I dread going to bed

PixiesDust · October 2013

Every night I get really anxious about going to bed. DD wakes up about every 1.5 to 2.5 (if i'm lucky) hours during the night and I dread closing my eyes knowing that I'll be up soon thereafter. It makes me feel really terrible that I'm struggling so much with the nighttime feedings, especially as they seem to be increasing in length as she grows (and wants to eat more) and when it's particularly difficult to get her to go back to sleep. DH is great and always asks if I want him to get up and feed her (I always have a supply of pumped milk in the fridge just in case it's needed) or try to get her back to sleep, but I feel so guilty about this as well that I almost always decline his offer. During the day is a completely different story and I don't feel anxious or fearful about caring for or feeding her, but i worry my nighttime frustrations might be an indication of something more. Is anyone else feeling overwhelmed at night? What are you doing to cope?

CatieG · October 2013

I'm so sorry you're struggling with these feelings! As far as I'm concerned it's all part of the newborn days. I had moments of utter resentment towards DD1 the first few weeks when she would sleep/feed like that. I promise it will get better! You're definitely not alone in your feelings, either.

yesthisiskim0401 · October 2013

DD1 had her days and night mixed up for the first three weeks and I remember sobbing when the sun went down because I knew what I was in for. If I were you I would take DH up on his offer and try to get any extra sleep possible. Try keeping DD awake longer before bed time (strip her naked, sit her in a bouncer and talk to her - that's what I do every night) and have her nap by windows during the day. Swaddle her at night if you aren't already. I hope it gets better soon - hugs to you!

kcs7 · October 2013

Im right there with you. I started to feel depressed tonight as it started getting dark. No advice on anything working, just you arent alone.

Pickle123 · October 2013

Everything seems SO BAD at 2-3am. It sucks. Then the sun rises and everything's ok. I think this is normal.

CousinVicki · October 2013

i felt this way too, it's very difficult that early on. there is a 2 week growth spurt which was almost the end of me, it was SO hard, the feedings were non-stop. maybe this is an issue now too? it will soon pass and she might move towards slightly longer stretches. also, are you sleeping during the day when she naps? try to get every ounce of sleep that you can , no matter when it is!

kcs7 · October 2013

In fact, he just had eaten and was so contentand I could not stir him awake to take the dessert side so I was going to pass him off to dh and go to bed now and try for a ccouple hours. Dh decided too since he was so out of it we'd both try to go to bed. Nope. Woke up before we even went to put him down. It's like he knows. Wide awake and fussy now.

*sigh* but I will feed him as much as I can now and massage for hindmilk I hope and maybe just maybe we will get a couple hours!

PixiesDust · October 2013

I seriously love you all. It makes me feel so much better to know that how I'm feeling is normal and that I'm not alone. Your advice and tips are much appreciated and I'll certainly give them all a try.

If I wasn't mobile i'd gif something awesome but I still haven't figured it out. So just pretend!

tashad18 · October 2013

I hate night time too. Mostly because I can hardly sleep even when LO is asleep. I'm so nervous he will cry and I won't hear. And, I constantly check on his breathing.

I'm a major hypochondriac so I'm always thinking something is wrong. My DH has made me stop googling things. It doesn't help that I was positive for GBS with this pregnancy. It makes me even more paranoid!

ksimo6 · October 2013

Thank you for this post. I sob every night before bed and am so anxious about not hearing her cry. I feel terrible because my poor husband has no clue what to do. This post and responses make me feel so much better. Oye!

CousinVicki · October 2013

dknight413 said:

I hate nights too. Especially when LO decides to spit everything up that she just ate and Not-So-Dear-Husband throws a hissy fit and storms out of the bedroom because I disturbed his precious beauty sleep whilst trying to clean it up. ~X( Anybody want a husband? Anyone????

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?? he doesn't even help? douche canoe!

Arod1087 · October 2013

Such anxiety about sleep. First night home she choked on her spit and since then I can not sleep when she is sleeping! I hate night time..it's very difficult! So right there with you!

pmarie33 · October 2013

dknight413 said:

CousinVicki said:

dknight413 said:

I hate nights too. Especially when LO decides to spit everything up that she just ate and Not-So-Dear-Husband throws a hissy fit and storms out of the bedroom because I disturbed his precious beauty sleep whilst trying to clean it up. ~X( Anybody want a husband? Anyone????

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?? he doesn't even help? douche canoe!

He lost about 10 husband points for that one. Seriously not impressed. At. All. [-(

This is not ok. Damn the man!

sarahcatie · October 2013

I'm right there with you! As soon as the sun goes down at night I dread what *may* happen with feeding/fussiness/sleeping. I really don't have any advice for you, as I'm also trying to figure it out. But know that we're here with you!

ClaireOtoms · October 2013

This is where my PPA/PPD started last time. The absolute dread and desperation when the sun goes down was pretty intense.

DH and I have agreed that I really need extra help at night this time, especially since I can't take naps during the day this time around with DS1 running around. Without H's midnight support, I am positive I would be dealing with major PPD again this time around. It is still hard - I deft had a good cry last night because Wyatt was sleeping and I wasn't - but much, much better with extra help. Do NOT feel guilty for asking for it - you need it!

RedZee · October 2013

DD1 would freak out every night starting at 6pm and just cluster feed and cry for hours. It was awful. And DH was in the middle of wrestling season (he's a coach) so often wouldn't get home until 8 to find me crying and falling apart. The beginning is VERY hard.

Make sure your LO doesn't sleep more than a 3 hour stretch during the day so that she's getting her feedings during the day. If you know she's had enough daytime feedings and also tank her up before bed, you can try to get her back to sleep without nursing each time. Lay her on your chest doing skin to skin (or have your H do it) or try a pacifier if you plan to use one. I felt like every cry meant hunger at the beginning, but nursing every hour all night long is just too much for you and it's important for you to be able to take care of your baby too!

edaire · October 2013

I feel you. Completely. You are NOT alone. DS is so crabby and cries all the time. We are on his 3rd formula and he is 15 days old. I had to enlist the help of DH. I was losing it. I just pray that it will pass and that this new formula will give him some relief. Good luck!!

saytay · October 2013

I am exactly the same way! The minute I lay down my heart starts pounding and I dread going to sleep too for fear of her waking right back up. DH has been great, I do feedings and he does diapers because I still don't have enough milk in yet for bottles. It is getting better with time but he does not have much more time off work and that worries me too. I wish you guys the best and just know you are not alone.

slh6363 · October 2013

I feel the same way! Day time is much easier for us! He hates sleeping flat, bc during the day he is in the RnP or swing but don't want to let me do that overnight. So we are struggling with this too! He is also wanting to eat more and more. DH does get up when I ask him to but makes me feel guilty bc he has to get up and go to work and I don't. Hoping things will get better soon once we get into the swing of things!

Lilpoppy · October 2013

I feel anxious about night time too! I feel bad asking DH to help but I've started to ask him to do diapers in between sides when im feeding. Also it sucks because sometime LO will sleep for a longer stretch During the night (like 3 or 4 hours) but I still wake even before he does because I'm paranoid about not feeding him enough. Guess I need to cluster feed during the day..

I dread going to bed

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