Should a student be suspended for picking up a drunk friend?

ASmallWonder · October 2013

https://www.myfoxboston.com/story/23681213/north-andover-teen-allegedly-punished-for

This is happening locally. A high school student drank at a party and called a friend (also a high school student) to pick her up so she could get home safely. When the sober friend arrived, the police were there and even though the officer vouched for her sobriety, she was summoned to court with the other party goers. Her being summoned to court prompted her school to suspend her and strip her of her captain title for her volleyball team.

Fair or not fair? What message does that send to kids? That underage drinking is wrong, hard stop? or If you make a bad choice, don't seek out a safe way out/don't help a friend?

bumpuser1691848 · October 2013

That's bullshit. That's teaching kids "Hey, if your drunk friend calls you for a ride, don't pick them up. Just let them drive drunk and wreck and maybe kill themselves or someone else."

She's being punished for doing the right thing.

CinemaGoddess · October 2013

Nope. That is some bullshit right there. Fuck that school district. She was helping out a friend and preventing said friend from staying in a place where she didn't want to be. She was a designated driver. She did not partake in the alcohols.

She was doing a friend a solid and the stupid zero-tolerance policy of the school was taken too fucking far.

WasNotWas · October 2013

Agree with what everyone else said. My brain is exploding on how stupid this is.

CindyRelluh · October 2013

Wow, that's ridiculous. Whoever made that decision is a douchecanoe.

ASmallWonder · October 2013

Love tits to all - it's total bullshit. The school's argument sounds too much like "If we don't give them condoms, they won't have sex! Problem solved!"

missyishere · October 2013

If I were the parents, I would start a riot.

CinemaGoddess · October 2013

I really want to know if anyone on the internet thinks this is a good idea.

angelashly · October 2013

It's stupid.I didn't read the article, but why did she get a court summons? I think that is kind of a fail too.

WasNotWas · October 2013

CinemaGoddess said:

I really want to know if anyone on the internet thinks this is a good idea.

To be fair, we are a bunch of neglectful alcoholics, so our opinions might be skewed...

Rach7170 · October 2013

This is such bullshit. I hope that school district gets a lot of pressure to reinstate her and fucking right what they did wrong.

littlestjerry · October 2013

I don't understand what she was charged with.

JackoftheBox · October 2013

CinemaGoddess said:

Nope. That is some bullshit right there. Fuck that school district. She was helping out a friend and preventing said friend from staying in a place where she didn't want to be. She was a designated driver. She did not partake in the alcohols.

She was doing a friend a solid and the stupid zero-tolerance policy of the school was taken too fucking far.

This. Well said @cinemagoddess

ASmallWonder · October 2013

Little Jerry said:

I don't understand what she was charged with.

I don't know but I'm guessing it has something to do with being a minor at a party with drinking. I don't know what the legal term would be. Too bad the cop couldn't apply some common fucking sense i.e. she just drove up to pick up a friend = not one of the party kids

littlestjerry · October 2013

Oh, but, no, you shouldn't be punished for being a DD, no matter what age you are.

missyishere · October 2013

CinemaGoddess said:

I really want to know if anyone on the internet thinks this is a good idea.

I'm willing to put some cash money down and say a few posters in A14 or M14 might agree with the school.

CinemaGoddess · October 2013

missyishere said:

CinemaGoddess said:

I really want to know if anyone on the internet thinks this is a good idea.

I'm willing to put some cash money down and say a few posters in A14 or M14 might agree with the school.

They don't count. They're full of the parasitic stupid right now.

RondackHiker · October 2013

If I was her mom I would pitch a fit and would tell her I was more proud of her than I had ever been.

I'd be so creaking pissed. I'm pissed and I don't know her.

Rach7170 · October 2013

If my kid had to choose between picking up his drunk friend and possibly getting in trouble and staying home because of a possible suspension, I hope he chooses to pick up his friend. We will deal with the shitty consequences later, but they are better than finding out that your friend killed themselves or others by trying to drive home because you didn't come.

CinemaGoddess · October 2013

LoisLayn23 said:

You can't get a Minor in Possession unless you are a minor in possession, either by drinking or holding a bottle.

In my HS, everyone vouched for the athletes. Even if word got around that they were at the party, everyone knew to say "No, Lois was only there to pick someone up and she didnt' drink at all."

It sounds like she was legitimately there to pick up a friend.

I hate the athlete cover-ups, like that rape that happened in MO, but this doesn't sound like that kind of situation.

LittleFish1 · October 2013

News stories are known for leaving out details & schools tend to be seen badly because they usually will cite privacy concerns when it comes to minors involved. Would question what was not included in the story (such as, did the school provide advance warning to the consequences & the exact infraction they deemed the student was guilty of; could have been related to some other expectation).

My question though is why didn't the minor tell her parents that she had a friend in need & have them drive/chaperone her to pick up the drunk friend? This is what I would expect my daughter do to if in a similar circumstance because it would be easy to get in over one's head and a drunk friend could develop alcohol poisioning.

