Afternoon nap problems

Snapdragon750 · October 2013

My less than 2 1/2 year-old clearly still needs her afternoon nap, but we're having issues lately. I put her down at the same time as always, 1:00, and she is clearly tired by then (rubbing eyes, etc), but she routinely sings and plays in her bed for 1-2 hours before she falls asleep (if she doesn't by then, or if she cries before then, I take her out and just make bedtime early). But then she'll nap until 5:00. It's a problem because sometimes I have to wake her up and she's miss crankypants for at least a half hour, and also because we don't get to go anywhere or do anything together in the afternoon because by the time naptime is over it's dinnertime. Not to mention the havoc this whole mess wreaks on her bedtime; even if I wake her at 5, I put her to bed at 7:30 and she plays and sings and maybe falls asleep by 9. I know this is too late to be going to sleep when she wakes up at 7-7:30.

We have a bedtime routine that's never changed, and she doesn't wake up during the night. I recently had another baby (4 months ago), and we moved to a new house (2 months ago), so that's probably what started the disruption, but now that things are settling down I don't know how to fix it. Any suggestions?

christyjane17 · October 2013

Same. My 2 year old (August baby, sorry for the way outdated ticker) does the same thing. Wired at nap and bedtime. Not quite 1-2 hours but definitely 45 minutes. I pray this is not his way of giving up naps. Also, I have a 9 month old and this is holding md back from combining rooms.

TiffanyBerry · October 2013

At around this age, my daughter transitioned to a later nap. I'd try for 1pm, and it'd never happen. It was either give up the nap (which she was not ready for) or let her change it to 2:30pm. So, 2:30-4pm it was, for a very long time. (She's always done well honoring the 90-minute rest/active cycle idea.) Yeah, it sucks when dinner's at 5:30, and I will be prepping/cooking for at least half an hour before that, so no, we didn't go anywhere between nap and dinner either. But heck, even now that she hasn't napped in months, we don't tend to go out in the afternoon - it throws off her schedule and mine. We do our stuff in the mornings.

It did mean that she rarely (never?) got to sleep before 8:30pm (3 90-min cycles after waking up). But such is life. She didn't move her bedtime up to 7:30pm until she dropped her nap entirely. And she also gets up at 7am (or 6:30am...) She's *never* gotten 12 hours of sleep over night (well, maybe now - but she's getting over a cold :P ), and she'd get about 11 or 12, at most (on average) *including her nap* at the age your daughter is at now. (8:30pm-7:00am and 2:30pm-4:00pm was the best we ever got. Often it was more like 9pm-6:30am, and 2:30pm-4pm.)

You can't force a kid to sleep at a particular time. Heck, you can't force them to sleep. If she still needs a nap, well... it's gonna happen at the time she allows it to happen.

Snapdragon750 · October 2013

TiffanyBerry said:

At around this age, my daughter transitioned to a later nap. I'd try for 1pm, and it'd never happen. It was either give up the nap (which she was not ready for) or let her change it to 2:30pm. So, 2:30-4pm it was, for a very long time. (She's always done well honoring the 90-minute rest/active cycle idea.) Yeah, it sucks when dinner's at 5:30, and I will be prepping/cooking for at least half an hour before that, so no, we didn't go anywhere between nap and dinner either. But heck, even now that she hasn't napped in months, we don't tend to go out in the afternoon - it throws off her schedule and mine. We do our stuff in the mornings.

It did mean that she rarely (never?) got to sleep before 8:30pm (3 90-min cycles after waking up). But such is life. She didn't move her bedtime up to 7:30pm until she dropped her nap entirely. And she also gets up at 7am (or 6:30am...) She's *never* gotten 12 hours of sleep over night (well, maybe now - but she's getting over a cold :P ), and she'd get about 11 or 12, at most (on average) *including her nap* at the age your daughter is at now. (8:30pm-7:00am and 2:30pm-4:00pm was the best we ever got. Often it was more like 9pm-6:30am, and 2:30pm-4pm.)

You can't force a kid to sleep at a particular time. Heck, you can't force them to sleep. If she still needs a nap, well... it's gonna happen at the time she allows it to happen.

Thanks for the perspective! Still, my daughter has always gotten 12+ hours of sleep at night PLUS her nap(s) until now, and I really think the difference is affecting her. Some kids need more sleep than other kids, and I know I can't force her to sleep, but I want to do whatever I can to help her get where she needs to be. She seems to sleep until 7-7:30 no matter what time she goes down (I once put her down at 5:30 after day 3 of no nap and she slept until 7:30), so maybe I actually need to be putting her to bed earlier. I just hate doing the early bedtime thing.

TiffanyBerry · October 2013

Yeah, our bedtime starts at 6:30 these days. It's annoying, but it's better than dealing with her when she is sleep deprived!

teshy1 · October 2013

We've been having napping issues, too. For the past week-and-a-half, DD has only actually napped maybe 3 times. We still do the naptime routine and even if she doesn't sleep, I still keep her in her room for "quiet time" for a good 90 minutes. She was doing well with overnight sleep, but now that's becoming a challenge, too, with DD waking up anywhere from 1-3 times per night. I'm hoping this is a phase, because at 33 months, I feel like it's a bit early to be giving up naps altogether.
Not to mention, it's hard for me to rest when she is awake in the afternoon, and at 30 weeks pregnant, I could use the down time!

LMBecky11 · October 2013

My daughter is still usually taking her nap right after lunch, but occasionally if she says she doesn't need it I let her go and see if she does or not.
On the bedtime thing, I know everyone has their own routines and stuff, but maybe her body feels like 7:30 is too early for her to go to bed now? My LO wakes up between 7 & 7:30 and she doesn't generally go to bed until 8:30 or 9.
If she is getting too much sleep at night then maybe that's why she doesn't want to take a nap so early anymore. That's my only thought on it. Hopefully you can figure out what helps! It is a bummer when they don't get enough sleep throughout the day.

Snapdragon750 · October 2013

LMBecky11 said:

My daughter is still usually taking her nap right after lunch, but occasionally if she says she doesn't need it I let her go and see if she does or not.
On the bedtime thing, I know everyone has their own routines and stuff, but maybe her body feels like 7:30 is too early for her to go to bed now? My LO wakes up between 7 & 7:30 and she doesn't generally go to bed until 8:30 or 9.
If she is getting too much sleep at night then maybe that's why she doesn't want to take a nap so early anymore. That's my only thought on it. Hopefully you can figure out what helps! It is a bummer when they don't get enough sleep throughout the day.

I would have thought something like that if she were her normal, bright, chipper self, but she's been getting bags under her eyes and will tell me "I'm tired" throughout the day, so I know she needs more sleep than she's been getting. It's probably the opposite problem; she's so overtired that she can't fall asleep easily and actually needs to go to bed earlier.

On that note, after a totally missed nap yesterday I put her to bed at 5:30. She slept until 7:30 and went down immediately for her afternoon nap today!

I'm going to shoot for a 6:30 bedtime (if she naps, 5:30 if not) until she's back on track.

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