June 2014 Moms

Do you want to know the gender?

Or are you "team green?"  And can we please come up with a different name for "team green?"  I HATE that!

We go back and forth on whether or not we want to find out.  Before IVF I always did, but now that we've gone through it and realize it might be the only time we get to do this we're kinda like eeeeeh maybe we want the whole experience.  Another part of me wants to find out but not tell anyone, but God knows that'll never happen.  My mind will probably change a million times.
Me 31 ~ DH 30
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DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
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Re: Do you want to know the gender?

  • I'm torn too.  DH is adamant about it being a surprise, which was fine the first time around.  This time, however, I've since gotten rid of all the baby stuff, and need to rebuy it all.  It was kind of a hassle to just stick to gender-neutral everything.  I keep thinking maybe I could find out the gender this time, buy all the supplies, and hide whatever is not gender neutral in the basement under a sheet.  Do you think I could actually do this, though, and not inadvertently reveal it to DH during converation. . . . .?

     

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  • chickpea912chickpea912 member
    edited October 2013
    With my first, and with this, I gave my husband the decision whether or not we found out.  He wants to find out. So we are.  

    And if you don't like "team green," don't use it.  

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  • I don't want to know but DH does. He's so impatient and pushy that he'll probably win. I just don't know if this is a battle worth fighting over.
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  • I am seriously dying to know! I want to prepare well dependent on gender.

    Married - 12/2011  TTC #1 - 8/2013 

    BFP - 10/14/2013 EDD June 20, 2014

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  • Definitely finding out.  I'm not a fan of yellows and greens, especially for girls.  Not saying everything would have to be blue or pink, either, but I don't want only 2 color choices!  Besides, the way I see it is it is a surprise either way.  You either find out the surprise earlier, or later, and this way I can be fully prepared.
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  • I think it would be fun to be surprised at least once but this time I will find out. I was just at Target trying to find a gender neutral outfit to give my husband when I tell him tonight and it was so hard to find something. That is not necessarily a reason to find out just something I noticed.
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  • MommyP710 said:
    Definitely finding out.  I'm not a fan of yellows and greens, especially for girls.  Not saying everything would have to be blue or pink, either, but I don't want only 2 color choices!  Besides, the way I see it is it is a surprise either way.  You either find out the surprise earlier, or later, and this way I can be fully prepared.
    Completely agree.  I think you're surprised either way- either when you deliver or when you do the ultrasound.  None of us knows, so it is still a surprise, you just learn early or late.  I want to have everything purchased and ready to go.  After years of working retail, it will be completely impossible to find gender specific clothing in the correct season AFTER giving birth. I've seen so many people come in & try, but they have to wait at least a few months for their girl (or boy) to not look gender neutral.

    Personally, I want to get to know my unborn baby as best as I can, so for me that means knowing his or her gender.  I think it will help me to connect and she him/her as more of a future person to be & not just a baby I have yet to be acquainted.  It might affect the way I talk, or my nickname for him/her.  I just want to start knowing this little person as soon as possible.

    Fun idea:  I have a friend who had the us tech write the gender down and then the opened it together as a Christmas present!
    TTC since 2010.
    IF since 2011.
    MTHFR gene, Endo
    Clomid, Letrozole, Gonal-F, Ovidrel, Progesterone.
    14 IUI. 8 Single insemination cycles, 6 doubles.
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  • We'll find out the sex, I think. Partly to narrow the field on names, and partly because I'm a terribly impatient person sometimes. I think it's a surprise either way, so I'll get this surprise early and the whole what does the baby really look like surprise later. I also like what PP said about becoming better acquainted.



    TTC #1 since 11/2012
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    **Loss 1-Cycle 7(June 2013) at 5w6d-CP**Loss 2-Cycle 11(October 2013) at 5w4d-CP**
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  • I want to know!!
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  • mrsgerman said:
    We will not be finding out. I am driving my family nuts with this (and did last time) however I think it will be much more exciting to have my husband announce it to me rather than some unenthused US tech at 20 weeks. 
    A lot of people freak out over the "planning" aspect. But really in the end you are planning for a BABY. Whether that baby happens to be a boy or a girl doesn't make much of a difference outside of a few color choices. Also gender neutral does not have to be all yellow and green. Plus what happens when the boy you have been planning on comes out a girl, or vice versa. That happens more than people expect. 

