UO? - Page 3 — The Bump
May 2014 Moms

UO?

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Re: UO?

  • It's hard to pinpoint why it rubs me the wrong way, but I think it has something to do with it seeming to relegate the mom to pack animal status. You're not a babywearer... you're a woman and a mom who sometimes carries her baby in a sling. As I said, I'm not at all opposed to the practice, just the term and its variants. 
  • mrspopsiclemrspopsicle
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    edited October 2013



    I hate when people say team pink/blue/green. It makes me think of team Edward/Jacob and then I think you're twelve.

    But, but, but...what about Team Ben/Team Noel???



    I realize I'm not very cool, but I have no idea who Ben and Noel are. I'm guessing also people who do not need teams?

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  • @kateish my husband is a baby wearer too. He loves it and actually wears our son more than I do if we're out together. I don't see it as a sexist term at all.

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  • I hate when people say team pink/blue/green. It makes me think of team Edward/Jacob and then I think you're twelve.

    But, but, but...what about Team Ben/Team Noel???

    I realize I'm not very cool, but I have no idea who Ben and Noel are. I'm guessing also people who do not need teams?


    That makes me feel old! You don't know Felicity?!?!

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  • I think anyone who thinks they 'know' if they are having a boy or girl before their anatomy scan is stupid. ( for ex. The 12 week scan )
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  • I think Instagram is stupid. I also actively dislike women who make weddings and pregnancy/motherhood all about them. And actually the two dislikes go hand in hand, since Instagram is the favorite outlet for so many of these bridezillas and momzillas.


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  • My UO needs a little back story first. I grew up in a very small town with a very large Lutheran Finish population and they believe in "populating the earth", so my UO mainly has to do with that. I think that women who have many kids, and I mean many like 8-18 must go a little bit mental in the head after about the 8th one. I could understand people having a ton of kids way back when, when children passed away from diseases and they needed help on the farm, and all of that, but the earth does not need to be any more populated by the same people and having 20 kids. Seriously how can a modern day woman still believe that crap.


  • Peaceb0ne said:



    Not sure if this is UO or not - but I am terrified of becoming a mom. The idea of being responsible for someone being so dependent on me scares the shit out of me. The idea of having no "me time" terrifies me. I know this sounds selfish and I'm hoping my attitude changes, but it's how I feel right now.
    I keep going back and forth with this feeling too. I am so happy I'm pregnant, but I'm fucking terrified at all of the changes that are coming. I think it's normal? :)


    Totally normal. I had those feelings before DS. Oh and I still have them. And even now, I think to myself, I finally have this routine down with one kid and I'm about to add another to the mix?

    And I'm a loss mom. I want this baby, I wanted DS, with my whole heart. But it is terrifying, and rightfully so. Everything changes. You find your groove, I promise...but it can be overwhelming at first.


    This exactly for me too, I felt terrified before DS, especially being 22 and all my friends still being crazy drunk and in college. But I have a really good hang of things and I feel like I'm doing a good job (most days), but I do get the feeling sometimes of "omg there's gonna be 2" totally normal :)

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  • pandadair said:
    Empireceo said:
    I think people put too much emphasis on how much a woman should or shouldn't gain. With DS my mom swore I should only gain 20 lbs. I gained 60 even though I ate *mostly* healthy. My dr wasn't concerned. I lost it all by 4 months pp. I have a feeling I will gain that again this time, especially since I'm gaining a decent amount already even though I can barely eat anything. As long as people aren't crazy and overeating everything covered in chocolate, we (as a society) need to quit focusing so much on a woman's weight. If the dr is worried fine, if not then she's doing just fine.
    I get what you're saying about pregnancy and I agree.  But I don't think we (as a society) need to quit focusing on women's or men's weights.  Obesity is a real problem here and it's getting worse, especially for kids.
    On a macro level, sure. But the individual policing is annoying and uncalled for. Especially with pregnancy, it's no one's business but yours and your doctor's. If you're getting exercise and eating relatively healthily like pistolpackinmomma, what are you supposed to do about gaining 60 lbs?

    I'm just already sick of people's input on my pregnancy and I'm not even noticeably pregnant yet. I made a joke to two coworkers the other day about it being a mistake to buy a Costco size block of cheddar cheese. My coworker responded flatly "You're not supposed to eat cheese." Umm... ok? Beside the fact that that's not even correct, I'm not stupid and I will do what I and my doctor think is best. So go ahead and don't crawl up my butt about how I take care of myself, kthxbai.
    Maybe it's just because I'm tired, but the idea of someone deadpanning that at me is hilarious.  Is she an angry vegan, or just a nitwit full of pretend knowledge about pregnancy?

