Daycare taped on my DD's shoes

jcath · October 2013

I picked my girls up from daycare yesterday to go to their 2 year check up and when I got to the Drs office I noticed one of the girls had masking tape all around her ankle and the top of the shoes. I had a very hard time getting it off. I emailed pictures to the daycare director and noted that while her circulation wasn't cut off there were marks on her leg where the tape had cut into it. The director called back and said they were outside and the playground was wet and my daughter kept taking her shoes off so they taped them on but that they should have taken the tape off immediately upon coming inside.

I'm really upset about it b/c it just seems punitive though I don't think painful (but maybe uncomfortable) on the other hand - she takes her shoes off 100 times a day and it's driving me crazy so I understand it's a problem. Do you think this should be a deal breaker with the daycare?

aglenn · October 2013

I would be upset about that. That seems very inappropriate. My DS takes his shoes off 800x a day, too, and I know it's annoying but tape is not an acceptable solution in any way.

daisy662 · October 2013

That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I'd be upset also. Kids take their shoes off. It's what they do.not sure how I would handle,but I hear your frustration!

preggersin2011 · October 2013

Assuming this isn't MUD- i've read about lawsuits regarding this

Ago · October 2013

You need to report it - I believe people have been in trouble for this in my state.

financialdiva · October 2013

Wait what??? Are you kidding me??? Report them. That is rediculous!

AZ123 · October 2013

That is horrible. they should come to you and ask for advice on how to handle a sitution before they use force with your child. Even before that, this isn't the first time they've had this kind of problem and I look for a daycare that works with the child in a way to help teach and help the kid to learn about keeping shoes on. not physically forcing her. She should be given short time outs so that the choice to keep the shoes on is hers.

Mustardseed2007 · October 2013

No. They need to work on other solutions rather than taping their shoes on. No. That was a very poor decision their part. And it bothers me the most that their director apparently thinks it's okay.

tig594 · October 2013

Oh hell no. If you have alternatives to your current day care I'd start looking.

Meery82 · October 2013

They TAPED her shoes on? What the fuck??

Karla CS · October 2013

If the response was that they should have taken the tape off sooner, that would just make me wonder what else they're doing that is undone before you pick LO up so that you never know about it.

SunAndRain · October 2013

OK, I'm truely not trying to be argumentative. Can some one please explain to me why this is a problem? Assuming it didn't cut off circulation or pull off skin while the tape was being removed.

I swear I'm not a moron but I'm missing the danger hear. Please educate me!

rubber_chicken · October 2013

Apparently this is a thing:

https://www.tulsaworld.com/homepagelatest/dad-finds-shoes-taped-to-child-s-feet-at-fort/article_b5b1bc2a-3123-11e3-b696-001a4bcf6878.html

Nechie122 · October 2013

rubber_chicken said:
Apparently this is a thing:

https://www.tulsaworld.com/homepagelatest/dad-finds-shoes-taped-to-child-s-feet-at-fort/article_b5b1bc2a-3123-11e3-b696-001a4bcf6878.html

Those pictures are horrible; I'd be livid. At 2, a child can be taught not to take off her shoes. If a child lost outdoor time because of taking off her shoes, that would be one thing, but taping on shoes like that?!

tig594 · October 2013

Nechie122 said:

Apparently this is a thing:

https://www.tulsaworld.com/homepagelatest/dad-finds-shoes-taped-to-child-s-feet-at-fort/article_b5b1bc2a-3123-11e3-b696-001a4bcf6878.html
Those pictures are horrible; I'd be livid. At 2, a child can be taught not to take off her shoes. If a child lost outdoor time because of taking off her shoes, that would be one thing, but taping on shoes like that?!

Did you happen to read the comments under this article? Obviously made by people who don't have kids. One person wondered why the parents sent the kid to school with shoes on that didn't fit. Seriously?

Nechie122 · October 2013

tig594 said:

Nechie122 said:

rubber_chicken said:
Apparently this is a thing:

https://www.tulsaworld.com/homepagelatest/dad-finds-shoes-taped-to-child-s-feet-at-fort/article_b5b1bc2a-3123-11e3-b696-001a4bcf6878.html
Those pictures are horrible; I'd be livid. At 2, a child can be taught not to take off her shoes. If a child lost outdoor time because of taking off her shoes, that would be one thing, but taping on shoes like that?!

Did you happen to read the comments under this article? Obviously made by people who don't have kids. One person wondered why the parents sent the kid to school with shoes on that didn't fit. Seriously?

I'm surprised no one said this never would have happened if the mom had just stayed home.

SunAndRain · October 2013

Estwd2 said:

OK, I'm truely not trying to be argumentative. Can some one please explain to me why this is a problem? Assuming it didn't cut off circulation or pull off skin while the tape was being removed.
I swear I'm not a moron but I'm missing the danger hear. Please educate me!
You answered your own question. It might not have this time, but it CAN cause circulation to be cut off, skin to be damaged, etc. What if they do this regularly and one time it is too right? Or she runs around so much the tape slips off the sock or shoe, adhering to the skin, and they pull off skin when removing it? Or starts to fall off and she trips over it, getting injured? So on and so forth.

I was envisioning they taped over the velcro or ties so that the child could not undo the fastener that keep the skoe on the kid's foot. I see your point about circulation, though. Especially as kids run around, heat up, and their foot naturally swells as a result. THanks for the reply

jcath · October 2013

Gosh now I don't know what to do. the principal was making me feel like I was over reacting. I agree that they need to find a better solution and that's what we said to the principal. This is a very highly respected daycare that is actually part of the public school system that my older child is in. Taking them out is an option if I can find somewhere else...reporting it, I need to think about.

