice. I got the Zantac today and already gave him the first dose. Hoping for the best! If not, I hope I'm not creating a monster by tending to him all night long. I just can't let him cry.

Kmape36 · October 2013

I've heard good things about the sleep suit too. Just my opinion but sounds like he is over tired. Might be time to consider sleep training. There are some methods that don't require CIO. For us, CIO worked. It was hard, horrible and heartbreaking but my baby sleeps better, wakes happy and can put herself to sleep. It's impacted all her sleep for the better...nighttime and naps. If you try it, I highly recommend a video monitor. You can turn the sound down but still watch baby and know they are ok. With my oldest I had to go outside and then my husband would come get me when the crying stopped. Was easier with DD2 because I knew the benefits were well worth it.

jss1482 · October 2013

The sleep suit is awesome, had a great experience with it

MeraniLenei · October 2013

Kmape36 said:

I've heard good things about the sleep suit too. Just my opinion but sounds like he is over tired. Might be time to consider sleep training. There are some methods that don't require CIO. For us, CIO worked. It was hard, horrible and heartbreaking but my baby sleeps better, wakes happy and can put herself to sleep. It's impacted all her sleep for the better...nighttime and naps. If you try it, I highly recommend a video monitor. You can turn the sound down but still watch baby and know they are ok. With my oldest I had to go outside and then my husband would come get me when the crying stopped. Was easier with DD2 because I knew the benefits were well worth it.

Would you mind explaining how you did CIO? How long you had to do it before it worked? I let him cry for 8 minutes tonight before I broke down....

MeraniLenei · October 2013

jss1482 said:

The sleep suit is awesome, had a great experience with it

Did you have a similar experience as I am having?

arschm02 · October 2013

Sorry this us so long! CIO for us took 2 days. First night was awful (way more for me than him I'm sure). 45 min of on and off crying. I sat in bed watching him on the monitor with my heart aching as DH assured me he is okay, and he'll figure it out, and it will get better. That night he woke up his normal every 1.5 to 2 hours. I would go to his room, pet his head, replace his nuk and leave. He cried for around 5 minutes those times. The next night at bed time it was just under 10 minutes and he woke up once!!! I replaced his nuk and he fell right back to sleep. Night 3 there were hardly any tears and no waking. This has been pretty consistent since we've done this. It's rare that he cries when I put him to bed. When he wakes in MOTN he will usually talk and kick his legs a bit, but then falls right back to sleep. Although it was truly heartbreaking at the time it was truly the best thing I could have done for him. I feel like I gave him the gift to self soothe. He is so much happier when he wakes and I love going into his room to take a cooing baby out of the crib rather than a screaming one. Not to mention I regained my sanity. I know it doesn't work well for some infants, but I knew that when LO would just cry harder when we would try to get him back to sleep in the MOTN that something needed to change. What we were doing was not working for any of us. Best of luck on whatever you choose to do.

JSS1002 · October 2013

My friend had to check into a hotel and let her husband deal with CIO. Hahahaha. Maybe that would work for you???

MeraniLenei · October 2013

arschm02 said:

Sorry this us so long! CIO for us took 2 days. First night was awful (way more for me than him I'm sure). 45 min of on and off crying. I sat in bed watching him on the monitor with my heart aching as DH assured me he is okay, and he'll figure it out, and it will get better. That night he woke up his normal every 1.5 to 2 hours. I would go to his room, pet his head, replace his nuk and leave. He cried for around 5 minutes those times. The next night at bed time it was just under 10 minutes and he woke up once!!! I replaced his nuk and he fell right back to sleep. Night 3 there were hardly any tears and no waking. This has been pretty consistent since we've done this. It's rare that he cries when I put him to bed. When he wakes in MOTN he will usually talk and kick his legs a bit, but then falls right back to sleep. Although it was truly heartbreaking at the time it was truly the best thing I could have done for him. I feel like I gave him the gift to self soothe. He is so much happier when he wakes and I love going into his room to take a cooing baby out of the crib rather than a screaming one. Not to mention I regained my sanity. I know it doesn't work well for some infants, but I knew that when LO would just cry harder when we would try to get him back to sleep in the MOTN that something needed to change. What we were doing was not working for any of us. Best of luck on whatever you choose to do.

Thank you for explaining all of this! Did you do this for his naps too? I finally gave in today and tried it for his nap. He cried for 25 min on and off and then went to sleep. But I already have anxiety about his next nap and tonight too.

MeraniLenei · October 2013

JSS1002 said:

My friend had to check into a hotel and let her husband deal with CIO. Hahahaha. Maybe that would work for you???

sounds like a great idea! I actually put on headphones and watched him on the monitor... while crying. LOL

arschm02 · October 2013

Yes we did it for both. I didn't want to confuse him more by only doing it at nap or night time. Congrats! 25 minutes probably felt like forever but that's not too bad!

MeraniLenei · October 2013

arschm02 said:

Yes we did it for both. I didn't want to confuse him more by only doing it at nap or night time. Congrats! 25 minutes probably felt like forever but that's not too bad!

