I only post on this board occasionally but I read the thread where some posters were calling another poster "sanctimonious." I hear this a lot in different conversations I hear or have with others. For example, if a person says they belief faith in Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven, others will say that is arrogant, sanctimonious, etc. But if someone really believes this to be true, and instead of sharing their beliefs they just keep them to themselves, isn't that inherently selfish? It is like if I saw a bus coming and jumped out of the way without telling others who could not see. The bus is coming, regardless of whether you believe it or not. The same logic applies to that thread. If you really believe something to be true, then you will feel compelled to speak -- otherwise your beliefs are not really that strong. So IMO, everyone who saying so-and-so is sanctimonious is basically saying that she should care less about her beliefs.
I don't think her faith was the main thing they were referring to, although I could be wrong since I apparently missed a lot of things that were going on behind the scenes.
PCOS with long, irregular cycles First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
I kind of agree with this. I think we as a society have gotten so PC and careful about not offending anyone that sometimes IRL I feel uneasy because I don't know if someone is just pretending to agree with me so they don't offend me. I'd rather be up front and honest and grow a thick skin when people tell me they disagree with me, than wonder if people are silently judging me but not saying anything to my face...
Nastiness and personal attacks are not OK. But I really believe that those things come out as a result of people previously sweeping their differences under the rug. I have a lot of experience with this IRL with my in-laws and it drives me batty. Just tell me how you really feel from the beginning, instead of letting it fester and grow to the point where it becomes this huge thing that eventually comes out (ie. the epic gift thread) in nastiness.
Nastiness and personal attacks are not OK. But I really believe that those things come out as a result of people previously sweeping their differences under the rug. I have a lot of experience with this IRL with my in-laws and it drives me batty. Just tell me how you really feel from the beginning, instead of letting it fester and grow to the point where it becomes this huge thing that eventually comes out (ie. the epic gift thread) in nastiness.
That is exactly what I felt happened in that thread. I always think it's better to just come out and say what you feel right away.
PCOS with long, irregular cycles First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
Well, you do make a valid point in sharing one's beliefs. I spent 18 months doing just that as a missionary in a country quite literally across the world from where I lived not knowing a soul other than my fellow missionaries because my religion has given me a lot of peace and understanding in a crazy world and life. I am the woman who brought up Jesus Christ in the other post because as one of His followers I find it appalling when someone says how much they love Him, follow Him, or whatnot and then their deeds do not follow it. So when I don't go off spouting how much Jesus has saved me online, it's because a) I am a shoddy example of a follower despite my best a answers b) I'd much rather let it show in how I treat others and then have THEM ask me about it and c) bringing it up in a group as diverse as this is very off-putting. And this just isn't the place for it.
As for being sanctimonious about parenting choices. Chances are that if someone is using this site and asking questions they aren't stumbling into parenthood blindly. They are trying their best to research and make informed decisions. Maybe not all, but I think we are all quite familiar with MUD. No one deserves to have their decisions criticized unless they are blatantly abusing or neglecting their child. So what if someone chooses to do the opposite of me? Are they and their child happy and healthy? Then power on! Parenting is hard enough as it is with second guessing ourselves. We don't need complete strangers implying we are screwing up.
Finally, there is a difference between sarcasm and rudeness. The problem is that it does NOT come across clearly when all we have to go off of are previous comments and writing. So maybe before saying someone would let their child eat animal droppings, consider, "how would this be taken by someone who doesn't really know me or my sense of humor?" And if you dish it, be ready to take it as well.
MBush - I'm going to be completely honest here, because at this point, what do I have to lose - Your comment calling me a bad Christian hurt the most out of everything in that thread. I honestly assumed that you were not a Christian when you made that comment, because I wouldn't expect one to say something like that to their Christian sister in such a mean-spirited way. And perhaps that's the risk we run when we don't talk about our faith in an online forum - based on your comments in that thread, I would have never known that YOU were a Christian either. Especially considering the way in which the Bible teaches us to approach our brethren that we feel aren't doing a good job representing our faith.
And FTR, I never mentioned Christ in that thread. You were the one who invoked His name. I mentioned that faith can be tied to many lifestyle choices, but I was speaking very generally. Please go back and read what I wrote. So for someone who is pointing fingers and saying that all I do is talk about Christ without following it up with action, I find that APPALLING coming from a fellow Christian. What gives you the right to judge your fellow Christian in such a legalistic way? You don't know me. Just because I'm not boasting about the missions work that I have done here doesn't mean that I haven't done any or aren't also currently involved in any/
I feel like I have been very careful not to "offend" people with my faith here. I've learned that lesson from interactions with others on TB in the past. People here have asked me questions about my faith before (for example, my headcovering) and I have taken the time to explain it and I have participated in the short-lived Bible study we did here, but other than that, I don't feel like I am in any way "spouting off about how Jesus saved me" here.
I think that post was telling. You have obviously been harboring resentment towards me over the dog poop comment for a while (it's even more apparent here as you brought it up again). You saw a chance to pounce since others were doing the same thing. In the future, as a sister in Christ, I would appreciate you telling me if I upset you when it actually happens so I can learn not to offend you in the same way again. I had absolutely no idea you were upset about that comment, so how would I have known how to avoid upsetting others in the same way? It seems like holding onto anger and then letting it out in anger in the middle of a pile-on isn't the most loving or effective way to help a sister in Christ.
