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Babies on the Brain
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Oh, ya know, just venting.

CowgirlK39CowgirlK39 member
edited October 2013 in Babies on the Brain
My SIL had her baby last week, and everyone is overjoyed. SIL expressed to me though that she was worried about her parents constant inability to understand boundaries. MIL is notorious for doing whatever she wants and then getting mad when she is told no. She also cannot stand being left out of anything, ever. So we told SIL we would give her time to enjoy being a new mom and see her when she was settled at home. We agreed that we would bring food and spend a quiet evening with SIL and her DH.
She called me this morning to say that's he accidentally told MIL that we planned to hang out and MIL demanded she be invited. We agreed, just to avoid drama, and since SIL seemed okay with her coming over. Then, SIL asked me to invite BIL as well. Well, he can't do anything without his 18 year old gf so now instead of hanging out with just SIL and her DH and the new baby, we are buying food for the WHOLE FAMILY. I'm a bit annoyed but my DH said "if this is what she wants then we have to go with it." I can't help but feel like we are being taken advantage of. This is the same Thing that happened with her gender reveal. She hosted the party but we were all responsible for bringing food, and when it was over, it was MIL who took all of it home..
okay end vent. I'm just a bit annoyed and needed to blab. Thanks for reading.
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Re: Oh, ya know, just venting.

  • yellowrose314yellowrose314 member
    Is she the type to take advantage? If not, she's probably just grateful that you were willing to cook and didn't think you would mind, and she's probably sleep-deprived and exhausted out of her tree with new baby. Still though, you shouldn't be expected to pony up double the cash it's going to take to feed the extra people. So let her know. I like @hischelseababy 's suggestion of the potluck.

    And also... gross gender reveal, hosting her own party and then getting everyone else to pay for food. That's just peachy.
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  • CowgirlK39CowgirlK39 member
    DH ended up asking BIL to pitch in, since he and his gf chowed down on what we brought. But now I'm pissed about something else. MIL texted DH and complained that I did not contact her when I returned home from my business trip Friday. I'm sorry, I didn't know I needed to check in with you? She did not show up at SILs house because FIL wasn't feeling well, and that's just fine. I do not have time for this crap. I just do not get how some people can be so ridiculous.
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  • obxlaurakobxlaurak member
    Posts like these remind me why I'm so happy to live far away from mine and my husband's parents.  :)

    That's just annoying!   Are you 5 and need to check in? 

    You need to firmly set up some boundaries now before a baby comes in the picture.  And DH needs to have your back.
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  • rjeller32rjeller32 member
    If my SIL did that, I would go straight to her, and say "I cannot afford to buy everyone dinner, which is why it wasn't supposed to be everyone." if she pitches a fit, then let her have it. Maybe letting MIL or BIL know beforehand that SIL wants to get everyone together, but "hey we can't afford to feed an entire basketball team."

    I go with honesty. And if my SIL or any IL of mine got mad about that, well that is their own petty bull shit they can stew over. I'd rather be honest and give options then fork it out and bitch in my head.
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  • Jmgresham22Jmgresham22 member
    hischelseababy said:

    I would tell SIL that you aren't able to double the amount of food you were planning on bringing on such a short notice and offer to bring her dinner on some other night. Then suggest potluck or takeout as an alternative.

    If it was an on going problem where I felt like my generosity was being taken advantage of, I wouldn't put myself out to accommodate them.

    Edited grammar

    That^^^
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