Yes! 25 was rough. His second nap was only 6. Bedtime was 2!!!! But then he woke up after 40 minutes, as usual, and cried for about 20 minutes. That was also really rough. I'm really nervous about the rest of the night. Unfortunately, I think it's worse for me to go in because when he sees me he gets more upset and puts his arms up for me to pick him up. We'll see if I can actually do this all night.

Kmape36 · October 2013

MeraniLenei said:

arschm02 said:

Yes we did it for both. I didn't want to confuse him more by only doing it at nap or night time. Congrats! 25 minutes probably felt like forever but that's not too bad!

Yes! 25 was rough. His second nap was only 6. Bedtime was 2!!!! But then he woke up after 40 minutes, as usual, and cried for about 20 minutes. That was also really rough. I'm really nervous about the rest of the night. Unfortunately, I think it's worse for me to go in because when he sees me he gets more upset and puts his arms up for me to pick him up. We'll see if I can actually do this all night.

You go momma! It's so hard but like PP said, It will be so worth it. And I am like you...a lot of sleep training methods tell you to go in and soothe but these never worked for us. My DD got more upset and it was like I was starting over. Keep it up and don't be surprised if even after you have a few good nights, baby seemed to regress a little. This happened to us but we just kept up the routine and she got through it.

arschm02 · October 2013

Yay! Keep us updated!

MeraniLenei · October 2013

Kmape36 said:

MeraniLenei said:

arschm02 said:

Yes we did it for both. I didn't want to confuse him more by only doing it at nap or night time. Congrats! 25 minutes probably felt like forever but that's not too bad!

Yes! 25 was rough. His second nap was only 6. Bedtime was 2!!!! But then he woke up after 40 minutes, as usual, and cried for about 20 minutes. That was also really rough. I'm really nervous about the rest of the night. Unfortunately, I think it's worse for me to go in because when he sees me he gets more upset and puts his arms up for me to pick him up. We'll see if I can actually do this all night.

You go momma! It's so hard but like PP said, It will be so worth it. And I am like you...a lot of sleep training methods tell you to go in and soothe but these never worked for us. My DD got more upset and it was like I was starting over. Keep it up and don't be surprised if even after you have a few good nights, baby seemed to regress a little. This happened to us but we just kept up the routine and she got through it.

So last night wasn't too bad. He cried for 3 minutes and went to sleep. He woke up a little while later, cried for twenty minutes and went back to sleep. About 5 hours later he woke up and I went to him because I knew he would be hungry. In total he slept almost 14 hours last night! My concern now is that he cries as soon as he sees his crib. My husband said that when he put him down for his nap today he was clinging to him. I'm so scared that he's now associating his crib with being alone and scared. I'm starting to feel like this isn't a good idea. Did this happen for all of you too?

danuli8 · October 2013

It sounds like you are making progress--congratulations! Are you putting him down in the crib right when you go in the room? We spend a few minutes in the room first (darken room, diaper change, change into sleep suit, turn on white noise machine, rock for a few minutes) before putting him down.

Also, do have a small lovey in the crib? I wore a little bunny (in my siggy pic) in my bra all day to "charge" it and then put it in the crib for him to hold, sniff, chew on, etc. and it gives him something nice to do as he's falling asleep.

I also agree with a previous poster's suggestion to send your DH in to comfort him if he hasn't slept long enough to need a feeding. That worked for us too.

Smartie26 · October 2013

You must join the WIO group on fb! (Work it out). You will get oodles & oodles of support there from about 1000 other mamas going through the same thing!

Smartie26 · October 2013

(They do not believe in CIO but respect others who do).

MeraniLenei · October 2013

Thank you all so much for the moral support! I really hope I'm not ginxing myself here, but I think it's going really well. He hasn't made it very difficult the past few days, only cries for a few minutes. Tonight he whined for about 30 seconds and that was it.... I know anything can change, but it certainly seems like he has learned to put himself to sleep. Fingers crossed that it lasts! Thank you again everyone!

arschm02 · October 2013

Yay! I'm so happy to hear you are on your way to more restful nights

MeraniLenei · October 2013

I may have spoken a little too soon.... LOL... we'll see how the rest of the night goes now.

MeraniLenei · October 2013

Smartie26 said:

You must join the WIO group on fb! (Work it out). You will get oodles & oodles of support there from about 1000 other mamas going through the same thing!

I'm having trouble finding it. Any suggestions? I keep typing it into the search bar but it's not pulling anything up.

megandscott07 · October 2013

I had a similar experience at 3 months, DS flipped the switch from day 1 in Merlin's magic sleep suit and now sleeps 8+ hours straight. One caution however is weaning him from it. Everytime I try, he flips out after only 20 min so he's still sleeping in it at 6 mos old. I might even have to buy the bigger size :-/

BellaBean76 · October 2013

MeraniLenei said:

I may have spoken a little too soon.... LOL... we'll see how the rest of the night goes now.

Don't be discouraged. When we did CIO we had a few setbacks early on. Stick with it and it will work again soon!! If not tonight than in the next few days for sure

Smartie26 · October 2013

Try searching "The wait it out method"

. If not, message me (Jayne Yuok) and I'll add youto th group.

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