I'm even more put-off by your implications in this post than I was in the other. How dare you?
I have to agree with adamwife here. I am also a follower of Christ, and MBush, I never would have assumed you were as well by the way you personally attacked adamwife. That's actually very troubling to me. And once again, I never thought anything she said came off as criticizing and implying that anyone is screwing up. If you (or anyone) didn't like something she said, you should have spoken up at the time instead of harboring resentment.
I'm just kind of shocked right now. I thought adamwife's deeds, on this forum anyway, reflected her belief in Christ better than the average Christian's. She never tried to shove her beliefs down anyone's throats or spouted off about her faith unless someone asked her a specific question.
Also, I find it off-putting that you would say this isn't the place for talking about our beliefs. Shouldn't we, as followers of Christ, be talking about it everywhere? I agree that we must be very careful about what we say and how we say it on an internet forum, but to completely ignore that important part of us just because we're afraid of offending someone else online is pretty much the opposite of what the Bible teaches.
PCOS with long, irregular cycles First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
I have to agree with adamwife here. I am also a follower of Christ, and MBush, I never would have assumed you were as well by the way you personally attacked adamwife. That's actually very troubling to me. And once again, I never thought anything she said came off as criticizing and implying that anyone is screwing up. If you (or anyone) didn't like something she said, you should have spoken up at the time instead of harboring resentment.
I'm just kind of shocked right now. I thought adamwife's deeds, on this forum anyway, reflected her belief in Christ better than the average Christian's. She never tried to shove her beliefs down anyone's throats or spouted off about her faith unless someone asked her a specific question.
Also, I find it off-putting that you would say this isn't the place for talking about our beliefs. Shouldn't we, as followers of Christ, be talking about it everywhere? I agree that we must be very careful about what we say and how we say it on an internet forum, but to completely ignore that important part of us just because we're afraid of offending someone else online is pretty much the opposite of what the Bible teaches.
Not directed at anyone in particular, but just speaking to actions vs. words - on of my favorite quotes is:
"Going to church makes you a Christian in the same way standing in a garage makes you a car" I personally am Catholic, but I have met a LOT of people of all faiths who this applies to. I find those that boast the most about their faith aren't the best people I've met. Just my somewhat related two cents.
Boasting about your faith is much different than using it to explain your beliefs or the reason behind the way you do things the way you do, which is all I've ever seen happen here and is all I was referring to in my post.
PCOS with long, irregular cycles First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
The thing is that there are plenty of women who have felt sanctimommied by you Adamwife. But because you have a steady group of fans they don't feel comfortable disagreeing with you because if you don't say something, one of them will.
As for the Christianity thing, I honestly could not care less concerning your assessment of me. I do not subscribe to your particular brand of Christianity nor do you to mine. I do, however, feel upset when I see someone claim it online and then be rude. Thus the only time I've mentioned it here is in this thread. I'd hate to offend and have my name attached with His in that person's eyes. Yes, I realize that I am now the pot calling the kettle black, but, as you mentioned earlier, what do I have to lose here? The fact of the matter is that I come on this board less and less unless a friend points out an interesting thread. Between school, work, church, my marriage, and my child I don't have the time to update a blog, much less come here to pontificate and feel like I'm a better mom.
@PeanutR1, I see what you're saying Thanks, I didn't necessarily think you were referring to my post but I just wanted to clarify a bit.
@MBush4, I really would like some more clarification from you on adamwife's so-called "fans." I see disagreement with her on her parenting practices and beliefs far more often than agreement. I myself disagree with a lot of the ways she does things. I honestly have no idea what fan club you're talking about.
PCOS with long, irregular cycles First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
PS, kleigh, I find you to be one of adamwife's biggest fans. It's precious really.
That's pretty hilarious, considering I have openly disagreed with her many times, the most recently being the flu shot thread. I could go on and on about the things I disagree with her on, however, I'm a decent human being and don't think that personally attacking someone is necessary. I think one of the only things we have in common is our faith. If that makes me part of her imaginary fan club, then so be it.
PCOS with long, irregular cycles First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
MBush - Going back and forth about this is ridiculous with you, but I hope that your last little jab at me made you feel good about yourself. I'm sure you never do anything for entertainment since you're so busy. You probably never watch movies or TV or browse the internet or write in a journal. My online blog is a way that I document my children's learning, as is required by the state in homeschooling. Perhaps you spend your evenings watching videos or reading books or doing something else for entertainment to escape the busy life you just described. Writing on my blogs is one of the ways I do that. I pity you if you do not have an outlet for entertainment. I also pity you that you feel the need to imply that there is something wrong with me keeping a blog. We all have the same 24 hours in the day, perhaps you need to find a way to be more efficient with your time if you can't fathom finding any to do things for yourself. If keeping a blog is something important to you, which it probably is since you felt the need to mention it in your post about things you don't have time for, maybe doing it in the evening in lieu of other forms of entertainment would help you.
And I wasn't aware that there are different brands of Christianity. I thought either you're Christian or not....
kleigh - I was just going to mention that flu shot post. According to these people we should both feel offended that we were preaching to one another about what we believe. It's amazing that we're still able to have a civil conversation without inferring that either of us are terrible mothers.
