Baby Weight "Shaming" Mother

norweigan · October 2013

Have you guys seen this? I'm not sure how I feel about it...

https://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/hot-mom-defends-herself-against-facebook-haters-192149769.html

WolFox · October 2013

She was a beauty queen and fitness competitor BEFORE SHE HAD KIDS. I have and never will look like that. I actually don't WANT to look like that. If I can get back to a size twelve after pregnancy I'll be happy. I've been a size ten for a few months once as an adult and size twelve is my norm. THAT I can return to after kids.

She was in shape for years so it was easier for her to get that body. Also, even if other women are beauty queens before pregnancy, they shouldn't be pressured into getting that body back after having kids.

Yes, fitness and health after pregnancy is important and doable. Pressuring women to look like that, however, is bull.

I'm squishy and soft now, and hope that I will be squishy and soft for my kids too. I just focus on making healthy choices so I live a long and squishy life.

EDIT: I don't think she MEANT to be offensive. She wants to inspire people... that's great. She's dedicated her life to looking like that and maybe it's just hard to understand that other people have completely different priorities.

Emerald27 · October 2013

She may not have meant to be offensive, but it really is (and this coming from someone who lost baby weight plus 10 lbs by 6 months pp).

New moms should not be made to feel self conscious or like they need to do anything about the baby weight. With proper nutrition (and breastfeeding if you're able) your weight should naturally return to normal between 9 and 12 months.

New moms should be spending their time relaxing and bonding with baby, not worrying about their baby bellies. Grump.

PugMum · October 2013

I on the other hand, find this extremely inspiring. I dream to have the energy like she does while being a mother X3.

I don't think she had any other purpose to this message other than being inspiring. I don't see the shaming.

AlphaSierra · October 2013

sweetTea42 said:

I hate how it's a competition to lose baby weight. Celebrities hide themselves for 6-8 weeks to make sure they can return to the spotlight in a size 2. It was refreshing to see The Duchess of Cambridge come out in her post delivery belly not trying to hide it

Snooki is the worst. She just looks gross now!

ashie0610 · October 2013

I only scanned the article but based on what I saw, I don't personally find it offensive at all. She works really, REALLY hard to look like that - harder than I'd ever be willing to work. If there's someone seeing that who is trying to get into great shape, I can see how she'd be seen as inspiring. If there are people seeing that who are indifferent or don't care about being in shape, then I don't see why they can't just say, "good for her" and move on.

EmeJay · October 2013

I don't think she's shaming mother at all, and everyone who gets offended by that are the ones with the excuses.

If you truly are ok with your body or if you don't have time to workout or whatever reason, then why would you feel like she's shaming you?

Good for her to do so. Me? I like to watch television and sit there with my iPhone. I also eat healthy and enjoy working out a little. Not every day.

I don't do what she does and I don't have the body she has. To each their own.

janda426 · October 2013

BobKat22 said:
I know a girl just like this IRL. I think it's great she can focus so much on herself. I'm honestly jealous. But her daily IG of her selfies in a bikini with "fitspiration" captions about how she's a mom and can look this good starts to feel a bit like weight shaming other moms. I don't buy it that she is trying to be inspiring, which makes me not buy it with this chick either.

This. I'm fit but the term "attention whore" comes to mind with people like this. The whole "what's your excuse" plastered above her and her kids is unnecessary.

yurmom · October 2013

I do see arrogance in post. I think saying "What's your excuse" is shameful. If she wanted it to be inspirational she should've captioned it with something positive like "You can do it!" or something lame like that. She's an AW.

yurmom · October 2013

And people really do have valid "excuses." Screw her.

yurmom · October 2013

MeatandBandP said:
Shes promoting her fitness website. Should trainer's never promote with pictures of themselves? She looks amazing. The biggest advertisement she has for her business is how she looks. My gym has pictures of people with amazing bodies all over, should I be offended?

Not the same.

samantha1477 · October 2013

I think the only thing offensive is her assumption that people don't look like that out of laziness. Personally I wouldn't want to look like that. I like to stay a little softer, it makes me feel sexier

Rocknroll64 · October 2013

It is totally unrealistic for a woman 8 months post partum to look like that, and it's crap like that that make new mom's feel ashamed of their post partum bodies.

Also she's a recovering bulimic, I don't think she should be putting so much value in how skinny/fit she looks while recovering from a very dangerous eating disorder. It's a slippery slope.

tealowl · October 2013

I don't think she's trying to insult anyone, but the title of her picture I don't really like. I would have liked it better saying, "You can do this!" or something more positive.

