Does how I give birth have to do with my age?

lolasmit · October 2013

I am not sure if this is a silly question. My friend who is around my age, in our early 20's, just gave birth to her baby and she was in labor for 27 hours. She also ended up getting an epi and a c-section. This was also her first baby.

From what I have read on this board I need to be prepared by reading, watching videos, and research on how to control my breathing, etc for an unmedicated birth. And the birth classes are very important. BUT, having her tell me that was her labor it kind of "shook" me a little to the possibility that maybe it isn't mind over matter?

I am glad I can come here and ask these questions. I have not asked my midwife about this because my appointment isn't until November 2nd, so I am waiting until then to ask my questions.

So, what do you guys think? Should the fact that her birth was like that freak me out about my own birth? (though isn't every birth different?)

sschwege · October 2013

I don't think age would be a factor, I mean as long as we aren't talking a 14 year old here that isn't fully developed, it shouldn't affect anything.

I know it's hard, but you just have to try to put it out of your mind, that was her experience, which is totally separate from your own! As best you can surround yourself with positive stories. Ina May has a book called, "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth". The first half of the book is the most beautiful, inspirational, stories. Maybe you could try reading something like that to sort of fill your head with positive images. I will warn you, it is sort of crunchy granola, but still a great read IMO.

ncbelle · October 2013

I'm not seeing where her age matters. Obviously we don't know the specifics of her labor but 27 hours isn't a crazy labor - it happens - and women still deliver naturally with long labors.

nosoup4u · October 2013

I think the only time that age is a factor is when you're under 20 - cant' remember where I read that as a stat, and someone correct me if I'm wrong.

Provider, hospital and even what region you're in have a lot more to do with a successful vaginal birth. Then again, I went to a MW group that had a 12% c-section rate, and still ended up with a c-section that probably could have been prevented (I got stuck in the hospital in early labor, etc. etc.).

Unless you guys have more things in common than age, I wouldn't worry about her birth in comparison with yours.

wintersong · October 2013

I agree with the other posters--even two births from the same woman are not the same. (Try to fill your mind with positive birth stories as well as the ones that don't go as planned.)

oliversmommy32912 · October 2013

I was 24 when I had my son. I had a 4 hour labor.

My step sister was 18 when she had her son. She was only about 120 pounds when she had her 8 pound baby. She had a six hour labor. I think it has less to do with age and size and more to do with genetics.

KateLouise · October 2013

I have lots of friends who have given birth in the last 3 - 4 years, and there has been the whole range of experiences (sometimes from the same woman)

It can rattle you to hear birth stories that aren't what you hope for yourself, but try to focus on the positives, and doing what you can do.

Best wishes.

babyLOLO13 · October 2013

Everyone is going to have a horror story or an opinion. Especially if your going natural for some reason people tend to want to laugh that off immediately and tell you " don't make a plan" blah blah. Age has nothing to do it self determination to go med-free if that's your wish. Surround yourself with positive birth stories and successful med-free births otherwise its far too easy to get wrapped up in the negative.

aylafsu88 · October 2013

Every labor is different and their is no way to gauge how yours will go. I know that the provider, how prepared you are, position of the baby, and your health can effect your labor. I was 30 when I had my LO. I had an 11 hour labor that was intense but over fairly quickly. I know it is hard but try not to worry about how long it could be or what could happen. Stay positive and read positive birth stories! You can do it!

lolasmit · October 2013

Thank you. I really appreciate all the responses. They do make me feel better. Here I go to go find positive med free birth stories!!

Verstej2 · October 2013

Truly every labour is different. I was 29 when I had my first. She was an all natural hospital birth. I laboured the night before on my own in bed and in the hospital. Stayed at home until 11 or 12 the next morning and then was admitted to hospital around 1pm. She was born at just before 4pm that afternoon. So I guess about 14 or 15 hours from when I first felt contractions? (I didn't really pay much attention at first, I didn't believe I was in labour until I was pushing her out.

My second was born when I was 31 and he was a home birth. I had been walking around 6-7 cm dilated for a week when my midwife broke my water. Tristan was born a scant 65 minutes later. Such an incredibly easy delivery. I don't think age has much to do with it. I secretly suspect that fear and our own expectations can sometimes be what makes things so challenging. I think educating yourself and knowing what to expect as best you can has a far greater impact on your birthing experience than your age!

BTW I will be 34 when my third is born this coming June.

rooftop · October 2013

I think you hit it right on the head with your last thought. EVERY BIRTH IS DIFFERENT. You have to be prepared for the possibility of things not going as planned but the key is to have faith and hope for the best. Age has nothing to do with it.
oh and be prepared for many more horror stories. For some reason people love to scare ftm with every possible way things could go wrong. It's best to just ignore it.

lolasmit · October 2013

I made the mistake of mentioning to someone that I wanted to do a natural birth so that I am preparing myself accordingly. They told me how when I get to the hospital I will change my mind and once I am in pain I will want that epi, and how I will probably end up with a c-section. So, after that I just started not telling anyone anything and when asked just saying, "That's between my husband, my doctors and I."

I do agree that all the horror stories are driving me nuts, so I am getting as many books as I possibly can and reading up on the good stories out there. I don't want to come into this with a negative and scary perspective. Thank you so much!!

Nechie122 · October 2013

Unfortunately, it is a little more than "mind over matter." Sometimes things go wrong or people are just unlucky. IMO, the best thing you can do is work with a caregiver who will do as much as s/he can to help you have the birth that you want. Hiring a doula can also work in your favor. You can stack the deck in your favor but you can't control everything -- at any age.

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