Introduction ... Going through a loss ... (DD mentioned ... old ticker warning)

rellicdragon · October 2013

Hi,

I am currently going through a missed miscarriage. I am looking for some support or advice about what to expect. This is my second loss and my third pregnancy. I do have a daughter that I m really thankful for but still the loss is really hard to bear.

I went to the obgyn for 3 ultrasounds, one each week starting sept 27. At first they only saw a gestational sack, second time they saw a yolk sack but no fetal pole, they did betas and my hcg levels were 18000+ so they were concerned that they should have seen more. I just went for a third ultrasound yesterday and they still didn't see anything (no heartbeat, no fetal pole).

The obgyn told me that she doesn't think this pregnancy will go anywhere and that I should have a D&C. Should I wait and see if my body will natually miscarry like it did with the last miscarriage or should I go through a D&C? I have tired researching but couldn't find much on google about when a natual miscarriage might occur. Also the doctor mentioned that as it is my second loss, if I have a third loss I will be considered high risk and I will have to go to a high risk specialist if I ever wanted to get pregnant again.

I am so sorry for writing such a long post. I am just confused and lost and scared about what to expect and a emotional mess.

thanks for any advice

I wish you all the best

Update: The obgyn called and told me that she wants me to go through a D&C so I will be going through D&C on Thursday

libby+nate · October 2013

So sorry for your loss! I had a D&C and I 100% recommend because I was 12 weeks (baby was 10) my placenta was actually still attached with good blood flowing. I hemorrhaged on the table (rare) and they had to I inject methegrine into the uterus to clamp it down. If I had taken the medication at home I could have had serious complications - bleeding and possible emergency hysterectomy. I am so grateful that the procedure was fairly painless physically and my body was nowhere close to naturally doing it. My hormone levels were on track and my uterus and placenta were growing. I know my situation is a little different but I hope it helps. Again, I'm so sorry you find yourself here. (Hugs!)

rellicdragon · October 2013

Thanks,

I will be going in to sign concent papers today and will have a D&C on thursday,

I just want this to be over ...

libby+nate · October 2013

Prayers for a smooth recovery for you! I felt like I could move along with my emotional healing once the procedure was done. Hope this is the same for you!

LizBlue · October 2013

good luck on thursday @rellicdragon! I hope you have an uneventful procedure and recovery. For me, the lead up to the procedure was worse than the actual d&c. They will most likely give you an iv ahead of time which they will use to give you an antibiotic and hopefully something to relax you. They gave me light sedation and I fell asleep. When I woke up it was over. I was able to leave as soon as I peed (less than an hour after waking up). I had very minimal bleeding and pain afterwards but I did feel incredibly loopy/sad/tired immediately after the procedure.

Another pitfall (for me) was about 3-4 days after when the reality and finality of everything hit me--and the world was still going on around me. I suspect this is a big hormone crash as well as natural grieving. Take good care of yourself.

@libby+nate That sounds scary. I'm glad you are ok.

Frenchteachermama · October 2013

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a similar time line back in August and the doctor gave me misoprostol on 8/14. I waited another 5 weeks for my beta levels to go down and when they didn't an ultrasound revealed remaining tissue. So after all of that pain I had to have a D&C on 9/24. I wish my doctor had recommended a D&C in the beginning because I feel like I had to go through 2 miscarriages and it prolonged my TTC time. I know my doctor had good intentions of trying to avoid the surgical procedure, but in the end it just set me back another 6 weeks. One of the hardest things I am dealing with is all of the waiting and not knowing and hoping. At least with the D&C you know it's over and you can try to heal and move on. Whatever decision you make it right for you, just here to offer some support!

rellicdragon · October 2013

Thanks for the support

I am mentally trying to prepare myself right now

Dana&Pete · October 2013

So sorry for your loss and that you have to go through this. I also had a missed miscarriage. I waited a week for it to happen naturally, than took the pills (which did not work), then had a D&C a week later. The worst part is the anticipation, the actual procedure was simple and a very fast recovery. I found it helpful to read other experiences on this board when I was nervous about the procedure. I hope this helps and let us know how it goes on Thursday.

megrae12 · October 2013

I am so sorry for your loss! I am sorry you are finding yourself here. I hope everything goes smoothly for you on Thursday. You will be in my T & P's! Please let us know how everything goes. ((Hugs))

Jonemeli · October 2013

I had a D&C about 3 weeks ago. It left me feeling empty (literally, like I had been emptied out). It was the best option for me because it put an end to it all... Meaning the end to knowing I was carrying around an empty sac with no baby in it, which was a hard fact for me to swallow. My mom actually recommended getting the D&C, because going through a natural miscarriage at home could be very upsetting and potentially dangerous because of hemmoraging.
After the procedure I felt very drained and sad... Physically, I am back to "normal" which feels nice, but emotionally, I just have to remember to give myself time. In time, it won't hurt so bad... Good luck to you and God bless you and your family.

LizBlue · October 2013

Thinking of you today @rellicdragon Hope your procedure went ok and that you're resting and beginning to heal.

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Introduction ... Going through a loss ... (DD mentioned ... old ticker warning)

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