  • pandadair said:
    kramja01 said:
    ebox322 said:
    My UO is the pacifier thing. I really don't understand why people have a problem with them. I get the teeth thing, the speech thing, the attachment thing. I just don't get how thumb-sucking isn't worse? I'm the oldest of 4 and we all had pacifiers religiously since day 1. My mom had zero breastfeeding problems and none of us have ever needed braces. I'm sure there's other stories and exceptions, but I swear I would have lost my mind without our paci!!
    Ugh, my mom was against pacifiers so I ended up being a thumb sucker. I probably sucked my thumb (at night) until I was at least 5 or 6. The orthodontist told me later on that it totally misshaped my mouth. I had braces (and headgear, and lip bumpers, and spacers) forever.
    Ooooooh, a UO from 5th grade me. I loved my headgear. I thought it was awesome and I wore it even when I didn't have to.
    I wore mine in high school because I kept trying to sleep in it like the orthodontist told me to and waking up with it tangled around my neck somehow.  I was totally cool in high school, clearly.  :)

    lynseyadamson
  • Don't tell my parents or brothers... but I was born and raised in St. Louis and I am so stinkin sick of the Cardinals right now and their updates from all my friends on FB!!  I live in KC now and still had a special spot for the Cardinals, but maybe it's just hormones... I am sick of hearing about them and listening to their fans!!



    :) Go Boston! hehe 
    I just moved from KC! @KatejCalvert

    teachnkc
  • sammy.k said:
    sammy.k said:
    If your kid is legit sick please for the love of God don't send them to school!! I don't want my kid to get your kids crud, and I don't want it either so please, just leave it at home and take a sick day.

    the other day I sat here at work listening to my coworkers laugh about how they medicate their sick children with tylenol so they can leave them at school or daycare, and beat the "no fevers" rule. Like "haha by the time they realize he's sick, i'll be at work!" 

    made me sad to think of those poor little peanuts feeling crappy and being bundled off to daycare for the day.

    As someone who worked in daycare..we knew when parents did that....and we judged the crap out of them!
    I used to work in a daycare as well and people would do this all the time. There were times that we would call parents to pick up their sick child and they wouldn't come for hours!! I get your job is important, but your kid and their health is more important than any job in the world to me!
    I agree that it's in bad taste, but remember that some parents don't have paid sick time or have run out and can't afford to take unpaid time from work...it's not always a matter of people being assholes because they love their job more than their child. 
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  • I hate dippy poetry in children's books, and picture books with either way too much text per page (especially if it's boring crap) or so little text that it's just a few random words strung together.  All the World is the most recent offender I can think of.  The pictures were gorgeous, but the text was mostly just lists of four words. 

  • I think anyone who thinks they 'know' if they are having a boy or girl before their anatomy scan is stupid. ( for ex. The 12 week scan )

    My only exception is for those who do (I believe) the MaterniT21 test which can tell the sex of the baby or if they have amnio done. Those two can tell you what you are having by detecting baby's chromosomes in the blood or fluid depending on which one they have.

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  • I think anyone who thinks they 'know' if they are having a boy or girl before their anatomy scan is stupid. ( for ex. The 12 week scan )
    My only exception is for those who do (I believe) the MaterniT21 test which can tell the sex of the baby or if they have amnio done. Those two can tell you what you are having by detecting baby's chromosomes in the blood or fluid depending on which one they have.
    I think a perinatologist who does a scan at 13-14 weeks and feels confident in their experience to tell you can be trusted. I cannot vouch for Sonographers (I honestly don't even know their training and have never even had a scan from one).
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  • I think anyone who thinks they 'know' if they are having a boy or girl before their anatomy scan is stupid. ( for ex. The 12 week scan )

    My only exception is for those who do (I believe) the MaterniT21 test which can tell the sex of the baby or if they have amnio done. Those two can tell you what you are having by detecting baby's chromosomes in the blood or fluid depending on which one they have.

    I think a perinatologist who does a scan at 13-14 weeks and feels confident in their experience to tell you can be trusted. I cannot vouch for Sonographers (I honestly don't even know their training and have never even had a scan from one).

    A true sonographer (not a tech) has 4 years of college. I have a friend who is one and has kept track personally of her "guesses" at 12 weeks and the actual results and I think she had about a 97% success rate but she still got her own son wrong. We laugh about it but even she will say that it's not a for sure thing until the anatomy scan. At 12, 13 or even 14 weeks they have to get just the right angle for the pictures to get an accurate guess. I would not be painting any rooms based off of a guess sooner than 18-20 weeks.