And the fact that people think she's a bad mother for exercising is ridiculous. Taking time for yourself to exercise isn't a bad thing. I'm at the gym a few days out of the week or more, and I would be hurt if someone thought I was being a bad mom and neglecting my child. You don't need to velcro yourselves to your child/children every day. My mom makes passive aggressive comments to me a lot about it and it hurts.

And I do NOT look like I go to the gym as much as I do. I'm still learning how to exercise and figure out what my body responds to best. I won't ever be ripped, and that's okay. I'd like to be a little smaller and more toned. My belly pooch is sloooowwwllly getting smaller and that makes me happy. I'm at the gym at least an hour 3-4 times a week but DD comes with me a lot and hangs out in the day care and 'babysits' the little ones.

Ugh, weight shaming is horrible. You're shamed for being small and you're shamed for being big.

bunkgirl · October 2013

While I am not offended by this at all... I do not think I would ever be motivated by a stranger pointing out I am making excuses...I'm more likely to tell that person to fuck off. I like positive motivation, not someone questioning my choices.

WillCMyInk · October 2013

At the end of the day it's all about personal priorities. For some that may just be letting the weight slowly come off and embracing the new squishier you. For others that may mean dropping the weight as quickly as possible and getting a rock in' bod.

I refuse to force my personal priorities on anyone, and I don't think we should judge based on those either.

Empireceo · October 2013

AlphaSierra said:

sweetTea42 said:

I hate how it's a competition to lose baby weight. Celebrities hide themselves for 6-8 weeks to make sure they can return to the spotlight in a size 2. It was refreshing to see The Duchess of Cambridge come out in her post delivery belly not trying to hide it

Snooki is the worst. She just looks gross now!

You do realize this is body shaming too, right?

joshua+rebecca11 · October 2013

I think how you take it totally depends on how you feel about your body already. It's great that she has worked hard to keep in shape (even if all of us don't get washboard abs...lol, my husband has practically forbidden me to get a six pack!), and I think she was trying to be an inspiration to others, not shame them. I am happy with my body as it is now, and fully intend to get it back in shape after I have kids! It's all in where your priorities are, if you don't want to look like that after you have kids, that's great. I think it's a bummer people can't just try to see what she was trying to do instead of tearing her down for it!

Pintobean39 · October 2013

I'm not offended by it.

I wish I was a lot more fit than I am now, maybe not as far as she's in it. After I had my first son I was back in my size 1 within a month but it took me a year to lose my weight with my second and I only got back unto a 4/5. I've always been a fairly active person but have slowed down a lot in the past few years (not by choice). Actually it makes me want to go to the gym, but I'm not right now.

Pintobean39 · October 2013

oursecretelopement said:

joshua+rebecca11 said:

I think how you take it totally depends on how you feel about your body already. It's great that she has worked hard to keep in shape (even if all of us don't get washboard abs...lol, my husband has practically forbidden me to get a six pack!), and I think she was trying to be an inspiration to others, not shame them. I am happy with my body as it is now, and fully intend to get it back in shape after I have kids! It's all in where your priorities are, if you don't want to look like that after you have kids, that's great. I think it's a bummer people can't just try to see what she was trying to do instead of tearing her down for it!

My husband doesn't like 6 packs on ladies either, I asked him. I am on the fence about them.

My son told me the other day ..."why have a 6 pack when you can have the whole Keg"

Personally I don't care to have one I just want to be healthy and no muffin top.

Marcilene1 · October 2013

Ugh. The picture is awesome. Good for her I guess, but it is her job, right? The "What's your excuse?" BS makes me say, "Fuck you bitch my excuse is a torn perineum, bleeding tits, and a colicky baby that won't stop screaming half the night."

MrsN6912 · October 2013

Good grief. When did we become the land of the offended?
It's just a stupid picture. So she's in shape 8 months after having her third baby? Good for her! The "What's your excuse?" Was not meant to be rude. She says she actually meant it for the opposite. To inspire!
I hate that people sit around and over analyze everything. And constantly think everyone out there is malicious.
It's just a picture. It's just a question.

tealowl · October 2013

bbg676 said:

Am I the only one that had a red flag go up when she said she was a recovering bulimic?

Good for her if she wants to be in shape and finds the time, but eating disorders can transfer into other ones, including hypergymnasia (over-exercising). Her attachment of fitspo quotes/comments, which, honestly, are identical to quotes used by thinspo/pro-ana bloggers, worries me that she's still engaged in, and unintentionally promoting, a disordered lifestyle.

