MIL made going home outfit

chatita_78 · August 2013

I remember my SIL bought DS a hideous and corny "My First Christmas" outfit that simply had to be worn for Christmas when we had an adorable outfit and bow tie for him to wear. It wasn't the end of the world, we put it on for 30 mins, took some pics, faked a blow out diaper and into the cute outfit he went. No one died, cried and everything went fine. Honestly I think it's ridiculous to waste tears over an outfit. I find it more ridiculous that the poor woman has to push a baby out of her vagina and entertain 22 people. Now THAT is something to cry about. I honestly don't get how people can't give a new family a little privacy and adjust to their new growing family.

achadwick19 · August 2013

I say, if MIL is going to be there when she is discharged, then she should suck it up and have the baby wear it. It's just an outfit, no big deal. I understand it's disappointing because you want them to look all adorable when they're leaving the hospital, but she has the baby's whole life for cute outfits!

But if MIL isn't there, definitely do a pic, and then change. It sounds to me like MIL would get too insulted and it would be a big deal if she told her no, or else I would suggest that. Good luck to your SIL! An outfit luckily isn't the end of the world.

wlux · August 2013

I have boundary stomping inlaws (more because my H is a unicorn rainbow blower when it comes to his parents) ... But they are 5 hrs away. If this were me I wouldn't even bring the outfit to the hospital. Make it a non issue. if she would dare mention it or make a scene that's on her not your SIL and unfortunately for your SIL she will have 22 witnesses to the crazy. I would also like to add that maybe she should work on her H handling the MIL. I've noticed a difference when I make my H talk to his parents when they have done something. It's a work in progress...

msronzio · August 2013

Abs211981 said: Disneygeek77 said: Abs211981 said: msronzio said: @somerandomlady While I don't condone the white lying aspect of the PP's suggestion, I think it's a hell of a lot more insulting to corner a family member into using something she made when she wants it to be used. Keep in mind this isn't MIL's LO, it's SIL's LO... MIL already got to bring a child/children home in a take home outfit. While a handmade gift is always a kind gesture (I think I got 4 homemade baby blankets, and I love them ALL and wish I could use them all 4 at once!) it is just that -- a gift. The gifter does not get to tell the giftee when she can or can't use it, lol. That's just ridiculous.
Also, I realize gifter and giftee are probably not real words, hahaOk, I'm glad someone else is saying this. That was my thought. While it's a nice gesture, why not make an outfit for them at wear at ANY point? Why does she have to make the statement in public that it's specifically for the baby to come home in?
But since no one else had thought that I figured I was overreacting. Then again this was the same women who insisted her grown sons come back into the church to escort her out at the end of their wedding ceremony...as in she wanted them to come BACK in right after her son and his new wife walked out so that she could be escorted out by him.
Yeah, I know, weird.
Ok, you got me. Did this actually happen or did your DH / BILs say " no." Oh this actually happened. SIL was so taken aback that she didn't know what to say and just rolled with it. That was 3 years ago and to this day regrets not putting her foot down. Bc her DH went back in for mommy dearest after ditching her (this is how she sees it) she has had ongoing issues feeling like MIL is being too intrusive.

Oh, well in that case... It's time to start!

Sidenote; I read the PP's response to my comment a few times and didn't get it so I didn't respond. I'm not ignoring it, I just don't get it.

Edit: what the HELL happened to the quotes!?!? Holy shit. They look fine when I go to edit. What's going on TB!!!

Littlemama01 · August 2013

Can they conveniently "forget" the outfit in their haste to get to the hospital???

I agree with a few PP, put the baby in the outfit for some photo's, or when MIL is there, and then change them..but really from Hospital-Home isn't that big of a deal on the "going home" thing.

I would also probably buy some sleepers in different sizes and say "just in case yours doesn't fit" so that you also have an out on the off chance it really doesn't fit.

IforShort · August 2013

(I'm just moving over from second tri board-HI!!)
I didn't read all the responses but here's what I would do...my MIL does this ALL THE TIME. Every big event (ie Christmas, birthday) she sends a special outfit for my child without thinking that I may already have something in mind. What I do is just put my DD in the outfit I chose special because she got to choose outfits for her three children. When/if she asks about the outfit she gave I respond with how grateful I am for it and will definitely take pictures of DD in it but that I already had an outfit picked out. I don't tell her I don't like her outfit, I don't tell her that I should get to pick out my DD outfits, I just keep things neutral. If her feelings are hurt because I picked out an outfit for my DD then it just sounds silly if she were to tell anyone else or even complain to me.

Abs211981 · August 2013

IforShort said:

(I'm just moving over from second tri board-HI!!)
I didn't read all the responses but here's what I would do...my MIL does this ALL THE TIME. Every big event (ie Christmas, birthday) she sends a special outfit for my child without thinking that I may already have something in mind. What I do is just put my DD in the outfit I chose special because she got to choose outfits for her three children. When/if she asks about the outfit she gave I respond with how grateful I am for it and will definitely take pictures of DD in it but that I already had an outfit picked out. I don't tell her I don't like her outfit, I don't tell her that I should get to pick out my DD outfits, I just keep things neutral. If her feelings are hurt because I picked out an outfit for my DD then it just sounds silly if she were to tell anyone else or even complain to me.

Thank you for this

A simple response that keeps everyone happy. I know this may have seemed like an obvious option, but I think it will do the trick.

I think the more SIL dwells on it the bigger deal it's going to be. If she brushes it off as no big deal then it will make MIL look like the nutty one if she were to make a big deal about it.

