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Mommy v. Daddy

MidwestMeetsMAMidwestMeetsMA member
in One & Done: Only child
Sorry in advance for the lack of paragraph breaks... My iPad doesn't recognize them for some reason. Even though we're only a few weeks in, it's interesting to see how my SO and I parent differently. We're on the same page for the big stuff, but when it comes to littler things, not so much. For example, I think we should keep DD in a quiet, dark area from 10 PM on, so she can get herself organized for sleep. SO thinks its fine to rock her to sleep on the couch while watching TV. Tonight we compromised by having her in the living room with him, but with all the lights off and the TV on very low. How do you guys deal with the little disagreements?
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Re: Mommy v. Daddy

  • KatieB19KatieB19 member
    Agreed. If it's a big deal to you, sit down and talk about it. Same if it's a big deal to him, really take the time to listen to his reasoning. DH defaults to me regarding a lot things because I have really strong feelings about them or because I'm home all the time so I have a better idea of what works. But there are also things that we do differently. And it's not a big deal (although sometimes it feels like it!). We are two different people, and it's not a completely crazy idea that ds will learn what to expect from each of us. We don't have to do everything the same.

    All that being said, I'm with you on the bedtime thing. Light can affect melatonin, which is what our bodies use to help sleep. If your husband is like mine, I would find an article or something to back up your opinion so he doesn't think you are just being irrational about something silly. Unless it really isn't that big of a deal to you, and then maybe compromise on a bedtime routine that meets both of your needs <3
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  • Nechie122Nechie122 member
    On something like that, I'd let him figure it out on his own. For instance, when DD was that young, I would go to bed at 8 and DH would give her a bottle and put her to sleep. However he wanted to do that was fine with me -- heck, I just appreciated the uninterrupted rest! If/when his system doesn't work, your DH will eventually figure out on his own that he needs to change course.

    Unlike the PPs, I actually end up deferring to my DH on a lot of things. And to this day, he's REALLY good with DD. I've gone away on business trips for as long as a week and he's got things DOWN. He steps up with minimal, if any, guidance from me. And then when he's traveling or working late, I do my system. And that works for me and DD.
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  • MrsCodeMonkeyMrsCodeMonkey member
    If your DH is the one taking care of her I'd let a lot slide if it's no biggie. You don't want to discourage him. If it's a big issue discuss it and agree on something.

    My DH and I have slightly different approaches to things and it works. In some instances he was better at some things. He was a master at swaddling back in the day and he does a better job with the bath. It's their special thing. I try to praise as much as I can because I appreciate getting a moment to myself.
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  • MidwestMeetsMAMidwestMeetsMA member
    KatieB19 said:
    If your husband is like mine, I would find an article or something to back up your opinion so he doesn't think you are just being irrational about something silly. 
    Oh, he is!  This is a great idea, haha!
    Thanks for the advice, everyone.  I think I need to just let it go a little bit.  I can't help it, I just so badly want to "get it right." Also, she's only six weeks old.  We have LOTS of nights to practice what'll work best.
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  • meo34meo34 member
    I usually win because I have done the research and reading and after eight years end at this point I could make it up and he would believe me LOL. I am with you on the quiet place to sleep.
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  • scrappingcatscrappingcat member
    In our house it usually works itself out with little stuff like this.  We have accepted that we parent differently but as long as the "big stuff" is agreed upon we let it go.  DH is much more of a stickler about the little stuff while I don't usually sweat it and only focus on the bigger issues.

    Your DH will change his mind when your DD is trying to watch the TV while taking her bottle or instead of taking her bottle!
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