Her insistence that she's 'not naturally thin', but is able to have the body she does in only five one-hour sessions a week, leaves a funny taste in my mouth. I don't believe her statements one bit. And her non-apology was stupid. 'Fitspo' is the new, socially-approved 'thinspo', but it doesn't mean it's any healthier or safer, mentally or physically.

This!

I just recently read an article about this whole 'fitspo' craze, I'm trying to find the link. I think ALOT of it is very similar to thinspo/pro-ana/mia pictures and 'motivational' memes.

It's very frustrating. I follow a lot of fitspo people on Instagram, but I've had to unfollow many more after their IG's become cluttered with these shitty quotes like 'Strong is the new skinny' and whatnot. One lady I unfollowed because she took a video while out walking of a heavier girl in front of her wearing short shorts and making fun of her thighs. WTF?

No. Strong is just being strong. I'm stronger than I was last year but I'm not skinny.

I was inspired at first by before/after photos and tons of food pics/new recipe ideas, but now it seems all that I'm looking at is very skinny women who have filtered their photos to give more muscle def and they are always pulling down their underwear to show the tops of their vaginas? It just gets so porny looking.

It's causing me to be less motivated by seeing those pictures. I'd like to see a variety of women, both skinny and not skinny. There's nothing wrong with being skinny and/or having a muscular body. It's just what we ONLY see, and that's a problem. I just want to see variety.

I also find it disheartening that men and women think muscular women are gross. 6 packs aren't just for men. It's okay to be athletic or very muscular if you are a woman. A spouse shouldn't tell you what type of body he wants you to have or not have.

MrsN6912 · October 2013

MrsN6912 said:

Good grief. When did we become the land of the offended?
It's just a stupid picture. So she's in shape 8 months after having her third baby? Good for her! The "What's your excuse?" Was not meant to be rude. She says she actually meant it for the opposite. To inspire!
I hate that people sit around and over analyze everything. And constantly think everyone out there is malicious.
It's just a picture. It's just a question.

Whether she intended to be rude or not, she was. And her non-apology confirms that.

Her "non-apology" was in poor taste. But I have to admit... I would probably get defensive if people were generalizing that I was a bad person and more importantly a bad mother simply because I was in shape.
The original picture was not rude.
The masses of people putting negative comments out there were far more rude.
But Yea I admit, her non apology was not So nice.
She could have made a much better impact had she sincerely apologized for offending anyone.

kleigh926 · October 2013

MrsN6912 said:

Good grief. When did we become the land of the offended? It's just a stupid picture. So she's in shape 8 months after having her third baby? Good for her! The "What's your excuse?" Was not meant to be rude. She says she actually meant it for the opposite. To inspire! I hate that people sit around and over analyze everything. And constantly think everyone out there is malicious. It's just a picture. It's just a question.

I don't believe it was meant to inspire for a second. "What's your excuse?" is an accusatory statement IMO, not an inspiring one. And even if the statement hadn't been there, just the picture alone seems awfully braggy. The vast majority of people aren't going to look like that even if they do work out an hour a day, especially after having kids. Being healthy should always be encouraged, but I don't believe that was her only intention.

Oh, and I'm not offended by it. I just think it was a very poor move on her part.

MeggoWaffles · October 2013

BrazilianPeach said:
We must be talking of different things. I fail to see how "Fitness is like marriage, you can't cheat on it and expect it to work" promotes anorexia. And yes I took those from my daily quotes.

It's a stretch in my opinion. Guess we'll agree to disagree.

I'm not trying to be confrontational, but as someone recovering from an eating disorder. I find that sentence extremely triggering. When your "rules" include eating no more than 400 cals a day, and eating more is compared to cheating on your spouse, the guilt can be overwhelming. For someone with a "normal" attitude towards food or exercise, it's harmless. But for someone with disordered thinking, it's dangerous.

Just my opinion.

ETA: I don't look at fitspo because it bothers me. If it inspires you, do what you gotta do! I'm not judging.

My feeling about the original topic is that I feel bad that people think she's s bad mother. But she is kind of condescending.

MeggoWaffles · October 2013

@bpaws. You kick so much ass it's redonkulous.

seventhumbs · October 2013

As with anything like this, I am less angry at the individual and more angry at the system that exists that allows behavior/attitudes like hers to pass as acceptable. There are many other body types besides rock-hard abs and 0% body fat that are healthy. Her post does not imply that; it suggests an impossible-for-most ideal.

tealowl · October 2013

Holley Mangold rules. She's strong, but obviously not skinny. She can lift over 500lbs. It's a shame she's not a fitness inspiration.

