Third-Party Reproduction
Manada
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How do you stay sane in such a high-stakes situation?
Manada
member
Hi Everyone,
I think this is my first thread here, besides my introduction -- and I'm posting here because I imagine, for many of you, DE/GC/DEmbryo situations are similar in terms of feeling to what we're going through. My partner and I have been through so many IF-related things, and are now moving into IVF with her body, Donor sperm, and hoping to have enough eggs/embryos for both of us to eventually get pregnant. She also has severe Endo, and so we are looking at this cycle as fertility preservation for both of us.
We are OOP for the costs, though we expect some of our meds to be covered (thank goodness!) - but this is probably our one shot at it - and that's pretty scary. For me, it feels extra high stakes because I'm already out, my body isn't doing it - so this feels like our only shot at either of us growing our baby(ies). In Canada donor embryos aren't really an option for us, because of the laws - the cost of using them are astronomical (legal fees, clinic fees, agency fees etc...) unless a friend donated them to us for free.
I know many of you have been there. How do you do it? How do you find a bit of empowerment in a hugely disempowering situation?
I think this is my first thread here, besides my introduction -- and I'm posting here because I imagine, for many of you, DE/GC/DEmbryo situations are similar in terms of feeling to what we're going through. My partner and I have been through so many IF-related things, and are now moving into IVF with her body, Donor sperm, and hoping to have enough eggs/embryos for both of us to eventually get pregnant. She also has severe Endo, and so we are looking at this cycle as fertility preservation for both of us.
We are OOP for the costs, though we expect some of our meds to be covered (thank goodness!) - but this is probably our one shot at it - and that's pretty scary. For me, it feels extra high stakes because I'm already out, my body isn't doing it - so this feels like our only shot at either of us growing our baby(ies). In Canada donor embryos aren't really an option for us, because of the laws - the cost of using them are astronomical (legal fees, clinic fees, agency fees etc...) unless a friend donated them to us for free.
I know many of you have been there. How do you do it? How do you find a bit of empowerment in a hugely disempowering situation?
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queer couple - 32 (me) & 33 (my love) years old - donor sperm,
Our IF/TTC journey since Nov 2012.
Me: dx of DOR in Nov. 2012. Low AMH, AFC - 6, Normal FSH, SS-A (RO) Antibodies (Autoimmune issues), tubes clear, Sono (November 2013) NORMAL! <p>
7 IUI's - December 2012-September 2013. Medicated, Injected, Triggered.... all BFN.
My Love: (the amazing @Healz413)
Normal AMH & FSH, AFC ~27, blocked tube dx'd via HSG in 2012. Hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in May 2013.
dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy in June 2013.
Partner IVF#1a- December 2013 - H's eggs, my Ute - CANCELLED due to low response
Partner IVF #1b - February 2014 - H's eggs, my Ute - ER February 4 (10 retrieved, 3 fertilized), Transfer Feb 7 of one Grade 1 and one Grade 2 day 3 embryos. 1 - Day 3, Grade 1 frosty saved. BFP - 6dp3dt via FRER, Beta #1 - 110, Beta #2 175, Beta #3 - 348, Beta #4 - 2222!, Beta #5 - 4255. Ultrasound (6w1d) - 2 heartbearts!
We lost our beautiful Twin baby girls on June 18, 2014. Tavin Sara and Casey Elizabeth were born at 21 weeks gestation and were absolutely beautiful, precious, amazing babies. We miss our daughters every day and love them with all our hearts.
queer couple - 32 (me) & 33 (my love) years old - donor sperm,
Our IF/TTC journey since Nov 2012.
Me: dx of DOR in Nov. 2012. Low AMH, AFC - 6, Normal FSH, SS-A (RO) Antibodies (Autoimmune issues), tubes clear, Sono (November 2013) NORMAL! <p>
7 IUI's - December 2012-September 2013. Medicated, Injected, Triggered.... all BFN.
My Love: (the amazing @Healz413)
Normal AMH & FSH, AFC ~27, blocked tube dx'd via HSG in 2012. Hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in May 2013.
dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy in June 2013.
Partner IVF#1a- December 2013 - H's eggs, my Ute - CANCELLED due to low response
Partner IVF #1b - February 2014 - H's eggs, my Ute - ER February 4 (10 retrieved, 3 fertilized), Transfer Feb 7 of one Grade 1 and one Grade 2 day 3 embryos. 1 - Day 3, Grade 1 frosty saved. BFP - 6dp3dt via FRER, Beta #1 - 110, Beta #2 175, Beta #3 - 348, Beta #4 - 2222!, Beta #5 - 4255. Ultrasound (6w1d) - 2 heartbearts!
We lost our beautiful Twin baby girls on June 18, 2014. Tavin Sara and Casey Elizabeth were born at 21 weeks gestation and were absolutely beautiful, precious, amazing babies. We miss our daughters every day and love them with all our hearts.
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Re: How do you stay sane in such a high-stakes situation?
It is a very rough road and I think we are have our turns at insanity. Personally, acupuncture has been a huge help for me but can get expensive. Otherwise, I go on long walks with my dog and try to focus on the joy that brings. Then there is the laughs & sweating brought by Zumba! And of course spending time with DH - doing nothing. He keeps me calm and smiling. Big hugs to you both!
Me:37 (DOR), DH: 40 (Normal) TTC #1 since Fall 2010
2010-2012 - 7 rounds of Clomid, 4 IUI & 2 IVF - all BFN (2 chemical pregnancies)
April 2013 fresh DEgg - 15R, 4F, 2 transferred = BFN.
FET - 11/13
Beta #1 11/23 = 247; Beta #2 11/25 = 538; Beta #3 11/29 = 5481 BFP!!!!!
U/s #1 12/7 & U/s #2 12/16 = One perfect little heart beat!!
EDD = 8/1/14
Hope is the thing with feathers - that perches in the soul - and sings the tune without the words - and never stops - at all - (Emily Dickinson)
IVF#1 Oct 2009 (CCRM) - BFN
IVF#2 March 2010 - Poor response/cancelled
DE IVF#1 Aug 2010 - BFN
DE IVF#2 Dec 2010 - Transferred 1, 2 frozen - BFP!
TTC#2 FET Jan 2013 - Transferred 1 - BFP!