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  • I think anyone who thinks they 'know' if they are having a boy or girl before their anatomy scan is stupid. ( for ex. The 12 week scan )
    My only exception is for those who do (I believe) the MaterniT21 test which can tell the sex of the baby or if they have amnio done. Those two can tell you what you are having by detecting baby's chromosomes in the blood or fluid depending on which one they have.
    I think a perinatologist who does a scan at 13-14 weeks and feels confident in their experience to tell you can be trusted. I cannot vouch for Sonographers (I honestly don't even know their training and have never even had a scan from one).
    A true sonographer (not a tech) has 4 years of college. I have a friend who is one and has kept track personally of her "guesses" at 12 weeks and the actual results and I think she had about a 97% success rate but she still got her own son wrong. We laugh about it but even she will say that it's not a for sure thing until the anatomy scan. At 12, 13 or even 14 weeks they have to get just the right angle for the pictures to get an accurate guess. I would not be painting any rooms based off of a guess sooner than 18-20 weeks.
    I think the results are overwhelmingly correct, and I am an optimist! I think the horror stories just stay with us longer. As long as you did not force anyone (doctor, sonographer, or even a tech) into making an opinion they are not confident about, I am just "stupid" enough to believe it. ;) Of course, my daughter being predicted on the 14/15 week cusp is my experience!
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  • Peaceb0ne said:



    Not sure if this is UO or not - but I am terrified of becoming a mom. The idea of being responsible for someone being so dependent on me scares the shit out of me. The idea of having no "me time" terrifies me. I know this sounds selfish and I'm hoping my attitude changes, but it's how I feel right now.

    I keep going back and forth with this feeling too. I am so happy I'm pregnant, but I'm fucking terrified at all of the changes that are coming. I think it's normal? :). Normal. It is a big adjustment, but totally worth it.

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

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  • Not sure if this is UO or not - but I am terrified of becoming a mom. The idea of being responsible for someone being so dependent on me scares the shit out of me. The idea of having no "me time" terrifies me. I know this sounds selfish and I'm hoping my attitude changes, but it's how I feel right now. 
    I have one DS and he is 16 months I still don't get regular showers between school, DS and regular household chores its really hard. I'm sort of worried what it will be like with two since DH commutes pretty far and is gone for most of the day. I'm so excited that we were blessed with this little miracle but I definitely feel overwhelmed. At first with DS we didnt know how we would make it through the day (He had colic and I had not only a c section but a gall bladder removal) now I laugh and play with him I find ways to get homework done. Just be patient with yourself its an adjustment but it will click for you.
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  • Kimbus22 said:
    awc1986 said:
    Hehe, love the John bender gif! Mine is perhaps not too controversial, because there's plenty of time for that.... I'm sorry but I don't want your kid's 2nd hand junk. I want to buy my own things for my own child so is appreciate it if people stopped telling me to join groups for 2nd or 3rd hand crap. I find the idea of taking something that someone else's kids has puked, peed, pood and drooled in really gross.

    I think it's stupid to spend $50 on something new that your kid will puke on in 2 days when you could have gotten it for $5 second hand.  90% of our baby gear was free hand me downs.  You wash it all and it's fine.  My kid's PNP, high chair etc were all free and had all been puked on previously.  He lived to tell the tale.  It all works the same way and it all gets covered in gross bodily fluids eventually.

    ETA:  We had money set aside to buy everything ourselves.  And I had enough to buy new.  But a friend offered their stuff since they were done having kids and I was thrilled.  More money for diapers, formula and maternity leave!  Honestly I think the "I must have new stuff" is very much a FTM thought process.  By the time you have the first kid home a week and every surface in your house has been pooped/peed/puked on you just don't care.
    Nope. I'm not a FTM and I am buying everything new....because I want to. I don't like the idea of hand me downs, and I can afford to buy new, so I am going to. This was my UO last week :)
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  • IBackBevoIBackBevo
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    edited October 2013
    I think people w


    sammy.k said:


    sammy.k said:

    If your kid is legit sick please for the love of God don't send them to school!! I don't want my kid to get your kids crud, and I don't want it either so please, just leave it at home and take a sick day.

    the other day I sat here at work listening to my coworkers laugh about how they medicate their sick children with tylenol so they can leave them at school or daycare, and beat the "no fevers" rule. Like "haha by the time they realize he's sick, i'll be at work!" 

    made me sad to think of those poor little peanuts feeling crappy and being bundled off to daycare for the day.