I agree with @musicalmama5 on the PC point. But what I really think is many have stopped offering their true opinions out of fear of being attacked than out of respect for people who don't agree.
I lived in a place for four years where what I believed was constantly attacked. It was a very liberal area and I am a fairly conservative person. I don't hate or even dislike people with opposing views to mine, but I very much felt hated my the community there. In fact, I didn't talk about my conservative opinions or my faith for two years, and then only to people who I trusted and who had a chance to get to know me before quickly judging that I was "an idiot" for not agreeing with their political or religious points of view. It was a horrible four years and I eventually asked/made my husband transfer offices so we could move. We both are a lot happier now.
My point is this: we have to start being okay with people who don't agree with us. It's not a personal attack when someone has a different view. Likewise, we can't get on these threads and start spouting off on what someone is or isn't because of one belief or a couple of opinions. It's not fair. Say what you feel is right for you and your family and leave it at that. Try to see others' points, even if you still don't agree in the end. Open-mindedness is not being liberal; it is fairly considering other points of view and either coming to an agreement or respectfully disagreeing, whatever that point of view is - plastic toys, BFing, religious beliefs, what kind of car you buy, etc. I don't share a lot of my faith opinions here but I don't think any less of anyone who does, whatever those opinions or faiths are. If you want to know, PM me and I'm more than happy to share (but I really don't think anyone cares, lol).
kleigh - I was just going to mention that flu shot post. According to these people we should both feel offended that we were preaching to one another about what we believe. It's amazing that we're still able to have a civil conversation without inferring that either of us are terrible mothers.
Haha. Yes, truly amazing.
Well, it's been interesting to see some people's true colors come out. I think I'm about done with all of this, I've said my piece and going on and on about it is beating a dead horse IMO.
PCOS with long, irregular cycles First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
Yeah, kleigh, we probably shouldn't be wasting our energy here, right? Someone might accuse us of neglecting our children or husbands.....oh wait, they already did. lol
No need to call CPS, anyone. I'm working today, so the kids are taken care of. If I'm neglecting anything it's my job, so I better get back to it.
I'm staying out of the religion portion but the sanctimommy came in because some people have opinions of what is best or "correct" when raising a child. Definition - sactimommy is a portmanteau of two words, sanctimonious and mommy. The word is a colloquialism used to refer to a person, usually a female, who has very opinionated views on child rearing and presents them upfront without any sense of humility.
We all have a little sanctimommy in us. But when someone shoves those opinions in someone's face as the "correct" way to do things then it really makes you a sanctimommy. This is just my take on it.
Ex- Breastfeeding. Yes we understand "breast is best" is a big saying now. Doesn't mean it's best for everyone. And for the love of god stop telling people to "just put breast milk on it". If my child has pink eye, breast milk isn't an option for us.
Plastic toys. I get that this is a moral issue in some families and they don't believe in it. That's fine if it works for you. But by telling people they should teach others about the harm of plastics and child labor kind of makes it seem like you're looking down on those who choose to use them. If they ask for the opinion go for it but otherwise it makes you sanctimommy. You can use your wooden toothbrushes and makeshift tampons all you want - will I think it's a bit much? Maybe. But who cares? Just don't make me feel bad fr using "junky cheap plastic toys" as if I'm ruining my child's brain.
Baby food. I remember posting that my pedi recommended rice cereal at 4 months and I got responses such as "you must not have read that its not supposed to be given to a child before 6 months" and "you realize it contains arsenic right?!". I didn't ask for opinions and while anyone is welcome to give them, no need to jump on people who fed solids before 6 months. It's a way to make people feel bad for their choices.
So while judgement is going to happen between mothers - sanctimommy is what you're called if you give your opinion while sounding like you're passing judgement. And especially giving your opinion when not asked.
PP, if you are not interested in other people's opinion about feeding your baby rice cereal, then why did you post about it? Posting itself implies you are interested in other people's opinions -- otherwise what is the pointing of posting? It is not the same as someone seeing you feeding your 4 month old and approaching you about it.
I agree with @musicalmama5 on the PC point. But what I really think is many have stopped offering their true opinions out of fear of being attacked than out of respect for people who don't agree.
I lived in a place for four years where what I believed was constantly attacked. It was a very liberal area and I am a fairly conservative person. I don't hate or even dislike people with opposing views to mine, but I very much felt hated my the community there. In fact, I didn't talk about my conservative opinions or my faith for two years, and then only to people who I trusted and who had a chance to get to know me before quickly judging that I was "an idiot" for not agreeing with their political or religious points of view. It was a horrible four years and I eventually asked/made my husband transfer offices so we could move. We both are a lot happier now.
My point is this: we have to start being okay with people who don't agree with us. It's not a personal attack when someone has a different view. Likewise, we can't get on these threads and start spouting off on what someone is or isn't because of one belief or a couple of opinions. It's not fair. Say what you feel is right for you and your family and leave it at that. Try to see others' points, even if you still don't agree in the end. Open-mindedness is not being liberal; it is fairly considering other points of view and either coming to an agreement or respectfully disagreeing, whatever that point of view is - plastic toys, BFing, religious beliefs, what kind of car you buy, etc. I don't share a lot of my faith opinions here but I don't think any less of anyone who does, whatever those opinions or faiths are. If you want to know, PM me and I'm more than happy to share (but I really don't think anyone cares, lol).