    I'm also not concerned about clothing, babies live in onesies the first few months and I have 2 very anxious grandmommas who will be more than anxious to shop for gender specific clothing after the baby is born. 
    mrsgerman I don't get the "planning" thing either.  It's like if I don't know the gender of my baby I'm not going to be prepared?  LOL  It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.  And I agree on the clothing.  I actually think that's one reason NOT to find out....as much as I'd love some blue or pink items, I don't want EVERY SINGLE THING to be blue or pink, and that's typically what happens when you know.  Either choice is fine w/me, and I'm still undecided but that's always how I think about it. :-)
    Me 31 ~ DH 30
    IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
    <3 CJW 6/15/2014 <3
    DX - PCOS 2004
    FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
  • Even before IF, h and I always agreed that we would not find out. I realize that we would be surprised either way, but we would rather just wait it out. In all honestly, after all we have been through to get here, a healthy baby would be the best gift.

    As far as the "planning" of it all, I'm not worried. My mom found out 2 weeks before she delivered that she was in fact having twins! Could you imagine?? There will be a lifetime of decorating for whatever gender we end up with :)
    Me: 37, DH: 35 :: TCC since 2/11 SA: Perfect! CD3  HSG = Blocked Right Tube
    April- Femara 2.5mg + Trigger + IUI = BFN   May- Femara 5mg = CX - No Response on Left = BFN
    June- Femara 7.5mg + Trigger + IUI = BFN  August- Lap & Hysteroscopy = Blocked & Partially Blocked Tubes
    September- Femara 5mg = CX - No Response on Left = BFN  October- 100mg Clomid + Trigger + TI = BFN
    IVF # 1: Stims 11/30 ER 12/12/12! (10R, 10M, 8F, 2T, 6 F) :: Beta #1- 176  c/p @ 4w4d
    FET #1 February 26th :: Lost 4 to Thaw, Transferred 2 = BFFN
    IVF # 2 Stims 5/10 ER 5/21 (15R, 13M, 13F, 2T, 7F- 6d3 & 1d5) :: Beta # 1- 15 c/p @ 4w
    FET #2 Cancelled, Right Tube Developed a Hydro  8/28 Hydro & Scar Tissue Removed  Cleared for FET
    FET #2.2 Scheduled for September 20th
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  • We found out with our son.  I wanted to know for me (I figured he was a boy at 9 days pregnant, before I got the BFP) and then when I my sis announced a year European tour I knew I wanted her to know before she left!

    We will be finding out for this baby too.  Even though... mama knows, boy!
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  • Andplusalso, who ever said you can't buy girl or boy clothes for a "team green" baby. My mom has plenty of stories of women getting clothing for both sexes at their shower and returning the items they didn't need after birth!
    Me: 37, DH: 35 :: TCC since 2/11 SA: Perfect! CD3  HSG = Blocked Right Tube
    April- Femara 2.5mg + Trigger + IUI = BFN   May- Femara 5mg = CX - No Response on Left = BFN
    June- Femara 7.5mg + Trigger + IUI = BFN  August- Lap & Hysteroscopy = Blocked & Partially Blocked Tubes
    September- Femara 5mg = CX - No Response on Left = BFN  October- 100mg Clomid + Trigger + TI = BFN
    IVF # 1: Stims 11/30 ER 12/12/12! (10R, 10M, 8F, 2T, 6 F) :: Beta #1- 176  c/p @ 4w4d
    FET #1 February 26th :: Lost 4 to Thaw, Transferred 2 = BFFN
    IVF # 2 Stims 5/10 ER 5/21 (15R, 13M, 13F, 2T, 7F- 6d3 & 1d5) :: Beta # 1- 15 c/p @ 4w
    FET #2 Cancelled, Right Tube Developed a Hydro  8/28 Hydro & Scar Tissue Removed  Cleared for FET
    FET #2.2 Scheduled for September 20th
    2 Thawed, 2 Transferred! Beta #1- 96, Beta #2 906! :: EDD June 10th
    2015- 2 failed FET. We are done
    SURPRISE! BFP 8/8/16   EDD 4/1/17

     
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  • I want to find out, scratch that I need to find out! DH wants to find out as well. It is a surprise whenever you find out. I'm a planner- I know some of you don't get that from reading the earlier post but I'm a bit OCD with details, and I love knowing as much as I can about something. And having a baby is a HUGE something :)  So team find out all the way for us!