    As someone who worked in daycare..we knew when parents did that....and we judged the crap out of them!
    I used to work in a daycare as well and people would do this all the time. There were times that we would call parents to pick up their sick child and they wouldn't come for hours!! I get your job is important, but your kid and their health is more important than any job in the world to me!


    I agree that it's in bad taste, but remember that some parents don't have paid sick time or have run out and can't afford to take unpaid time from work...it's not always a matter of people being assholes because they love their job more than their child. 


    So you are going to take your sick kid to daycare who, in turn, will get other kids and possibly even teachers sick? All so you don't have to lose a day's pay or find alternate care?

    Sorry, but a parent who does that is selfish and, as a parent of a child in daycare, they are the type of parent I pray does not have a child in DS's class.

    I am a litigation attorney and there are times I can't take off because I have a hearing or a deposition scheduled among a witness and multiple other attorneyd or, even more pressing, a trial. When I am in one of these situations, my dh has to take off. And my husband is a physician and him taking off requires him to cancel about 20 patients (and Iinconvenience them), lose all the income from those patients and still have to pay his staff. Yet, we STILL would never knowingly take our kid to daycare sick! Because we realize the world does not revolve around just us and our jobs. Sometimes being a parent means sucking it up.

    Edit: Typo.
    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

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  • Empireceo said:
    I think Uggs are not only ugly but impractical for winter.  Oh yeah, there's a foot of snow on the ground, let me walk around in my suede footwear.  Dumb.
    Well, I never wear mine when it's wet or snowy because I don't want to ruin them. I mostly wear them around the house because they're toasty warm. I might wear them to the grocery store too. I've also worn them to fly during the winter because they're slip-on, and I always freeze my ass off on planes so they do help keep me warm. I otherwise have waterproof snow boots from LL Bean for when it's gross out.




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  • ? said:

    the other day I sat here at work listening to my coworkers laugh about how they medicate their sick children with tylenol so they can leave them at school or daycare, and beat the "no fevers" rule. Like "haha by the time they realize he's sick, i'll be at work!"


    When I had DD I was a single mom, working 2 jobs, and going to college full time. I never sent her to daycare sick.
    A) not ok.

    B) commendable.

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  • IBackBevoIBackBevo
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    IBackBevo said:

    I think people w


    sammy.k said:


    sammy.k said:
    If your kid is legit sick please for the love of God don't send them to school!! I don't want my kid to get your kids crud, and I don't want it either so please, just leave it at home and take a sick day.

    the other day I sat here at work listening to my coworkers laugh about how they medicate their sick children with tylenol so they can leave them at school or daycare, and beat the "no fevers" rule. Like "haha by the time they realize he's sick, i'll be at work!" 

    made me sad to think of those poor little peanuts feeling crappy and being bundled off to daycare for the day.

    As someone who worked in daycare..we knew when parents did that....and we judged the crap out of them!
    I used to work in a daycare as well and people would do this all the time. There were times that we would call parents to pick up their sick child and they wouldn't come for hours!! I get your job is important, but your kid and their health is more important than any job in the world to me!

    I agree that it's in bad taste, but remember that some parents don't have paid sick time or have run out and can't afford to take unpaid time from work...it's not always a matter of people being assholes because they love their job more than their child. 
    So you are going to take your sick kid to daycare who, in turn, will get other kids and possibly even teachers sick? All so you don't have to lose a day's pay or find alternate care?

    Sorry, but a parent who does that is selfish and, as a parent of a child in daycare, they are the type of parent I pray does not have a child in DS's class.

    I am a litigation attorney and there are times I can't take off because I have a hearing or a deposition scheduled among a witness and multiple other attorneyd or, even more pressing, a trial. When I am in one of these situations, my dh has to take off. And my husband is a physician and him taking off requires him to cancel about 20 patients (and Iinconvenience them), lose all the income from those patients and still have to pay his staff. Yet, we STILL would never knowingly take our kid to daycare sick! Because we realize the world does not revolve around just us and our jobs. Sometimes being a parent means sucking it up.

    Edit: Typo.
    I totally appreciate what you are saying and I agree that bringing a sick kid to school or daycare should be avoided. Same goes for adults too. But I think the point that some people are making is not everyone has an alternate daycare provider in short notice or can skip a day of work without pay for whatever reason.

    It's inconvenient in your situation too but I'd be willing to bet a dual income family of a lawyer and MD are in a better position to make alternate arrangements than a single mom with no family making a little more than minimum wage.

