Our loss at 21 weeks

kforbs126 · October 2013

Yesterday morning at 4am I delivered our sleeping baby girl at 21 weeks. I feel so horrible and feel like I failed my little girl. My DH and I are also confused because just a week ago we saw her on the ultrasound and her heart was beating. Friday I started getting a few cramps here in there and figured this was normal. By saturday afternoon they became consistent and were getting painful. We went to the hospital and they found no heartbeat. They sent us home and told us to come back in the morning to deliver her because they had no beds and we'd be waiting a while. So we went home and the contractions continued and got so bad by 3am they were happening every 3 or 4 minutes. We went back and they took us in. Within 45 minutes of being there I delivered her. She was beautiful and so small. I held her for a while.

It was a crazy emotional pregnancy from finding out genetic test results of positive for possible trisomy's but the amnio came back negative so we were relieved. Then they told us she was measuring a few weeks behind. Then my blood pressure spiked up for about 3 weeks and they finally got it under control 2 weeks ago. It seems she stopped growing and I feel like it probably was because my blood pressure issues. We will find out for sure in a few weeks what caused this. It's our second loss, I mc'd in March 2012 at 8 weeks. I just hope one day I can be blessed with a baby.

bunnybun4 · October 2013

I am so sorry for all of your losses. I hate to welcome new moms here but glad you have found such a great place for support.

Your loss is so fresh and new and I am sure you have so many things running through your head right now...be patient with yourself and let yourself grieve and feel free to vent all you need on here. big ((hugs))

Noethola · October 2013

***Siggy warning***

Just wanted to send you lots of thoughts again. I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter and your previous loss. I am so very sorry to welcome you over here. Please feel free to share her name if you named her. We love to use each other's children's names.

Please use this group as little or as much as you want. The coming weeks will be really hard, and it is very hard not to feel guilty as the mommy. Big ((hugs)) sweetie.

princezjk · October 2013

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious little girl. As PPs have said, I hate to welcome new loss moms here, but hope that this board can be a source of support and comfort for you. Sending lots of T&P to you and your family. (((hugs)))

BrittianyM · October 2013

Very sorry for your losses. We are all here for you when ever you need us.

mingaling2 · October 2013

I'm so sorry. We, too, lost our little girl at 21 weeks.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Dixon813 · October 2013

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your precious baby girl. If you'd like to share her name, we'd love to hear it - our babies are so precious to us.

I hope you find comfort here whenever and however you need it. Please be gentle - many prayers with you and your husband.

ajsweeton · October 2013

***SIGGY WARNING***

I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a child is the most difficult thing to go through. I hope you find some comfort on this board.

shandorfml2 · October 2013

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter, and your early loss. Lots of hugs sweetie...it's a hard path for us angel mommies.

elephantsonpatrol · October 2013

I'm so sorry for your loss. There are too damn many of us F14s on this board. Lets support each other as we begin this sad journey

kforbs126 · October 2013

Thank You everyone it means a lot and I will be here regularly. Today has been such a blur. Just trying to stay positive except it's really hard. I just keep thinking why and if this will ever work out for me.

sparrowmomma24 · October 2013

I'm so sorry for your loss. And I know how tired you must be getting of hearing the "I'm so sorry's". I said goodbye to my sleeping daughter a month ago today at 22 weeks. It was horrific. I'm here ANY time you need to talk. Send me a message. I have days where I'm actually doing pretty well. And other days where I'm definitely not. It's a roller coaster we've all been on here. This is exactly where you should be, dear.

danalawrence · October 2013

I just want to say, I wish I could throw rocks at the head of whatever insensitive medical professional SENT YOU HOME after that diagnosis because there were NO MORE BEDS. Grrrrr. Please know that my heart and mind and best wishes are with you!

OSUWifey09 · October 2013

***SIGGY WARNING***

I'm so, so sorry for your losses and to welcome you here. Please know we're here for you. *hugs*

weddedwife · October 2013

I'm so sorry for your loss. Many of us feel guilt regardless of the circumstances, regardless of if it's warranted or not. I'm still working on believing that my son's death due to PTL/IC was not at least partially my fault, and I'm going on 2 years. Try not to be too hard on yourself, when it comes down to it, it really doesn't matter because it won't change anything. Sad but true.

It's especially hard when the pregnancy hasn't been easy. We feel like we've come so far...for what? It's just downright unfair and awful all around.

Huge hugs. So sorry to welcome you here but glad you found us.

NataliasMOM0214 · October 2013

I am so desperately sorry for your loss. Two months ago, we lost our son, "Chase", when I was 21 weeks pregnant, and it was the hardest thing I've/we've ever gone through. all these questions keep popping into my head....plus, the fear of trying again, and can this happen again, etc....very frightening.

Best wishes to you, and I'm here if you want to PM me. take care of yourself through this process. (((HUGS)))

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