Kyselova · October 2013

I can see how the "what's your excuse" caption could definitely be seen as offensive. But I also think, if she can find the time to fit in a workout five days a week, while taking care of three kids, and working, then kudos to her. Not every woman can do that (and it's not because they're lazy, by any means), and I think it's awesome that she's worked so hard to get back in shape, and still kept up with her other priorities.

I'm kinda on the fence I guess. By no means would I see her as a bad mother, or any of the comments people have sent her way, and I respect her working so hard, but I disagree with her caption, and think that was a poor choice of words. To me, it does kinda come off as an attack, even though I understand the message behind it.

tealowl · October 2013

One of my class instructers at my gym says at EVERY class, "If you feel dizzy or noshes, stop and let me check on you."

You should never continue to work out until you throw up or pass out. Ugh, such a dangerous message.

(I totally spelled nauseous wrong on purpose guyz)

sister13 · October 2013

tealowl said:

One of my class instructers at my gym says at EVERY class, "If you feel dizzy or noshes, stop and let me check on you."

You should never continue to work out until you throw up or pass out. Ugh, such a dangerous message.

(I totally spelled nauseous wrong on purpose guyz)

I was like "Et tu, Teal?" A scary moment there.

tealowl · October 2013

sister13 said:

tealowl said:

One of my class instructers at my gym says at EVERY class, "If you feel dizzy or noshes, stop and let me check on you."

You should never continue to work out until you throw up or pass out. Ugh, such a dangerous message.

(I totally spelled nauseous wrong on purpose guyz)
I was like "Et tu, Teal?" A scary moment there.

I was thissclose to just seeing who would catch that without me saying anything.

samantha1477 · October 2013

tealowl said:

sister13 said:

tealowl said:

One of my class instructers at my gym says at EVERY class, "If you feel dizzy or noshes, stop and let me check on you."

You should never continue to work out until you throw up or pass out. Ugh, such a dangerous message.

(I totally spelled nauseous wrong on purpose guyz)
I was like "Et tu, Teal?" A scary moment there.
I was thissclose to just seeing who would catch that without me saying anything.

My fiance would do something like that. He spelled medicine "Medasin" in a text one day. He is an engineer, and not the train kind. I hope he is better with numbers than letters

seventhumbs · October 2013

tealowl said:

sister13 said:

tealowl said:

One of my class instructers at my gym says at EVERY class, "If you feel dizzy or noshes, stop and let me check on you."

You should never continue to work out until you throw up or pass out. Ugh, such a dangerous message.

(I totally spelled nauseous wrong on purpose guyz)
I was like "Et tu, Teal?" A scary moment there.
I was thissclose to just seeing who would catch that without me saying anything.

At first I was like

And then I was like

Pintobean39 · October 2013

oursecretelopement said:
This post inspired my run. No joke.
I had a crap day, I have crap drama going on, my job sucks, I have cramps like wow-ow.
No excuse? I guess if mommy can exercise with 3 little kids running her down I can too.
Fastest 4.5 mile run for me EVER (according to runkeeper).

Great job!!!

It inspired me NOT to have the chocolate chip cookie and to get on the floor and try to do yoga and Pilate stretches. I went to the gym already and did my 30 min on elliptical and 30 on the bicycle.

teresaide · October 2013

It annoys me how everyone gets all up in arms about stuff like this that gets posted online. If you don't like it, ignore it. Then move on. Why is this concept so hard?

nursek84 · October 2013

The pic doesn't bother me. Even if I had a stomach like that it would do me no good because my stomach is loaded with stretch marks after having DD. My bikini wearing days are over I guess lol

AlphaSierra · October 2013

Empireceo said:

AlphaSierra said:

sweetTea42 said:

I hate how it's a competition to lose baby weight. Celebrities hide themselves for 6-8 weeks to make sure they can return to the spotlight in a size 2.
It was refreshing to see The Duchess of Cambridge come out in her post delivery belly not trying to hide it

Snooki is the worst. She just looks gross now!

You do realize this is body shaming too, right?

Touché. I don't agree with the way she looks, though. It gives girls a misconception on what a healthy body image is. There is a huge difference between looking healthy and looking malnourished. GTL is all based on vanity anyways so I'm sure she'd consider the fact that I think she's "too skinny" a compliment.

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