Any suggestions for dealing with the teachers while I try to find something else?

SunAndRain · October 2013

I figure the teachers are not going to do things I apprive of 100% of the time so I am VERY direct with them. I came home once to find the poop had not been 100% wiped off DD at her last diaper change. 99% wiped off is not good enough. Next day I nicely explained to the teacher what I found and told her that I felt it was very important for DD to be thoroughly cleaned, even if it requires that they lay DD down for diaper changes (their policy is to change diapers while the toddlers are standing because they say it is more sanitary). She said she would mention it to the other teachers as well. Problem solved so far.

If it happens again I'll talk to the director.

If it happens again after that I'll complain to the owner and discuss whether this is a reportable incident and whether I need to move my child or will they retrain their staff and reconsider their diaper change policies.

As for moving a child to another daycare, I just don't believe the grass is always greener on the other side. DD is in a quality daycare. But I don't expect things will be perfect all the time. I just expect that they'll be willing to listen to and appropriately respond to my concerns and complaints. But a director who intentionally makes me feel like I'm overreacting...no...that would not fly with me.

thedash · October 2013

SunAndRain said:
OK, I'm truely not trying to be argumentative. Can some one please explain to me why this is a problem? Assuming it didn't cut off circulation or pull off skin while the tape was being removed.
I swear I'm not a moron but I'm missing the danger hear. Please educate me!

I think it's also about not using physical force to discipline toddlers. Of course we sometimes have to pick them up and carry them away from something but we don't duct tape them into high chairs. Two year olds can be frustrating but caregivers need to deal with them in ways other than using force.

SunAndRain · October 2013

jcath said:

Gosh now I don't know what to do. the principal was making me feel like I was over reacting. I agree that they need to find a better solution and that's what we said to the principal. This is a very highly respected daycare that is actually part of the public school system that my older child is in. Taking them out is an option if I can find somewhere else...reporting it, I need to think about.

Any suggestions for dealing with the teachers while I try to find something else?

See my post above but in your situation I would say to the teachers, "Yesterday I found that LO's shoes were taped on to her feet. This is not a safe practice because the tape could potentially cut off circulation or damage her skin. I do not want this done to my child in the future. Do you have any concerns or are there any problems that I can try to help you resolve?" Which let's them tell you about the problem of LO taking off their shoes. So you'll then have the opportunity to share how you are teaching LO to leave her shoes on, and that you would rather she have wet feet while playig outside. And that you'll pack an extra pair of socks in the event that she does take her shoes off in the playground and the socks become wet or soiled.

And I would look them in the face while you were talking so they had little doubt that you mean business. It can be a very amicable and short conversation, but the agreement has to be clear.

aeh72 · October 2013

You've received a lot of good advice so I won't repeat any of it, but I did feel compelled to respond with - holy s***!! You mean to tell me that people who run a daycare center can find no other way to deal with a child who takes his/her shoes off? Unbelievable! A simple - "if you continue to take your shoes off outside, you will be going inside and miss outdoor time" seems to be a very common sense and reasonable solution. I'm truly astounded by this.

cecilyandgautam · October 2013

I wouldn't hesitate to call the licensing authority under which they operate. I think people assume that "reporting" an incident automatically means the center will get shut down or fined. In reality, many CPS and childcare licensing reports are not followed up on - often because what's been reported is not in fact a violation of anything. So there's no need for you to research whether this is allowable. If it's concerning for whatever reason, that's good info for the licensing authorities to have. You have no idea what other reports they're getting about this center but if there have been other reports and they're made aware of this taping issue, that might be enough for some social workers to come and verify what's going on.

They don't just get shutdown without actual evidence of wrong doing. All you can do is share the info - it's up to the authorities whether that is actionable information, but the more they know, the better they can do their job.

shannyn0 · October 2013

WOW i'm shocked that your daycare did this! I would be livid.

DD goes to a very good daycare and is also 2 yrs old Last week, her daily note said that she was put in timeout for taking her shoes off outside and that she's been taking her shoes off a lot.

That seems more appropriate than taping the shoes on a toddler.

shannm · October 2013

If this is the first issue you've had, and based on the way the director reacted, it sounds like they didn't even realize it could be an issue. I would address it like SandR suggests above and suggest that thy actually consult the districts policy because it could get them in a lot of trouble.

Sophiasmummy · October 2013

At the centre I work at, taping a child would be grounds for disciplinary action against the staff. Our governing agency would be all over that! It bothers me that the director was so casual about it. That most likely means the do stuff like this often... and I would not be comfortable with that at all. I would definitely be having a sit down meeting with the director and see how she further explains their practices. Its up to you if its a deal breaker or not... (but for me it would be)

laurakaz13 · October 2013

I would be FURIOUS! I would report it and let the Director know that it will never happen again.

PaMommy02 · October 2013

Honestly I would report this. Taping her shoes is so inappropriate. I used to work at a daycare, the teacher who did that should be left go. Obviously she has no common sense. To me this almost abuse.

Katie829 · October 2013

Yeah not cool.
Have you tried boots? My daughter has a rougher time getting boots off.

jennyelf · October 2013

From the subject, I thought you meant that they had taped around the velcro portion (using about 1 inch of tape_ so that your DD couldn't remove the shoes. My DC does this sometimes if kiddo has removed their shoes a lot in a day. That doesn't bother me (they also sometimes loop the Velcro so that LO can't unstick it easily and that doesn't bother me either).

Further reading, if they're using that much tape, and sticking it to your DD's skin, that would bother me.

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