I find it really offensive that you are once again slamming where I live and grew up. You clearly know NOTHING about this community if you feel like your beliefs were so attacked. I can personally tell you that there are plenty conservative, religious people here.
PP, if you are not interested in other people's opinion about feeding your baby rice cereal, then why did you post about it? Posting itself implies you are interested in other people's opinions -- otherwise what is the pointing of posting? It is not the same as someone seeing you feeding your 4 month old and approaching you about it.
I may have been the one to comment on the possibility of arsenic in rice cereal (consumer reports). I am a researching nerd and I still let my baby sleep on my lap at times (giving me WAY too much to read up on stuff) so when I post stuff like that, it's just so you can know the highlights of what I found out. I usually appreciate it when people share tidbits with me so I can go look stuff up and be as informed as possible but I appologize if it came out judge-y. It wasn't meant as such.
PP, if you are not interested in other people's opinion about feeding your baby rice cereal, then why did you post about it? Posting itself implies you are interested in other people's opinions -- otherwise what is the pointing of posting? It is not the same as someone seeing you feeding your 4 month old and approaching you about it.
I made a reply not a post, sorry. But it was to someone who asked about if anyone had started rice cereal. I replied saying my pedi recommended it at 4 months. I actually didn't feed it to my boys then but got immediate responses about how I "must not have read (insert link about no solids until 6 months)." To me that is being preachy but maybe it's just me. I'm all for opinions and differing ones too. As long as it isn't shaming someone in the process. As for the arsenic one, that didn't really bother me as much because it was informative. I don't remember how it was worded exactly but I don't believe it was worded in a way to shame others.
I agree with @musicalmama5 on the PC point. But what I really think is many have stopped offering their true opinions out of fear of being attacked than out of respect for people who don't agree.
I lived in a place for four years where what I believed was constantly attacked. It was a very liberal area and I am a fairly conservative person. I don't hate or even dislike people with opposing views to mine, but I very much felt hated my the community there. In fact, I didn't talk about my conservative opinions or my faith for two years, and then only to people who I trusted and who had a chance to get to know me before quickly judging that I was "an idiot" for not agreeing with their political or religious points of view. It was a horrible four years and I eventually asked/made my husband transfer offices so we could move. We both are a lot happier now.
My point is this: we have to start being okay with people who don't agree with us. It's not a personal attack when someone has a different view. Likewise, we can't get on these threads and start spouting off on what someone is or isn't because of one belief or a couple of opinions. It's not fair. Say what you feel is right for you and your family and leave it at that. Try to see others' points, even if you still don't agree in the end. Open-mindedness is not being liberal; it is fairly considering other points of view and either coming to an agreement or respectfully disagreeing, whatever that point of view is - plastic toys, BFing, religious beliefs, what kind of car you buy, etc. I don't share a lot of my faith opinions here but I don't think any less of anyone who does, whatever those opinions or faiths are. If you want to know, PM me and I'm more than happy to share (but I really don't think anyone cares, lol).
I find it really offensive that you are once again slamming where I live and grew up. You clearly know NOTHING about this community if you feel like your beliefs were so attacked. I can personally tell you that there are plenty conservative, religious people here.
I'm not slamming anyone, nor have I yet. In fact, I've gone out of my way to say that there are lots of great people there, that a lot of people like it there, and that it simply wasn't for me. My beliefs were attacked on a daily basis to my face. You'll have to take my word for it (or don't, whatever floats your boat). I'm sure you are a nice person. I don't mean to offend. I'll say again: It wasn't the right place for me. It is the right place for a lot of people. Nice people. Religious people. Non-religious people. Even a few conservative people. But not for me, for the reasons I listed and stand by. I'm glad you enjoy it there. Have brunch at Half Day for me sometime; that place was awesome.
MBush - Going back and forth about this is ridiculous with you, but I hope that your last little jab at me made you feel good about yourself. I'm sure you never do anything for entertainment since you're so busy. You probably never watch movies or TV or browse the internet or write in a journal. My online blog is a way that I document my children's learning, as is required by the state in homeschooling. Perhaps you spend your evenings watching videos or reading books or doing something else for entertainment to escape the busy life you just described. Writing on my blogs is one of the ways I do that. I pity you if you do not have an outlet for entertainment. I also pity you that you feel the need to imply that there is something wrong with me keeping a blog. We all have the same 24 hours in the day, perhaps you need to find a way to be more efficient with your time if you can't fathom finding any to do things for yourself. If keeping a blog is something important to you, which it probably is since you felt the need to mention it in your post about things you don't have time for, maybe doing it in the evening in lieu of other forms of entertainment would help you.
And I wasn't aware that there are different brands of Christianity. I thought either you're Christian or not....
I think the fact that you continue to put MBush down after knowing you have already offended her once (if not more) speaks volumes of your character or lack there of. You are coming off as very self righteous and definitely sanctimonious and it is distasteful that you spew words like venom yet claim to be a Christian.
I can name a few different "brands of Christians... Lutheran, Methodists, Baptists, Presbyterian, Mormons, Pentecostal, Apostolics, Charismatic, some Catholics. I have met at least one person from each "brand" or the correct term "denomination" who calls themself a Christian.
