Single Parents
rachthebaj
member
Hello all! Beginning my journey to single mommyhood.
rachthebaj
member
Thought I'd go ahead and introduce myself to everyone here. I'm Rachel, I'm 25, and nearly 21 weeks along with my first child.
I've been creeping on this board for the past couple of weeks, since things got so bad between my ex and I. Well, now it's official. I split from him about 2 weeks ago, and moved out of the house we had shared immediately after. We hadn't been together long (only since January), but I felt such a strong connection to him quickly. There were many things I ignored (drinking problem, neglected bills & cutoff notices, emotional abuse), because I was so sure of my feelings for him, and because he always knew how to reassure me. He was very convincing, as it would turn out. In the end, he just ended up being a 31 year old man child, a liar, and one of the most irresponsible people I've ever met. My pregnancy took us completely by surprise (I was switching BC methods). I had actually split from him 3 days before finding out about it, and stupidly got back together with him because of it. Terrible mistake. Now, my concern is his ability to grow up, and create a safe, drug/alcohol free environment for our baby if he really does want to be a part of his/her life. Alcohol and pot seem to be a constant in his life. The alcohol, I don't so much mind as long as he can take care of his financial responsibilities first (which never happens with him), and lay off it around our child. DHS can, and will remand custody of our child if there are not working utilities in his home. The marijuana however, majorly illegal here in Oklahoma. After we moved in together, it was all I could do to keep him from smoking it in our house, and trying to convince him to get rid of it, and his paraphernalia. (The day I moved, I made sure to take pictures of what he still had laying around in case he takes me to court.) I know the bitterness will be a constant with him. He will likely always harass me, and try to tear me down emotionally. But, at least for now I can control if he is any part of my life. I don't need that stress in my life, and certainly not while I'm pregnant. The funny thing is that he still expects to be a part of appointments, and ultrasounds. Absolutely not. I am still debating if I even want to tell him when I give birth.
Anyhow, this all has been weighing pretty heavily on me, but I am so fortunate to have a hugely supportive family, and network of friends. I am overjoyed to be a mama, and share my life with the little person that has already captured my heart!
So, thanks for listening! Everyone on this board seems so helpful, and understanding! So, in that respect I am happy to be a part of your community!
I've been creeping on this board for the past couple of weeks, since things got so bad between my ex and I. Well, now it's official. I split from him about 2 weeks ago, and moved out of the house we had shared immediately after. We hadn't been together long (only since January), but I felt such a strong connection to him quickly. There were many things I ignored (drinking problem, neglected bills & cutoff notices, emotional abuse), because I was so sure of my feelings for him, and because he always knew how to reassure me. He was very convincing, as it would turn out. In the end, he just ended up being a 31 year old man child, a liar, and one of the most irresponsible people I've ever met. My pregnancy took us completely by surprise (I was switching BC methods). I had actually split from him 3 days before finding out about it, and stupidly got back together with him because of it. Terrible mistake. Now, my concern is his ability to grow up, and create a safe, drug/alcohol free environment for our baby if he really does want to be a part of his/her life. Alcohol and pot seem to be a constant in his life. The alcohol, I don't so much mind as long as he can take care of his financial responsibilities first (which never happens with him), and lay off it around our child. DHS can, and will remand custody of our child if there are not working utilities in his home. The marijuana however, majorly illegal here in Oklahoma. After we moved in together, it was all I could do to keep him from smoking it in our house, and trying to convince him to get rid of it, and his paraphernalia. (The day I moved, I made sure to take pictures of what he still had laying around in case he takes me to court.) I know the bitterness will be a constant with him. He will likely always harass me, and try to tear me down emotionally. But, at least for now I can control if he is any part of my life. I don't need that stress in my life, and certainly not while I'm pregnant. The funny thing is that he still expects to be a part of appointments, and ultrasounds. Absolutely not. I am still debating if I even want to tell him when I give birth.
Anyhow, this all has been weighing pretty heavily on me, but I am so fortunate to have a hugely supportive family, and network of friends. I am overjoyed to be a mama, and share my life with the little person that has already captured my heart!
So, thanks for listening! Everyone on this board seems so helpful, and understanding! So, in that respect I am happy to be a part of your community!
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