I am not crazy!

Frenchteachermama · October 2013

Ugh! I just need to vent...

My identical twin sister can be SO insensitive! She acts like my grief and emotions are extreme and says things like "well my friend X didn't act like this when she had her miscarriage" and "geeze, you're really taking this too far maybe you should see a grief counselor"... I am not crazy. My emotions and pain are valid. I don't wish this upon anyone but unless you've been in my shoes do not belittle my experience. I am not 'X', I am me.

It's so hard to hear such insensitive things from my sister. I know the bigger and more adult thing to do is to walk away and ignore her insensitivity but I literally wanted to strangle her (well maybe not literally)....

2009lovebirds · October 2013

I'm sorry your sister is so insensitive! A pregnancy loss can be very traumatic and you should have people there to listen and support you. I would see out support elsewhere. Hugs!

Ihope · October 2013

I'm so sorry for your loss. Having to deal with people who minimize the pain is the worst. Some people are just too self centered.

libby+nate · October 2013

So sorry she isn't being there to support you. I have really found out who my true friends are. I also admit though that until I went through this myself I had no freaking idea how hard it is. I felt sad for my friends who had losses, but now i feel like I wasn't there enough for them. Praying she comes around and that you know you are not alone. BIG (hugs)

aschultz9 · October 2013

My husband has made the suggestion also that I need to see someone. However I believe he just truly doesnt understand. Ive also learned that when people say "im here for you" they dont really mean that. When I have even remotely tried to discuss my feelings the subject gets changed. This is a horrible experience, and even more horrible to process because you do it alone. Im so sorry for you and your loss. Hopefully expressing some of those feelings here is a bit helpful.

megrae12 · October 2013

I am so sorry! My sister tried to do the same thing. We are very close and talk every day so naturally she was the person I turned to the most. She never understood what I was going through and would say things that I truly believe she thought were helpful but just made me want to punch her. I finally yelled at her and said that I just needed a sounding board and to stop trying to "fix" this. She has since just listened to me and allowed me to vent. Maybe you can do that with your sister? If not, please know if you need to vent, I am here. HUGE (hugs)!

Frenchteachermama · October 2013

Thanks ladies. It's just so hard to have someone so close who is so clueless! We've always had a somewhat rocky relationship so talking to her about my feelings is not going to work. It's a hard way to live but I'm used to it by now....I am so happy I have a place like this to talk to other women who are going through the same thing, and who won't call me crazy...

dianeg1017 · October 2013

So sorry to hear of your loss. Everyone processes their emotions differently. It is not fair for anyone to judge you on how you emotionally handle this.