MBush - Going back and forth about this is ridiculous with you, but I hope that your last little jab at me made you feel good about yourself. I'm sure you never do anything for entertainment since you're so busy. You probably never watch movies or TV or browse the internet or write in a journal. My online blog is a way that I document my children's learning, as is required by the state in homeschooling. Perhaps you spend your evenings watching videos or reading books or doing something else for entertainment to escape the busy life you just described. Writing on my blogs is one of the ways I do that. I pity you if you do not have an outlet for entertainment. I also pity you that you feel the need to imply that there is something wrong with me keeping a blog. We all have the same 24 hours in the day, perhaps you need to find a way to be more efficient with your time if you can't fathom finding any to do things for yourself. If keeping a blog is something important to you, which it probably is since you felt the need to mention it in your post about things you don't have time for, maybe doing it in the evening in lieu of other forms of entertainment would help you.
And I wasn't aware that there are different brands of Christianity. I thought either you're Christian or not....
I think the fact that you continue to put MBush down after knowing you have already offended her once (if not more) speaks volumes of your character or lack there of. You are coming off as very self righteous and definitely sanctimonious and it is distasteful that you spew words like venom yet claim to be a Christian.
I can name a few different "brands of Christians... Lutheran, Methodists, Baptists, Presbyterian, Mormons, Pentecostal, Apostolics, Charismatic, some Catholics. I have met at least one person from each "brand" or the correct term "denomination" who calls themself a Christian.
Mmmm hmmmm. You have quite the gift, as you're obviously able to judge character through the internet. Is this that enlightenment you were talking about in the other thread shining through?
Do you have the same criticism for MBush or just for me today? For any of the other Christians "spewing words like venom"? Or are just my words venomous and worthy of your character analysis here? And while you're at it, explain to me what words I said that were venomous and hateful? Where was I calling names and saying hateful things in response to the names and hateful things directed at me?
Despite being from different denominations, the Bible clearly tells us we are One Church, correct? Listen, I really don't want to debate theology with you here.
@adamsabigail, you can't be serious. MBush said some of the most offensive things I've ever seen on TB. You expect adamwife to just sit back and take it without defending herself? Even Jesus had righteous anger in the Bible. Being a Christian doesn't mean you just accept everyone's mean, hateful words.
I don't even know why I took the time to respond, since you probably won't take anything an adamwife fan club member said seriously. 8-|
PCOS with long, irregular cycles First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
MBush - Going back and forth about this is ridiculous with you, but I hope that your last little jab at me made you feel good about yourself. I'm sure you never do anything for entertainment since you're so busy. You probably never watch movies or TV or browse the internet or write in a journal. My online blog is a way that I document my children's learning, as is required by the state in homeschooling. Perhaps you spend your evenings watching videos or reading books or doing something else for entertainment to escape the busy life you just described. Writing on my blogs is one of the ways I do that. I pity you if you do not have an outlet for entertainment. I also pity you that you feel the need to imply that there is something wrong with me keeping a blog. We all have the same 24 hours in the day, perhaps you need to find a way to be more efficient with your time if you can't fathom finding any to do things for yourself. If keeping a blog is something important to you, which it probably is since you felt the need to mention it in your post about things you don't have time for, maybe doing it in the evening in lieu of other forms of entertainment would help you.
And I wasn't aware that there are different brands of Christianity. I thought either you're Christian or not....
I think the fact that you continue to put MBush down after knowing you have already offended her once (if not more) speaks volumes of your character or lack there of. You are coming off as very self righteous and definitely sanctimonious and it is distasteful that you spew words like venom yet claim to be a Christian.
I can name a few different "brands of Christians... Lutheran, Methodists, Baptists, Presbyterian, Mormons, Pentecostal, Apostolics, Charismatic, some Catholics. I have met at least one person from each "brand" or the correct term "denomination" who calls themself a Christian.
Mmmm hmmmm. You have quite the gift, as you're obviously able to judge character through the internet. Is this that enlightenment you were talking about in the other thread shining through?
Do you have the same criticism for MBush or just for me today? For any of the other Christians "spewing words like venom"? Or are just my words venomous and worthy of your character analysis here? And while you're at it, explain to me what words I said that were venomous and hateful? Where was I calling names and saying hateful things in response to the names and hateful things directed at me?
Despite being from different denominations, the Bible clearly tells us we are One Church, correct? Listen, I really don't want to debate theology with you here.
I don't want to debate theology here either it is definitely a topic that could offend many. This is not the place for it. I honestly cannot answer as to your character that is why I said "you are coming off as" not that you ARE. Do you see what I'm saying? Sorry that I point you out specifically but the way I see it is you are the original offender. Sure maybe the offended could have "turned the other cheek" but I'm not sure that I would either.
I'm the original offender, so that's why it's OK to point me out and not others? I get it. And actually, you said that my actions here speak volumes about my character or lack thereof. Maybe that isn't what you meant to say, but that means to me that you have made a judgment about my character (or lack thereof).
For Pete's sake. Done. This is so silly.