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  • We didn't find out with DS and we aren't going to find out with this one. I like the surprise at the end, hubby getting to make the announcement... The big tada. People gave me hell about not finding out... I think my MIL was the only supportive one. Everyone else wanted to know and were cranky we weren't finding out. All the more incentive to stick with Team Green. :)
  • FutureMrsW9FutureMrsW9 member
    edited October 2013
    tialilly said:
    I want to find out, scratch that I need to find out! DH wants to find out as well. It is a surprise whenever you find out. I'm a planner- I know some of you don't get that from reading the earlier post but I'm a bit OCD with details, and I love knowing as much as I can about something. And having a baby is a HUGE something :)  So team find out all the way for us!
    I'm an OCD planner, too, literally everything in my house is labeled and there is zero clutter.  Trips are planned like 11 months in advance as soon as you can book airline tix, etc. lol  But I still don't think that has anything to do with whether or not you find out the gender of your baby.  Either way, that's just MO.
    Me 31 ~ DH 30
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    <3 CJW 6/15/2014 <3
    DX - PCOS 2004
    FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
  • mrsgerman said:
    We didn't find out with DS and we aren't going to find out with this one. I like the surprise at the end, hubby getting to make the announcement... The big tada. People gave me hell about not finding out... I think my MIL was the only supportive one. Everyone else wanted to know and were cranky we weren't finding out. All the more incentive to stick with Team Green. :)
    Lol! I was the same way. I wanted to be TG from the start but when people started to complain (like they have any f-ing say anyway) it made me stick to it even more. 

    I also think the anticipation of everyone else (moms, dads, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, friends ect) finding out and getting that announcement upon birth is exciting too!
    mrsgerman HAHAHA Great minds think alike!  My family probably won't care either way, but DH's family will DEF want to know.  We knew that my nephew was a boy AND his name at Thanksgiving and he wasn't born until March....buzz kill.  My SIL has already expressed that it will drive her crazy if we don't find out, and that kinda makes me not want to find out even more.  *evil laugh*  She told us a few months back that her SIL on her husbands side was expecting and was like "Thank god Andrea said they're going to find out the sex, I couldn't handle not knowing!"  Omg, it made my mind stew when she said that because we were underway with IVF at that point and new our day might come soon, too.  Even if we do decide to find out, we absolutely won't reveal the name until birth - that's like my #1 no-no.
    Me 31 ~ DH 30
    IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
    <3 CJW 6/15/2014 <3
    DX - PCOS 2004
    FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
  • We didn't find out with our first and I loved having the surprise. With this one, I want to know but my hubby doesn't. We might just find out and not tell anyone.
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  • I think we're going to find out the gender, but we are NOT sharing the name with anyone until after the birth.
    Married November 2009
    Clara, August 2014 
    Baby Boy due October 2017
  • Team green again. It was awesome not knowing last time!
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  • I'm one of those "planners."  I already have a boy so I need to know if I should get all his clothes out from the basement or buy new ones.  When I was pg with him I had a closet full of clothes well before he was born, all hand-me-downs from my 2 nephews. 

    Also we moved a few months ago and painted the whole upstairs except for "the baby's room."  (We had to prime to get rid of the god-awful color the previous owners had on the walls, but figured we'd wait until we had another baby to paint it.)

    Also, I highly recommend keeping it a secret from everyone if you do find out.  We knew with DS but didn't tell anyone until my shower.  I didn't get ONE piece of clothing. 

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  • Team Green this time. DH never wants to find out (pre-birth) and I always do, so we agreed to find out for #1 but be surprised for #2.
    I am trying to convince myself that the surprise will be fun....


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  • Even before IF, h and I always agreed that we would not find out. I realize that we would be surprised either way, but we would rather just wait it out. In all honestly, after all we have been through to get here, a healthy baby would be the best gift. As far as the "planning" of it all, I'm not worried. My mom found out 2 weeks before she delivered that she was in fact having twins! Could you imagine?? There will be a lifetime of decorating for whatever gender we end up with :)
    This is crazy.  I cannot imagine.

