Going back to work- babysitter advice

rachel23750 · October 2013

So I've been off of work for 3 months now, and will be going back in 4 weeks. My DS is 8 weeks now, and of course I'm dreading it. Fortunately for me, a friend of mine is a SAHM for her 1 year old daughter and has agreed to watch my DS during the day. My work hours and DH work hours overlap a little, so she would only be watching him 3-4 hours a day. How much should I pay her?? Her husband works with me, so I know how much he makes. She hasn't worked since her daughter was born, so I know they can survive on just his salary- so this additional income is just for her. I don't want to offend her by not giving her enough and risk ruining our friendship. What are all you working moms paying your babysitter??

Emeraldeyed315 · October 2013

I would research other in home day care pay. Ask her what she anticipates for payment but have something in mind for what you think is reasonable.

LJUTCMommy · October 2013

It would be helpful to know where you live as COL can affect these rates.

If you can, go on CL for your area and see what nannies and day cares are charging.

LJUTCMommy · October 2013

@Sundae13 That rate makes me miss living in the Midwest! California is so expensive.

rachel23750 · October 2013

@Sundae13 and @LJUTCMommy - we live in New York, on Long Island. Everything is pretty expensive over here :-(

mommabmb · October 2013

We have full daycare in her home, same situation, SAHM and all, and we are using her for 8-9 hours 5 days a week. We pay $150 per week and provide EVERYTHING. I wouldn't pay less than $100 per week, however, no matter how many hours she watches.

LJUTCMommy · October 2013

LJUTCMommy said:
@Sundae13 That rate makes me miss living in the Midwest! California is so expensive.

rachel23750 said:
@Sundae13 and @LJUTCMommy - we live in New York, on Long Island. Everything is pretty expensive over here :-(

Ok if it's similar to CA, for a nanny who brings her own child it's 12-15/hour. Since you know her personally, I'd probably start by offering $12 and negotiate from there.

LokiLahve · October 2013

Wow, some of these rates make me want to move! We are in the MD/DC area and paying $250 per week. She will be there full time

so minimum 40 hours and our daycare provides everything (except my breast milk, but they would provide formula). It is a licensed in home daycare.

centers in our area start around $300 per week and are as high as $450. Out-fucking-rageous!

lkobriant · October 2013

I would definitely research what others make in your area. We pay our nanny 12/hr which is kind of low for our area. I wouldn't base it off of her husband's pay, that shouldn't be a factor...would it be if you didn't work with him? She's still providing the same service. Maybe ask what she expects to make?

girlmama83 · October 2013

Personally, I would ask her what she would like to be compensated. That's just me though. I assume she has a desired amount in mind.

My aunt is refusing to take money from us. I think we are just going to pay her in wine.

LJUTCMommy · October 2013

LokiLahve said:
Wow, some of these rates make me want to move! We are in the MD/DC area and paying $250 per week. She will be there full time so minimum 40 hours and our daycare provides everything (except my breast milk, but they would provide formula). It is a licensed in home daycare.

centers in our area start around $300 per week and are as high as $450. Out-fucking-rageous!

Daycare in my area start at $400. It's another reason we decided on a nanny. Child care costs more than our house. :-/

melanieray716 · October 2013

I live on Long Island as well and we are paying $1350 a month for daycare!! It is ridiculously expensive here.

BabyE143 · October 2013

melanieray716 said:
I live on Long Island as well and we are paying $1350 a month for daycare!! It is ridiculously expensive here.

What? That's just cray.

LiylaRae · October 2013

LokiLahve said:
Wow, some of these rates make me want to move! We are in the MD/DC area and paying $250 per week. She will be there full time so minimum 40 hours and our daycare provides everything (except my breast milk, but they would provide formula). It is a licensed in home daycare.

centers in our area start around $300 per week and are as high as $450. Out-fucking-rageous!

Wow that is insane!! We pay 326 a month. She is there for 3.5 hours a day and also we get a student discount because her daycare is on our campus.

BlueJewelM · October 2013

lkobriant said:
; I wouldn't base it off of her husband's pay, that shouldn't be a factor...would it be if you didn't work with him? She's still providing the same service. Maybe ask what she expects to make?

This was my first thought. Whether she "needs" the money or not shouldn't be a factor. She is providing a service and should be paid accordingly. Can you afford daycare that isn't "subsidized" by a friend? (I don't mean that to come across snarky...just wondering if maybe she knows your financial situation and is willing to be paid less as a favor? If your financial situation is even a factor, it may not be!)

I would research what places around you charge and work from there. I live in a north suburb of Indianapolis and most people I know pay about $200 a week for dc. So if it were me, I'd maybe start negotiations around 100 a week if it's only 3 or 4 hours a day?

As a SAHM I can say I probably wouldn't do it for any less than that. (If I were interested in something like that...which I'm not. I couldn't imagine dealing with any more kids than my own!! Haha!)

MitsB707 · October 2013

My daycare would be $1399 a month if dh didn't get a discount for working for his company. It's still 1199 though. I wish I could pay someone $3 an hour! Most nannies around here (Princeton/ Hamilton, NJ) go for 15/hr.

Rowcate · October 2013

We pay a friend $120 for 4 half days. Thank goodness we don't live in some of these other super expensive areas. I think you should certainly research your area, you want to be fair and not insult anyone. No one owes you child care and they should be paid fairly regardless of the financial situation.

FeetFirst · October 2013

BabyE143 said:

melanieray716 said:
I live on Long Island as well and we are paying $1350 a month for daycare!! It is ridiculously expensive here.
What? That's just cray.

We pay $1450/month...that is the infant rate. DS is at the preschool rate now and that is $1100 ( his center drops by about $100/month as they move up rooms, so about every year we get a little cheaper, but $1100 is now the lowest).

Oh and I live about an hour north of Seattle.

PackersFan315 · October 2013

We pay $325/week for the infant room at a day care/school. He is there from 7am to 4:30/5 M-F. I live in the western suburbs of Chicago. We went with this place because even though it's a little pricey, we felt very comfortable there and we don't have to pay during the summer when LO is out because I'm a teacher and would have him home with me then.

Other places we checked still charged during the summer to hold his place even though that's 10 weeks he won't be there.

So, breaking that down per hour is about $6.50. When I look at it that way, it's not *as* scary.

Jamie7981 · October 2013

Holy cow I am now thankful for $20 a day to a family member!!! It's a 2 way street favor-cheap for us/extra money for her! I have a lot of friends that pay $25 per day-this is an in home day care price for outside St. Louis MO.

BelhurstBride · October 2013

I agree with finding the going rate and what she'd like to be paid.

I'm in WNY so our COL is significantly lower, but when I take in kids I have a set rate for half days and full days and provide all meals(when it comes to that.) some people around here have set rates for the week, some don't provide meals.

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