Thanks again!

laurakaz13 · September 2013

SIL should just say, "Oh thank you. It's lovely." and then put the baby in whatever outfit she wants. Really, going home outfits are kind of dumb. Our ride home from the hospital was 8 minutes and no one saw us. I don't even remember what DD wore.

orijinale · September 2013

My mouth gets me in trouble at times. I probably would have blurted out in laughter not to make my baby that outfit. Or boy my niece or nephew is going to hate baby photos from the hospital. Lol

hlb622 · September 2013

I just washed all of the nugget's clothes (NB-3 mos.) yesterday and I set aside a few outfits in a few sizes (by sight, not printed size since it varies so much) and all three are hand-me-downs or from a local garage sale. I honestly don't know what all the fuss is about when it comes to preparing to drive in a car for 20 minutes.

mcg512 · September 2013

Why is this thread still going?!?!

lollybrubs · September 2013

My MIL gave me the outfit she brought my husband home from the hospital in which I think is super cute but then I noticed that it is for a 6-9 month old baby! She said it was a little big on my husband (who was a 9LB+ baby) but so far our baby is measuring right at normal so it will likely be swimming in the thing. My plan is to take it to the hospital and take a photo of the baby in it and then bring the baby home in something else.

I would suggest maybe putting the baby in it earlier than you would a going home outfit but still in a plausible time frame to have it be a going home outfit and hope that there is a leaky diaper or something that will make you change it if you have to. If not then just take the kid home it in, I dont think it will be worth the drama to confront you MIL about not wanting to bring baby home in it. I also agree that having something that she made is very sweet and worth way more than anything store bought. If you dont want to keep it after than then hold on to it until the baby out grows it and frame it with a photo of the baby wearing it and give it back to your MIL as some one else suggested. That will show how much you appreciated the though even if you didnt love the execution.

proctorcookie7 · October 2013

this is undoubtedly a touchy thing... I really sympathize with you and would struggle too!! in fact I did but it was over a bedspread for my spare bedroom my mil bought for it which I wouldn't have picked. I tried to push on it but in the end the bedspreads there and although at first it was soooo important to me in the end it no longer is and it's not worth stressing yourself about or her being upset at this crucial time. you can take the baby out of the outfit once you're home and its a non event. this took up way to much space in my brain when it was me - focus on the most important thing your and your babies well being.

mamato3girls · October 2013

Bulky things (like a hand crocheted outfit) should not be worn in a carseat. It's a safety issue. This is assuming the outfit is crocheted all over, like a jacket and pants. In the event of an accident the yarn will compress allowing the risk of ejection from the seat. That s what I would tell my mil, and it is 100% true.

Rushley · October 2013

I love the idea of a homemade outfit, the baby will be wrapped in love

Babies don't care what they wear, they just want to be warm.

miam4 · October 2013

Well... I guess the baby will "get poop" on those clothes and she will not be able to use it! Let it fall on poop!

If she doesn't want to use it and she doesn't want to just tell her MIL, go for poop! lol

lollipoppoop · October 2013

Honestly, I would just put the baby in the outfit and then change him when I got home. Its not a big deal to me what the baby wears home so I would just put the outfit on and then maybe cover him with a blanket.

mcgeeva · October 2013

Simple I do this all the time to appease my mother and mil. Mil well just has horrible taste and my mom.. Who knows. I put our son in the outfit, take a picture at the hospital, change him into whatver and done! Send her a pic! It's at the hospital and the baby had it on. Who cares the baby don't wear it home or for long. A picture will mean a lot to make her happy and subject is done!

ELauren88 · October 2013

Honestly, the going home outfit is not the hill to die on. It doesn't even matter. I barely remember what LO came home in. I spent waaaay too much time, thinking that was important.

ScarlettV · October 2013

@Abs21198 tell her to forget to bring it. If she doesn't have it at the hospital then LO can't wear it. Just make sure she hides it somewhere in case mil offers to go get it. Things get so crazy, no one can fault mom for making that mistake

PetuniaFeatherbottom · October 2013

22 people!? F that noise. Hospital time is for mom, dad and baby. Also, MIL should have asked mom if she needed a going home outfit... Too late. But it doesn't seem like a big deal. Wear the outfit home. Mom has years of picking out clothes for the baby.

haven0610 · October 2013

This sounds like my mother in law. My MIL told me when i got pregnant that if it was a boy she wanted him to wear Dhs little brothers going home outfit (she is dh stepmom, he doenst talk to his real mom) . I was just like ok. I totally thought it was super weird that she would even ask me to do that because dh little brother would be LO uncle?? and not to mention that his little brother is a brat who i have some serious issues with. So when we found out we were having a boy I just told my MIL that my mom wanted Carson to go home in my little brothers going home outfit and it wouldnt be fair to choose so I just decided to buy him his own going home outfit! So it worked out and no ones feelings got hurt. I totally understand how MILs can be though. They just don't make any sense sometimes and Im sure yours meant well but I understand your SIL wanting to pick it out.

mkarns · October 2013

Brittlentz said:

Is a going home outfit really that big of a deal? She is going right from the hospital to home I assume. If it was me I would probably just go with it... Take a picture for the grandma then go home. Baby will probably spit up on it or poop within an hour of being home anyway. Plus because it is October and probably colder, he is going to be in a blanket anytime he isn't in a car seat. Is it really worth starting a fight over? If it is then maybe she just should take a few pictures at the hospital with it on, send them to the grandma, then change before she goes home...

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