Intimacy Gone

darlingvickster · September 2013

Has anyone's husband become intimately distant during pregnancy? My husband avoids touching my stomach. The only time he felt the baby kick, he yanked his hand away because he was so freaked out by it.I guess ive always had this image of a mom and dad both being happy and excited the first time the father could feel the baby kick....not horrified by it. He does not want to have sex at all and says its because he's worried about hurting the baby, but I have told him the doctor has told me that sex is perfectly fine. We've gone from him never being able to keep his hands off me to having to beg him to even spoon now a days. I'm really trying to not take it personally because this pregnancy wasn't exactly planned but with the hormones and the sudden change in intimacy its really hard not to be hurt and put off by it. Advice?

Mytaras · September 2013

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Some guys just get really freaked out by the whole process. Especially if it wasn't planned. They take so long to adjust. I'm sure once the baby is here he will go back to normal!

olga1311 · September 2013

No advice. Only can say I am going through the same thing with my hubs right now. It wAs upsetting me at first but I made my peace with it and accepted my belly and pregnancy just freak him out. He makes it up to me by being more intimate outside the bedroom - holding hands more, cuddling more, making out etc.

gladygirlca · September 2013

I have the opposite problem. My husband is very much in the mood, but I'm too hot, hormonal, and unwieldy - not to mention that the hormones have done negative things to my lubrication ability. I wish I could be closer to him, but I'm just so uncomfortable and have been since the beginning of this pregnancy.

AppleMuffins · September 2013

My DH doesn't like to feel the baby move much either. He'll move his hand away the same way yours does. He also is not into sex at all. Earlier in the pregnancy if he was really in the mood he was, but once I hit around 30 weeks, he was just totally done. He still loves me and we're intimate in other non-sexual ways. He still loves me and is super excited for the baby, but he's just not into the fact that I have another human growing inside of me.

MJHershey · September 2013

Mine is the same way- he is affectionate but not on any sexual way. He was like this last time too.

Good news is that after baby arrived he went back to normal. Granted I admit I was a little resentful and also wanted to be left alone. But it all righted itself.

DreamDisney · September 2013

Mine is the same way about feeling her move. As for the sex part I'm not much help there. I've had an infection for 7 weeks that's taken care of that problem. So were out of luck there.

JennyCupcakes01 · September 2013

I'd just talk to him. Tell him you appreciate that he wants to keep you and baby safe but that at the same time, it's hurting your feelings. Maybe take him in to the room with you and doctor during your next appointment and have the doctor actually say that sex IS ok.

I personally have had an opposite experience. I'm the one that just can't get in the mood and luckily my boyfriend is understanding and doesn't pressure me.

But express how you feel if you haven't yet.

alatham · September 2013

I'm in the opposite boat at this point. My SO wants to go at it every 5 minutes it feels like. I'm wondering if he knows its because soon enough there will be none for quite some time.

michellejrdh-2 · September 2013

I also have the opposite problem. He's touchy feely and horny and I want to punch him if he kisses me on the lips :-/ it's awful I don't want to be touched and the thought of him in a sexual way is non existent. Although I feel this way I love him so much and I know it's just temporary. Hopefully this helps you realize that's not how he feels about you. Just the situation

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

For some dudes pregnancy is a turn off & it freaks them out. It sucks, but as long as he isn't saying mean things or shaming you about your body then you have to chalk it up to him just not being into pregnancy.

I'm sorry.

JessieRose21 · September 2013

I think men are under alot of stress that we forget about or just don't realise there under when we are pregnant. While we are busy with everything happening to our bodies and getting ready for the baby, being excited about being a mum there busy thinking about how they are gonna provide for us and the baby, how there going to be able to balance work and home and adjusting to the idea of being a dad. I don't know about you ladies but if I'm under stress I don't feel like hoping in the good foot and doing the bad thing! Just because there men and society expects them to be horny or feel like having sex when ever it offered to them doesn't mean it's the case!

paigeamcnulty · September 2013

I'm glad too see that I am not alone!! I feel like this all the time...it makes me sad that I just don't have those feelings in general. It has nothing to do with me not being attracted to my hubby...I totally am all the time, I just don't have those feelings or intimacy right now...especially with feeling so LARGE and barely being able to move!!

proctorcookie7 · October 2013

I wouldn't worry about it. some men have a really hard time adjusting to it all, mine is pretty good in general and lets me take the lead but he's not as into feeling my belly as I am. after all this is physically happening to us and I still can't wrap my own mind around it, men are so disconnected from what we are going through they just can't understand it. my friend told me her husband who is not gun shy at all in life wouldn't touch her once she got pregnant. there are just certain fears that come up for them and it's really uncomfortable and most men cannot express that because that's a sign of weakness. get a toy for yourself:) ask him to rub your back or feet or whatever it's a crazy process for him too don't make it about you:) good luck

Intimacy Gone

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