Community› The Bump Message Boards› Blended Families
Blended Families
New Discussion

Christmas

+just+j++just+j+ member
edited October 2013 in Blended Families
The Thanksgiving post got me thinking.

I get DD for the entire Thanksgiving holiday - which is four days. The exchange is XH gets her Christmas Eve and Christmas morning.

My mom is not happy about it. Not in a bitchy or demanding way but she is just disappointed. This will be a first for my whole family. I am the only one who has a CO to contend with and we always have everyone together at Christmas. It will be very odd and difficult for everyone not having DD there.

My parents and extended family are 3 hours away from XH so its not an easy switch.

What do all of you do in regards to your children's grandparents and the holiday? I figure XH and I come first in planning. If it doesnt work outside of that then it doesn't. I thought about going home again with her the following weekend to see her cousins and Mom & Dad. That way they can save their presents for her and be a part of her opening them.
"he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
Report Reply to Post

Re: Christmas

  • Banana44Banana44 member
    Well, we never get SS for Christmas.  Long story short -DH is Jewish, BM is Catholic - we don't see SS until Dec. 28.

    However, I have a large family and we always get together for Christmas.  But since we have so many in-laws and COs - we never do it on Christmas.  We schedule a big party sometime around Christmas when we have SS and we exchange gifts, have a big dinner, and usually have a ball.  This year we are doing it after Christmas on the 29th because my sister from FL is coming up.

    Honestly, we look forward to the Christmas party every year and it just adds another day to have fun and get together.
    Don't get me wrong - my DDs, DH, and I really miss SS on Christmas - but this is the next best thing we could think of!
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • cole2144cole2144 member
    DH`s parents are divorced. His dad and step-mom have big family holiday meal but to make it easier on everyone it is not on Christmas. His SM does make Christmas breakfast and anyone who can make it comes, if you can`t no big deal. DH`s mom has dinner early on Christmas, around one. Our arrangement with BM is one parent gets SD til 11 or 12 and the other gets her the rest of the day. On our years to have SD for the day, SD goes with us and on BM`s year, we will do a lunch or something at his mom`s so she can open her gifts from them.
    No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
    image






    Report Reply
  • SimpleJaneSimpleJane member
    One of us takes Christmas eve and christmas morning until 8-9 am. The other person gets the rest of Christmas day. It rotates each year We make sure we plan our Christmas visits with parents accordingly, but we are also flexible with each other about the weekends leading up to Christmas so that we can go to family parties with the kids if we want to.
    Report Reply
  • +just+j++just+j+ member
    I am just glad XH's dysfunctional family does not factor into this. What a cluster that would be!
    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
    Report Reply
  • twister22twister22 member
    BD didn't care about the actual day, and his family rarely does things on the actual day. My family is big on the days and we have traditions. We live 25ish minutes apart, so the CO states that I get the 23rd at 4pm - 25th at 5pm. BD gets the 25th at 5pm - 26th at 5pm. I offered more time but he said a day is more than enough.... 

    Last year his family did their Christmas Eve on the 23rd and Christmas morning the 24th. BD had to work until 9 the 23rd though. BD's mom had his DD(19 months at the time) while he was at work, and he asked if she could have DS too. So I dropped DS off around 11am and  BD dropped DS off the next morning around 11am.

    I'm not sure what's happening this year, as BD has no idea when he gets his DD since it's XGF/BM2's year for Christmas.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    Just a little opinion but I really prefer what you suggested and doing it after Christmas. I think when you celebrate Christmas or birthdays early it takes away from it.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
    Report Reply
  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    DH's Co says that Christmas is 12/24 at 6 pm to 12/26 at 6 pm.  When it's our year with all the kids we do Christmas morning at our house, just us.  We don't go anywhere, no one comes over, it's just family day here.  Then we do a big family Christmas with my folks, my sisters, my niece and nephew on the soonest weekend when we have K.

    This year we don't have any of the kids, so we will end up doing the big family Christmas after New Year's when the kids get back from DC's (assuming they're going).
    image

    Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools



    Report Reply
  • Ginlyn0Ginlyn0 member

    We have schedule we follow which goes something like this:

    On years we have Christmas (like this year), we get them from day school gets out - 26th at noon. Christmas Eve- we spend with DH's extended family (aunts, uncles, ect.) at IL's. Christmas morning- kids open presents at our house, then lunch at my parent's (close family-open presents) and then dinner at IL's (close family-open presents).

    On the years we don't have DD or my SKs on Christmas, we still follow the above schedule with DS and then on the 26th, we pick up DD and SKs and then we go first to my mom's to eat leftover Christmas lunch and open presents, then to MIL's to eat leftover Christmas dinner and open presents and then we finally go back to our house to open gifts. Sometimes if Santa brings a gift that maybe IL's or my parents bought to supplement, we might bring the santa gift to my parents for them to open first.

    The only downside is that if we don't have the kids on Christmas, they don't see their aunts, uncles and cousins usually at my parents or IL's because most of them are not off work on the 26th but they leave presents for them at my parents or IL's.

    DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

    Report Reply
  • Lavender PLavender P member
    DH's CO has it so one parent gets Christmas Eve from 11 am until 11 am Christmas Day. Then the other parent gets 11 am until the 26th but the entire Christmas break is supposed to be split up between the two. It switches every year.

    DH's parents aren't together so we have to see them separately and try to fit in them being able to see SS as well. On years we get SS on Christmas Eve and morning, we see DH's dad's family on Christmas Eve, then DH's mom's family comes over Christmas morning to open presents while we have SS. Then Christmas evening we see my family.

    On years we get SS starting at 11 on Christmas Day, we pick up SS and go to DH's moms house. Then later in the day we go to DH's dad's house. Luckily for us my parents don't celebrate Christmas so they don't care if we see them a day after.

    DS is still young enough (16 months) that we can wait until we have SS to open presents, but as he gets older we will probably let him start ahead of time on years we don't get SS until 11.
    "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu
    Report Reply
  • TaylorHam86TaylorHam86 member
    edited October 2013
    We live 9 hours away from BM, so we get the kids every other Christmas. On the years that we get them, we spend the holiday with DH's side of the family so the kids can play with their cousins. On the years that we get them for New Years, we spend Christmas with my side of the family.

    Edited to add: I say "we do" this... this is what we're planning. This year will be our second Christmas together, and the first without the boys.
    image image
    image
    BabyFruit Ticker

    Report Reply
  • NdsalesNdsales member
    We get SS every Thanksgiving (this was at BM's insistance this be added into the co), then we get ss every odd year from the day he is out of school until the night before school starts again at 8pm and every even year we get ss from teh 26th through 8pm the night before school starts again.
    Report Reply
  • IlumineIlumine member
    First, we do our visitation by the WHOLE HOLIDAY.  It seems to be the easiest on everyone involved:

    1. No kids being ripped from a family event to drive to yet another family event that has already started.  
    2. No worrying about adding the Ex into your holiday logistics. 
    3. Enough time for the child to be transitioned to the new household before the actual holiday day.  
    4. Time enough to get over homesickness/missing mommy

    Does it suck for DH that he doesn't get to see his kids for a whole holiday, sure.  But its about the kids and ulitmately what is best for them.  And a holiday full of travel and stress is not what is best for the child. 

    We alternate holidays by odd/even years.  DH gets Christmas and the first half of summer on the odd years and Thanksgiving, Spring Break and second half of the summer.  

    But this is our last year of the CO, since SS turns 18 next week.  Our CO runs through the end of high school.  
    file:///Users/Ilumine/Desktop/Family%20Portrait%20for%20gift.jpg
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"