    We don't have family in the area either and you can't just run out and get childcare with no notice regardless of cost. We have tried and had people stand us up more than once using care dot com and the like. We have been left in a lurch at least 4 times over the past year.

    FYI I was raised by a single Mom where money was beyond tight. She never sent me to school sick.

    No one is saying it is easy, but you send your kid to school sick and you may be getting that single Mom daycare teacher who makes minimum wage and doesn't have PTO sick...what is she supposed to do then???

    Or what about the kid who is immuno compromised? Sorry but there is no way around it. Pumping yourkid full of pills so they appear ok at drop off and leaving your sick, contagious child there to get everyone else they come into contact with sick is a douche bag thing to do. And that is why daycares have RULES against this!

    Edit:clarity
    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

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  • @ibackbevo, sorry I'm sick of the quotes so I'm not quoting.

    I totally agree with you. It's just hat for me to see things in "always" and "nevers". I also come from a single mom and my family members run in home day care. I've worked in child are a great deal too. I see it from both sides.

    I think it's disgusting when parents send their kids knowingly ill to school or daycare and don't feel responsible for caring for their child.

    I think a lot of people feel like its unfair to them like "well my kid got sick so someone sent their kid to school sick so I'm sending mine back too". I don't agree with it but I know that mentality is out there. Also, contamination happens before you know you're sick. to some extent you can't control the spread of germs with kids.

    On a separate but related note I guess my UO is that I think our society is too obsessed with antibacterial everything.

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  • I know I'm late but I just thought of my UO and I just NEED to get it out into the world!!!

    I don't get the point of pinning clothes on pinterest. Its not like those clothes magically show up in your closet. Just go to a store, try stuff on, if it looks good, get it! You don't have to pin about it! I don't understand why you have to have four different boards saying "my style" "after I lose five lbs!" "When I feel flabby"...
    In reality, you probably have two or three nice outfits and spend the rest of your days pinteresting in your plaid jammies. And, lets face it, you're never going to get those super skinny jeans with the $200 dollar boots and the perfectly slouchy hand knitted sweater with the hoop earrings and perfectly matched but not too matchy match bangle bracelets.

    CopperPoppyjenb_99pandadair[Deleted User]
  • If I hear "gender reveal" one more time I'm going to flip.  Sex is anatomical.  Gender is a societal construct.
    Just mentally change it to "genital reveal." ETA: who wants to come to my genital reveal party?
    I was just thinking about this the other day. People get really hung up on gender vs. sex, and I get it. "Gender is in your head, sex is between your legs" I went to a LBGT ally training in college and know all the about it. However, it's a word and people are silly about saying sex all the time. If you really want to get feisty about being PC, then you shouldn't even declare that you're having a boy or girl, because someday your child might not identify with that. We should all really be proclaiming "It has a PENIS!" or "It has a VAGINA!" and having "Penis or Vagina" parties.... Sounds pretty silly, huh? The thing is, I think a lot of people GET that gender and sex are different, and just don't get hung up on vocabulary because they can say gender and you will still know what they mean!
    lynseyadamsonsparklingdiamond
  • sammy.k said:
    If your kid is legit sick please for the love of God don't send them to school!! I don't want my kid to get your kids crud, and I don't want it either so please, just leave it at home and take a sick day.

    the other day I sat here at work listening to my coworkers laugh about how they medicate their sick children with tylenol so they can leave them at school or daycare, and beat the "no fevers" rule. Like "haha by the time they realize he's sick, i'll be at work!" 

    made me sad to think of those poor little peanuts feeling crappy and being bundled off to daycare for the day.

    yeah but they are the assholes because if they kept the kid home, if they were fever free the following day, they could bring them back. Now- having to pick them up, automatically bought them another day. The tylenol only lasts 4-6 hrs.
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  • My UO is I can't stand kids with no manners. I work in a school and it's sad that the minority of kids are the ones that say 'please' and 'thank you.' My DS is 3 and we've always made sure he has manners and appreciates rather than expects things. It irritates me so much that some kids want everything and simply expect things from their parents when they want, rather than appreciating material things. I'm not saying I'm a perfect mother, but I'm always so proud when random people comment to me in public how well behaved DS is and what a lovely mannered boy he is. X

    Kieran born 21.1.10

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  • I groan and roll my eyes every single time I read about how someone feels guilty about eating something on the "bad" list. Seriously, unless you ate a whole pound of soft cheese or raw fish STFU. It pisses me off that we're made to feel like bad moms if we give into a craving occasionally. If I want frozen yogurt I'm gonna have f'ing frozen yogurt and you can suck my big toe...

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