Are you in the closet about IF?

Gator_Bride07 · October 2013

Just wondering if everyone has shared their journey with family and friends. I was in the closet for about 6 months until I told my 2 closest friends. I didn't tell my mom until a couple months after that. I haven't come out and blatantly posted it on fb, but I have posted a few (exactly 3) things related to my struggle. Some people know what I was referring to, most don't. I'm not sure why I kept it a secret, I guess I didn't want to admit I was struggling? It feels much better to have it out though. I've gotten a great deal of support.

Momarazzi007 · October 2013

Totally in closet. Except parents and bf. I am not ashamed but hubby is. Also w the stress already entailed just not having everyone constantly ask was incentive for me to be quiet. We told our best friends and their support is great, but for us just not having to feel obligated to tell everyone is a relief, especially since when we started 3 years ago, first cycle fresh 2 eggs turned ectopic so shots to end it, First FET w 2 eggs failed- then 2nd success, twins, but lost one. And sister in law opened her big mouth on that and we had to get constant condolences about losing one instead of focusing on finally pregnant. Yeah- not doing that until we know sex this time- expect you girls on this board- I share with you because you can keep the secrets

Jen071407 · October 2013

Back when we started TTC#3 close friends knew we were TTC, and since it clearly didn't happen they knew we then moved into IF land. I've backed off on sharing since our MC. Two of my closest friends know we are ttc again, one because she is also a neighbor and home on maternity leave so she can babysit for all my appts! We haven't told any family we are in the middle of a medicated cycle, and if we get a bfp (FX!) DH and I haven't decided if we will share right away or wait until at least seeing a heartbeat this time. I do know that without you ladies and my two "real life" friends I would go absolutely NUTSO not having someone to talk to.

pettycrocker · October 2013

Yea. No one knows. I have to keep making up excuses for "Why aren't you pregnant yet?" ... "When are you going to have another??" etc etc etc

gmc222 · October 2013

I'm a very open person in general, and lots of people know we are going through IF. Our parents and siblings, my closest friends, and more recently I opened up at a family party so a lot of my cousins know now as well. The more I talk about it IRL the more people I discover are going through the same thing, and its comforting to talk about it. I don't think anyone should feel ashamed or embarrased. Maybe it was easier for me because I have at least a handful of friends who have had to go through IVF.

freakyfast · October 2013

We are not in the open. The only ones that know are my son, (cuz he is old enough and my son and I are really close), my sister, my mother and my father. His parents don't even know. I don't think it is really an embarrassment thing, but rather a private thing we are going through. It is something WE are doing, not anyone else. I told my mother cuz she would flip her shit if something happened and she didn't know. (Reactions to meds or whatever) It has been hard with the questions. When you going to have kids? Why haven't you yet? I just feel it isn't really anyone's business, but I like to talk about feelings sometimes, and that is how I happened here.

I love knowing I have you all. And that quite frankly right now is perfect for me.

ETA: I also don't want all the questions as to how is it going? where you at? And if IVF doesn't work, I don't want the whole what happened? Why didn't it work? and the sympathy. I will just want to move on.

+SouthernMomma+ · October 2013

We are in the closet, I don't plan to come out. I have too much of a temper to deal with stupid people. Lol

MrsMegan922 · October 2013

We have told our parents and close friends. I have never posted about it on fb - and most people don't know. I have started sharing a bit at work, depending on the situation.

roughkat · October 2013

I am like @gmc222 - we are very open. I mean, I don't tell random strangers (usually, lol) but many of our friends know, my parents know, my brother knows, my boss knows. My parents have been helping us a bit with the financial burden of treatments (we're entirely OOP) so of course they would have to know, but they knew before anyway. I've gotten a lot of support, which has greatly outweighed the sometimes thoughtless comments. I've also been suprised to discover how many people have also struggled, so I've found some comfort in knowing we're not alone.

roughkat · October 2013

I agree, @TicketTuesday! I find that people just don't know what to say (usually) and just want to be supportive. It's odd, because I'm so usually pessimistic, but in these instances, I don't know, I can just usually see that people mean the best.

That doesn't stop me from laughing about some of the comments with DH later.

ally510 · October 2013

I've told my family and about 3 friends all whom went through IVF. The support I've received from my friends has been fantastic. They've helped sort of "normalize" the whole experience for me.

britt6292 · October 2013

We have told a few friends. The weird thing is I have not been able to bring myself to tell my mom. We are so close and we talk on the phone everyday. She visits a few times a month and I just haven't been able to spill it yet! Part of me wants to especially since it has been a year and I am going to the doctor In a few weeks. She would be so mad at me for not telling her. But on the other hand I don't want her to be upset or worry. My SIL knows because we found out randomly after too many drinks on my 30th birthday that we have both been TTC #2 for the same amount of time. It is nice to have someone so close that I can talk about these things with and she knows exactly where I am coming from.

KC1212 · October 2013

+SouthernMomma+ said:
We are in the closet, I don't plan to come out. I have too much of a temper to deal with stupid people. Lol

This is me exactly.

uagirl · October 2013

We have shared with our church small group and a few family members. After sharing with the family members and dealing with their stupidity, we stopped telling people.

chrissynena · October 2013

I only talk about it at work with few people, because everyone else is a bunch of idots. Outside of work however, I am very open with my friends and family. I don't know anyone who has went through what we have went through, but luckily one of my bosses at work did. She was a life saver during my IVF.

AlmostWright · October 2013

Yes and no. I keep my mom, sister-in-law, and a few friends updated with some details about each cycle. The rest of our family and most friends know we want more kids but that it isn't happening and we are working with fertility doctors. And if anyone asks if we want more kids, I hint at 2IF. I haven't told my bosses but may if more appointments fall on work days. So far I have been able to work around them. We were almost completely in the closet when we were just trying on our own, but I am more comfortable being open now.

Mrs.Ess · October 2013

Half in and half out. All of our close friends know about our struggles with number 1 but I'm not ready to tell anyone we are trying again.

trayle01 · October 2013

Totally in the closet here. We had to do IVF to conceive our first child and only a handful of people are even aware of it. We have no plans on telling anyone about doing IVF again to try for lo#2.

Want a personalized experience?

Are you in the closet about IF?

Re: Are you in the closet about IF?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards