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October 2012 Moms
Mrs.G123
member
Moms of 4 yo
Mrs.G123
member
Tell me about your 4 yo. Does he/she push your buttons All. Day. Long? Any tips for 4?
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Re: Moms of 4 yo
DD1 has always been a challenging, strong willed child, from birth, seriously. But for some reason age 3-3.5 was HELLISH and now she is one month shy of 4 and again is testing my sanity. I am certainly not basking in success, but I have found that presenting a choice and leaving her alone to decide has worked a little bit for her. A lot of times when I give her choices she just adds in her own choice that was not an option to begin with and a whine fest, freak out, or argument ensues when I remind her that her suggestion was not one of the choices I gave her.
Now I give her the choice and if she doesnt decide immediately I tell her the choice again, and I move on and do something else, leave the room, tend to the baby etc. For some reason feeling like she doesnt have to pick RIGHT NOW with me watching her and waiting and rushing her, seems to work for her. I dont get it, but Im going with it!
If you can get her to stop peeing the bed at night, Ill swap you advice! In the meantime, know that you are not alone. I hear 3 and 4 are TOUGH ages so hopefully we'll all come out alive in time for kindergarten!
Wine? A bedroom door with a lock on it?
Seriously though, DS1 drove me insane from about 4 to well, he's still driving me insane at almost 8. I think they just realize that pushing your buttons gets a reaction and then that's all they want to do.
One thing that did help at that age for us was to give him choices whenever we could. So literally all day long I'd be like "Do you want me to use the red washcloth or the blue washcloth to wash your face?" "Do you want to eat your chicken with BBQ sauce or ketchup?" "Do you want to put away your toys in silence or while we sing twinkle twinkle little star?"
That way he had some control over his day (and what I was doing). He still did things that he knew aggravated me, but it was less often since he was getting to make some choices. And tricky tricky me, I was still getting him to have his face washed/eat chicken/clean-up.
DS is almost 5 and 4.5 was the worst. Tantrums, fits, whining, crying, hitting, wouldn't go to time out. We started using 1,2,3 magic and I think it is working. We (DH and I) need to be a little more consistant. ILs said they noticed a big improvement in him from the last time they saw him the beginning of the summer until now. I count him for whining as well as saying no (he likes to say no anytime he is ask to do anything). If he gets to 3 then he needs to go to his room for 4 minutes. If he throws a fit and refuses to go to his room his room by the time I count to 5 he looses a privillege (usually tv or video time). If I'm counting and I don't have time for a time out then I say "that's 1 and you will lose tv if I get to 3" so he knows what is coming.
Also, DS1 and DH had an awful time getting ready for school in the morning, nagging,nagging, nagging. (DH takes DS1) I would focus on DS2. So now DS1 has to help DH make his lunch and breakfast in the morning, then he is allowed to watch TV until while he eats breakfast and DH has sometime to himself. Then at 7 the tv goes off ds has to finish his breakfast if it is not done, get dressed, brush his teeth,stand still and let me brush his hair and put on sunscreen. Then he gets to watch tv until DH is ready to leave. Works a 100 times better plus no nagging.
Also for school in the morning