Let's just face it - we're all judgmental and we're all hypocrites and we're all sanctimonious when we're passionate about something. We're all also human and tend to get defensive when attacked, whether we're the "original offender" or not. Why on earth we get worked up over the words of internet strangers, I have no idea, but I'm obviously guilty too. I've already wasted enough time and energy over this today talking around in circles and defending myself to people that I shouldn't worry about defending myself to. I'm going to bow out and let this die off. Continue as you wish.
I'm the original offender, so that's why it's OK to point me out and not others? I get it. And actually, you said that my actions here speak volumes about my character or lack thereof. Maybe that isn't what you meant to say, but that means to me that you have made a judgment about my character (or lack thereof).
For Pete's sake. Done. This is so silly.
Let's just face it - we're all judgmental and we're all hypocrites and we're all sanctimonious when we're passionate about something. We're all also human and tend to get defensive when attacked, whether we're the "original offender" or not. Why on earth we get worked up over the words of internet strangers, I have no idea, but I'm obviously guilty too. I've already wasted enough time and energy over this today talking around in circles and defending myself to people that I shouldn't worry about defending myself to. I'm going to bow out and let this die off. Continue as you wish.
I 100% contributed to the depth and breadth of the gift thread and while I feel I made my points and quoted a few members to illustrate them, I hope my posts did not come across as too personally vicious. Haaaaaving said that, and to quote @+adamwife+ for new intents and purposes, I concur. Has anyone heard the theme song to the film The Never Ending Story? Because I seriously started singing it out loud after following this continuous cycle.
'It's the never ending stooooooryyyyy....dadada, dadada, dadada....."
She's sticking around. You probably are, too. I am. Let's do this. About something else....lol.
Thanks, @DublinMama. Now that song is stuck in my head. But not even the version from the movie, the New Found Glory cover of it. Now I'm simultaneously experiencing nostalgia for my childhood AND high school. :-p
MBush - Going back and forth about this is ridiculous with you, but I hope that your last little jab at me made you feel good about yourself. I'm sure you never do anything for entertainment since you're so busy. You probably never watch movies or TV or browse the internet or write in a journal. My online blog is a way that I document my children's learning, as is required by the state in homeschooling. Perhaps you spend your evenings watching videos or reading books or doing something else for entertainment to escape the busy life you just described. Writing on my blogs is one of the ways I do that. I pity you if you do not have an outlet for entertainment. I also pity you that you feel the need to imply that there is something wrong with me keeping a blog. We all have the same 24 hours in the day, perhaps you need to find a way to be more efficient with your time if you can't fathom finding any to do things for yourself. If keeping a blog is something important to you, which it probably is since you felt the need to mention it in your post about things you don't have time for, maybe doing it in the evening in lieu of other forms of entertainment would help you.
And I wasn't aware that there are different brands of Christianity. I thought either you're Christian or not....
I think the fact that you continue to put MBush down after knowing you have already offended her once (if not more) speaks volumes of your character or lack there of. You are coming off as very self righteous and definitely sanctimonious and it is distasteful that you spew words like venom yet claim to be a Christian.
I can name a few different "brands of Christians... Lutheran, Methodists, Baptists, Presbyterian, Mormons, Pentecostal, Apostolics, Charismatic, some Catholics. I have met at least one person from each "brand" or the correct term "denomination" who calls themself a Christian.
I have not been following all of this, but writing "claim to be a Christian" is really ridiculous in this context. She is obviously a believer by the way she has treated people here. I have been on this board for 17 months now and have read a lot more than I have posted....if someone is reading her coming across as self-righteous then I think that has more to do with personal insecurities than anything she has said. There is no reason to choose to be offended.
We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013. We love her to pieces.
We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011. She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.
MBush - Going back and forth about this is ridiculous with you, but I hope that your last little jab at me made you feel good about yourself. I'm sure you never do anything for entertainment since you're so busy. You probably never watch movies or TV or browse the internet or write in a journal. My online blog is a way that I document my children's learning, as is required by the state in homeschooling. Perhaps you spend your evenings watching videos or reading books or doing something else for entertainment to escape the busy life you just described. Writing on my blogs is one of the ways I do that. I pity you if you do not have an outlet for entertainment. I also pity you that you feel the need to imply that there is something wrong with me keeping a blog. We all have the same 24 hours in the day, perhaps you need to find a way to be more efficient with your time if you can't fathom finding any to do things for yourself. If keeping a blog is something important to you, which it probably is since you felt the need to mention it in your post about things you don't have time for, maybe doing it in the evening in lieu of other forms of entertainment would help you.
And I wasn't aware that there are different brands of Christianity. I thought either you're Christian or not....
I think the fact that you continue to put MBush down after knowing you have already offended her once (if not more) speaks volumes of your character or lack there of. You are coming off as very self righteous and definitely sanctimonious and it is distasteful that you spew words like venom yet claim to be a Christian.
I can name a few different "brands of Christians... Lutheran, Methodists, Baptists, Presbyterian, Mormons, Pentecostal, Apostolics, Charismatic, some Catholics. I have met at least one person from each "brand" or the correct term "denomination" who calls themself a Christian.
So, explain to me how Mbush's behaviour has been any better? And with that being said, why should anyone have to walk on eggshells around here because her feelings got hurt. Again, there was an apology made, and attacks continued to fly. I would say after she apologized, and it wasn't accepted and she was continually attacked, she has a right to defend herself. Not curl up in a corner and cover her head while everybody continues to kick her.