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  • Team Green for sure! I loved making that discovery myself when my DS was born. I was so sure he was a girl so it was a great surprise!
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  • @ItttyBitttys I know! Blows my mind every time she tells us the stories of us. U/S were just such a new technology back then!
    Me: 37, DH: 35 :: TCC since 2/11 SA: Perfect! CD3  HSG = Blocked Right Tube
    April- Femara 2.5mg + Trigger + IUI = BFN   May- Femara 5mg = CX - No Response on Left = BFN
    June- Femara 7.5mg + Trigger + IUI = BFN  August- Lap & Hysteroscopy = Blocked & Partially Blocked Tubes
    September- Femara 5mg = CX - No Response on Left = BFN  October- 100mg Clomid + Trigger + TI = BFN
    IVF # 1: Stims 11/30 ER 12/12/12! (10R, 10M, 8F, 2T, 6 F) :: Beta #1- 176  c/p @ 4w4d
    FET #1 February 26th :: Lost 4 to Thaw, Transferred 2 = BFFN
    IVF # 2 Stims 5/10 ER 5/21 (15R, 13M, 13F, 2T, 7F- 6d3 & 1d5) :: Beta # 1- 15 c/p @ 4w
    FET #2 Cancelled, Right Tube Developed a Hydro  8/28 Hydro & Scar Tissue Removed  Cleared for FET
    FET #2.2 Scheduled for September 20th
    2 Thawed, 2 Transferred! Beta #1- 96, Beta #2 906! :: EDD June 10th
    2015- 2 failed FET. We are done
    SURPRISE! BFP 8/8/16   EDD 4/1/17

     
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  • @ItttyBitttys I know! Blows my mind every time she tells us the stories of us. U/S were just such a new technology back then!

    I think I would have an anxiety attack if I found out I was having twins at my 8 week appt!  But 2 weeks before?!?!  Yikes.... panic mode! 

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  • We found out with all 3 girls but this time I want to be surprised at delivery!! I've had all the same excuses: too much of a planner, not patient, hate yellow/green etc.

    Honestly, it's all an excuse. You don't have to do yellow/green just because you don't know the sex. You don't have to be "unprepared" b/c you don't know the sex. I plan on doing grey nursery and expresso crib set and add in a "gender" color afterwards. Purple for a girl (not sure boy yet). The baby sleeps in our room in a cradle for the 1st 3mo anyways!!
  • The first time I heard "team green" I thought it was some new Eco-friendly birthing plan... (Total noob here)
    LOL  I HATE that phrase!  Idk why.  Just like I hate "preggers" or "prego" uuugh!  WHY?? haha
    Me 31 ~ DH 30
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    <3 CJW 6/15/2014 <3
    DX - PCOS 2004
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  • We're finding out! We both want to know, we are actually planning on doing a 3d ultrasound at 15 weeks to find out.
  • I said that I wanted to be "team green" to DH (I didn't actually say "team green" though, he'd have no idea what I was talking about) and he laughed.  Right in my face!

    I can't even deal with Christmas gifts as surprises, nevermind a baby!

     

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  • I honestly haven't decided.  We did find out with DS and I am glad we did... I had a rough time being pregnant and I felt a little more connected to the baby knowing he was a little boy in there.  Since #2 is going to be our last, I was thinking it might be fun to wait until delivery this time, but DH isn't so sure he wants to wait. 

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  • I'm doing team green (also hate the name!) this time. We got an angle of the dangle guess and then confirmation at 14 weeks when we had our daughter. So I want to have the fun of not knowing this time! I think it would be awesome for my husband to announce what we are having on birth day!

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  • We both want to know. We found out with my daughter, and loved knowing who was in there for the second half of the pregnancy. I am impatient, so that was another reason. And there's so much going on with meeting the baby at birth, that I'd rather have the time to savor the surprise earlier, when less is going on.
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  • I wish we had been Team Green last time, but there is NO way I could do it this time.  We have way too much clothes to either keep or get rid of! Besides, if we don't find out I doubt this kid will ever have a name....we were so torn with my DD's name.  If she were a boy she would still be nameless.
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  • I definitely want to know! My husband wants to do team green since we aren't sure if we'll have any more after this one.
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  • I had to know with our first. It was a very long and difficult road for us, so waiting to find out was not an option for me. This time, I'm torn. I got rid of a lot of baby stuff thinking we wouldn't be able to get pregnant again, 5yrs later, here we are. Plus I love to plan and dream about every detail. However, it might be fun to wait this time. I dunno. Maybe I'll do a gender reveal party so we can experience finding out the same time as everyone else. We'll see. :)
  • Finding out!!!!! :D
  • We aren't finding out! We found out with our first two, and since we already have a boy and a girl, we decided to keep it a surprise this time.

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