MsMommy2012 · October 2013

This is stupid but it does happen. My little sister was wasted at a party once and called me. I was home from college for the weekend and went to go pick her up. Happened to be driving my little brother home from the movies. He was like 13 at the time. The cops arrested my totally sober little brother. I called my parents and they rushed there with the neighbor who happened to be a lawyer for the PD... But yeah. Cops can be idiots on a power trip.

I was 22, completely sober, and my attempts to talk to the stupid bitchy cop were completely shut down. She said she would arrest me.

CinemaGoddess · October 2013

According to the Buzzfeed article, she was cleared by police. They confirmed she hadn't been drinking.

And the Monday morning quarterbacking here (and in the comments sections of various articles about this story) is taking away from the fact that this girl did the right thing and is being punished for it. It shouldn't matter that she should've called her parents. It shouldn't matter that she didn't wait for her friend outside the party. Who knows what state her friend was in between when the phone call was made and when the girl arrived? It was the responsible thing to do to walk in to the party and escort her drunk friend out of said party. Any number of things could've happened to drunk girl while she was trying to leave.

Shit. We teach our kids to be responsible and take action when a friend is in need, and then we punish them when they do exactly that.

This is a horrific message to send to teenagers. Horrific.

CinemaGoddess · October 2013

This also points to the abject stupidity of having any kind of zero-tolerance policy that extends that far outside the range of school. So she's a captain of the volleyball team. Shouldn't it matter more that she helped a friend instead of just leaving her there and thinking only of her own ability to remain on said volleyball team?

GOD. This is making me angrier by the minute.

ILoveBoys · October 2013

The video I watched on this a couple hours ago said that there's a lawyer (hired by the parents?) that's trying to have the school reverse their decision. The other girls on the team are in full support of her.
Also her mom said no matter what happens with her volleyball year, she absolutely thinks she did the right thing and she is so proud of her.

Way to be mom

ASmallWonder · October 2013

fredalina said:

I am completely against ANY punishments in school for things that happen outside of school. So even those who were drinking should not have been suspended.

I kind of agree with this but would draw the line at an action that caused harm to another person. I don't think all police-worthy incidents are things that need to be addressed in the school.

thetheisens · October 2013

Yeah, that's some bullshit. She did the responsible thing and she didn't consume any alcohol herself AND she wasn't actually even at the party, she just picked up her friend. When I was a teenage I wouldn't have gotten my parents involved either, for fear that they would have told my friend's parent and she would have gotten in trouble. They are discouraging responsible behavior and doing this will not put in end to teenage drinking, so what the point of making an example of her really?

When I was in college the police use to wait for the bars to close and stop people walking home to breathalyze them and then arrest them for public intox. All the parking downtown also was a no parking zone from 2 am to 5 am, you would get a ticket for leaving your car overnight, so if you drove downtown and then got a ride home you would have a ticket the next morning. I know the parking ticket is nothing compared to a DWI, but drunk college students have poor decision skills sometimes.

ASmallWonder · October 2013

fredalina said:

fredalina said:

I am completely against ANY punishments in school for things that happen outside of school. So even those who were drinking should not have been suspended.

I kind of agree with this but would draw the line at an action that caused harm to another person. I don't think all police-worthy incidents are things that need to be addressed in the school.
Nope. That's why there are courts. If she harms another person and gets arrested, the courts can decide her punishment, not the school (assuming it happened off school property and not in a school related activity like a game or something, then the school can be involved). I am more ok with a school stripping a kid of an "honor" related title, like honor society or valedictorian, but not suspension or straight up punishment. Not their concern.

I'm thinking of it in terms of the person being a potential physical threat to other students. For example, if a guy sexually assaults a girl, I'd be ok with the school deciding that he's a risk to the other students.

Smootchy · October 2013

I didn't read the article just your summary.

IMO, total bullshit. She did the right thing. I even got the warm fuzzy's thinking she was probably the right choice as the captain of the volleyball team and it's heart breaking to think she got striped of the honor.

CinemaGoddess · October 2013

AuburnGirlSC said:

I watched a video on this on Yahoo last night. Her mom did take the school to court and the judge upheld the school's decision. However, according to the girl's lawyer, the school's lawyer told the judge that the student had been arrested, and she was not. They are still fighting and the girl's mother is very supportive. She did say that her daughter was distraught at missing 5 games and being demoted from captain.

Is it legal for a lawyer to do this in court?

Smootchy · October 2013

I should've just read your summary and not watched the clip. I wanted to punch that news guy on like 3 different occasions.

Smootchy · October 2013

I with hold my judgement till I know what her charge is

what if they were the party police and she was being charged for not having fun:

colliebabe · October 2013

Stupid school.

I didn't read all of the replies here, but MA just passed the "911 Good Samaritan" law where if a person who calls 911 to get help for a friend who is overdosing cannot get in trouble for being on drugs themselves. I think the same should apply to this girl since she was doing the right thing (and was not even under the influence!)

peekaboo716 · October 2013

I think at my high school, if you were a student athlete and had signed the student athlete form, if you were at a party that was busted, you could get in trouble for being there. Was she breaking curfew? Because that's a big deal in the city I live in, and the police would be all over a kid out after curfew unsupervised.

edited for spelling

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