Re: on being sanctimonious
First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013
BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013
BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
As for being sanctimonious about parenting choices. Chances are that if someone is using this site and asking questions they aren't stumbling into parenthood blindly. They are trying their best to research and make informed decisions. Maybe not all, but I think we are all quite familiar with MUD. No one deserves to have their decisions criticized unless they are blatantly abusing or neglecting their child. So what if someone chooses to do the opposite of me? Are they and their child happy and healthy? Then power on! Parenting is hard enough as it is with second guessing ourselves. We don't need complete strangers implying we are screwing up.
Finally, there is a difference between sarcasm and rudeness. The problem is that it does NOT come across clearly when all we have to go off of are previous comments and writing. So maybe before saying someone would let their child eat animal droppings, consider, "how would this be taken by someone who doesn't really know me or my sense of humor?" And if you dish it, be ready to take it as well.
And FTR, I never mentioned Christ in that thread. You were the one who invoked His name. I mentioned that faith can be tied to many lifestyle choices, but I was speaking very generally. Please go back and read what I wrote. So for someone who is pointing fingers and saying that all I do is talk about Christ without following it up with action, I find that APPALLING coming from a fellow Christian. What gives you the right to judge your fellow Christian in such a legalistic way? You don't know me. Just because I'm not boasting about the missions work that I have done here doesn't mean that I haven't done any or aren't also currently involved in any/
I feel like I have been very careful not to "offend" people with my faith here. I've learned that lesson from interactions with others on TB in the past. People here have asked me questions about my faith before (for example, my headcovering) and I have taken the time to explain it and I have participated in the short-lived Bible study we did here, but other than that, I don't feel like I am in any way "spouting off about how Jesus saved me" here.
I think that post was telling. You have obviously been harboring resentment towards me over the dog poop comment for a while (it's even more apparent here as you brought it up again). You saw a chance to pounce since others were doing the same thing. In the future, as a sister in Christ, I would appreciate you telling me if I upset you when it actually happens so I can learn not to offend you in the same way again. I had absolutely no idea you were upset about that comment, so how would I have known how to avoid upsetting others in the same way? It seems like holding onto anger and then letting it out in anger in the middle of a pile-on isn't the most loving or effective way to help a sister in Christ.
I'm even more put-off by your implications in this post than I was in the other. How dare you?
I'm just kind of shocked right now. I thought adamwife's deeds, on this forum anyway, reflected her belief in Christ better than the average Christian's. She never tried to shove her beliefs down anyone's throats or spouted off about her faith unless someone asked her a specific question.
Also, I find it off-putting that you would say this isn't the place for talking about our beliefs. Shouldn't we, as followers of Christ, be talking about it everywhere? I agree that we must be very careful about what we say and how we say it on an internet forum, but to completely ignore that important part of us just because we're afraid of offending someone else online is pretty much the opposite of what the Bible teaches.
First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013
BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013
BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
As for the Christianity thing, I honestly could not care less concerning your assessment of me. I do not subscribe to your particular brand of Christianity nor do you to mine. I do, however, feel upset when I see someone claim it online and then be rude. Thus the only time I've mentioned it here is in this thread. I'd hate to offend and have my name attached with His in that person's eyes. Yes, I realize that I am now the pot calling the kettle black, but, as you mentioned earlier, what do I have to lose here? The fact of the matter is that I come on this board less and less unless a friend points out an interesting thread. Between school, work, church, my marriage, and my child I don't have the time to update a blog, much less come here to pontificate and feel like I'm a better mom.
@MBush4, I really would like some more clarification from you on adamwife's so-called "fans." I see disagreement with her on her parenting practices and beliefs far more often than agreement. I myself disagree with a lot of the ways she does things. I honestly have no idea what fan club you're talking about.
First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013
BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013
BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
And I wasn't aware that there are different brands of Christianity. I thought either you're Christian or not....
LOL...we are feisty this week.
I agree with @musicalmama5 on the PC point. But what I really think is many have stopped offering their true opinions out of fear of being attacked than out of respect for people who don't agree.
I lived in a place for four years where what I believed was constantly attacked. It was a very liberal area and I am a fairly conservative person. I don't hate or even dislike people with opposing views to mine, but I very much felt hated my the community there. In fact, I didn't talk about my conservative opinions or my faith for two years, and then only to people who I trusted and who had a chance to get to know me before quickly judging that I was "an idiot" for not agreeing with their political or religious points of view. It was a horrible four years and I eventually asked/made my husband transfer offices so we could move. We both are a lot happier now.
My point is this: we have to start being okay with people who don't agree with us. It's not a personal attack when someone has a different view. Likewise, we can't get on these threads and start spouting off on what someone is or isn't because of one belief or a couple of opinions. It's not fair. Say what you feel is right for you and your family and leave it at that. Try to see others' points, even if you still don't agree in the end. Open-mindedness is not being liberal; it is fairly considering other points of view and either coming to an agreement or respectfully disagreeing, whatever that point of view is - plastic toys, BFing, religious beliefs, what kind of car you buy, etc. I don't share a lot of my faith opinions here but I don't think any less of anyone who does, whatever those opinions or faiths are. If you want to know, PM me and I'm more than happy to share (but I really don't think anyone cares, lol).
Well, it's been interesting to see some people's true colors come out. I think I'm about done with all of this, I've said my piece and going on and on about it is beating a dead horse IMO.
First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013
BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
No need to call CPS, anyone. I'm working today, so the kids are taken care of. If I'm neglecting anything it's my job, so I better get back to it.
Definition - sactimommy is a portmanteau of two words, sanctimonious and mommy. The word is a colloquialism used to refer to a person, usually a female, who has very opinionated views on child rearing and presents them upfront without any sense of humility.
We all have a little sanctimommy in us. But when someone shoves those opinions in someone's face as the "correct" way to do things then it really makes you a sanctimommy. This is just my take on it.
Ex-
Breastfeeding. Yes we understand "breast is best" is a big saying now. Doesn't mean it's best for everyone. And for the love of god stop telling people to "just put breast milk on it". If my child has pink eye, breast milk isn't an option for us.
Plastic toys. I get that this is a moral issue in some families and they don't believe in it. That's fine if it works for you. But by telling people they should teach others about the harm of plastics and child labor kind of makes it seem like you're looking down on those who choose to use them. If they ask for the opinion go for it but otherwise it makes you sanctimommy. You can use your wooden toothbrushes and makeshift tampons all you want - will I think it's a bit much? Maybe. But who cares? Just don't make me feel bad fr using "junky cheap plastic toys" as if I'm ruining my child's brain.
Baby food. I remember posting that my pedi recommended rice cereal at 4 months and I got responses such as "you must not have read that its not supposed to be given to a child before 6 months" and "you realize it contains arsenic right?!". I didn't ask for opinions and while anyone is welcome to give them, no need to jump on people who fed solids before 6 months. It's a way to make people feel bad for their choices.
So while judgement is going to happen between mothers - sanctimommy is what you're called if you give your opinion while sounding like you're passing judgement. And especially giving your opinion when not asked.
I may have been the one to comment on the possibility of arsenic in rice cereal (consumer reports). I am a researching nerd and I still let my baby sleep on my lap at times (giving me WAY too much to read up on stuff) so when I post stuff like that, it's just so you can know the highlights of what I found out. I usually appreciate it when people share tidbits with me so I can go look stuff up and be as informed as possible but I appologize if it came out judge-y. It wasn't meant as such.
I'm all for opinions and differing ones too. As long as it isn't shaming someone in the process.
As for the arsenic one, that didn't really bother me as much because it was informative. I don't remember how it was worded exactly but I don't believe it was worded in a way to shame others.
I can name a few different "brands of Christians... Lutheran, Methodists, Baptists, Presbyterian, Mormons, Pentecostal, Apostolics, Charismatic, some Catholics. I have met at least one person from each "brand" or the correct term "denomination" who calls themself a Christian.
Do you have the same criticism for MBush or just for me today? For any of the other Christians "spewing words like venom"? Or are just my words venomous and worthy of your character analysis here? And while you're at it, explain to me what words I said that were venomous and hateful? Where was I calling names and saying hateful things in response to the names and hateful things directed at me?
Despite being from different denominations, the Bible clearly tells us we are One Church, correct? Listen, I really don't want to debate theology with you here.
I don't even know why I took the time to respond, since you probably won't take anything an adamwife fan club member said seriously. 8-|
First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013
BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
Do you have the same criticism for MBush or just for me today? For any of the other Christians "spewing words like venom"? Or are just my words venomous and worthy of your character analysis here? And while you're at it, explain to me what words I said that were venomous and hateful? Where was I calling names and saying hateful things in response to the names and hateful things directed at me?
Despite being from different denominations, the Bible clearly tells
us we are One Church, correct? Listen, I really don't want to debate theology with you here.
I don't want to debate theology here either it is definitely a topic that could offend many. This is not the place for it.
I honestly cannot answer as to your character that is why I said "you are coming off as" not that you ARE. Do you see what I'm saying? Sorry that I point you out specifically but the way I see it is you are the original offender. Sure maybe the offended could have "turned the other cheek" but I'm not sure that I would either.
For Pete's sake. Done. This is so silly.
Let's just face it - we're all judgmental and we're all hypocrites and we're all sanctimonious when we're passionate about something. We're all also human and tend to get defensive when attacked, whether we're the "original offender" or not. Why on earth we get worked up over the words of internet strangers, I have no idea, but I'm obviously guilty too. I've already wasted enough time and energy over this today talking around in circles and defending myself to people that I shouldn't worry about defending myself to. I'm going to bow out and let this die off. Continue as you wish.
'It's the never ending stooooooryyyyy....dadada, dadada, dadada....."
She's sticking around. You probably are, too. I am. Let's do this. About something else....lol.
Edited for spelling.
We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013. We love her to pieces.
We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011. She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.
So, explain to me how Mbush's behaviour has been any better? And with that being said, why should anyone have to walk on eggshells around here because her feelings got hurt. Again, there was an apology made, and attacks continued to fly. I would say after she apologized, and it wasn't accepted and she was continually attacked, she has a right to defend herself. Not curl up in a corner and cover her head while everybody continues to kick her.
DS born: February 2013
TTC #2: Nov. 14
Chemical pregnancy 09/16/15
BFP: 12/25/15 EDD: 09/04/16