I know it's early, Christmas present for DCP

Vol4life · October 2013

DD attending a new center in town (open 14 months), she goes PT, usually 2 days per week. She has been attending since June. I was thinking about taking baked good one morning and maybe a GC for the center to use for supplies or something. Usually the owner's wife is in DD's room with a few assistants. Thoughts?

mommymegan831 · October 2013

I think baked goods is good. Last year because the kids had quite a few different teachers/ aides I got a $5 gift card for Dunkin Doughnuts gift card for their 3 main teachers and sent in bagels/ muffins for the staff. I think a gift card for supplies would be nice, but not really necessary and may or may not be appreciated. I think a gift should be to show someone how much you appreciate them, I'm just not sure that message would come across with that type of gift card.

sillygirlio · October 2013

Please don't do baked goods, there are sooooo many baked goods floating around a daycare during December that they can't possibly be eaten without the entire staff having to buy new pants. Also, you never know who can eat what... I have an allergy to wheat and so baked goods would be torture to me instead of a gift! If my child was in a center I would get small gifts cards for the teachers my child sees regularly. If my child were in an in-home with on or two adults I would get nice gifts for the provider. Do as much as you can reasonably afford, these people care for the most important people in your life! Also, not to say you *have* to do something expensive, but DC providers will remember who showed appreciation and who didn't, and it's not the budget that matters as much as the thought that goes into the gift. I remember with great fondness the family who brought me fruit rollups because Mom knew I loved them but wouldn't buy them for myself. I also loved the new scarf and 2 hour massage another family gave me, but I was not impressed when the family with the most money and the brattiest kids stiffed me last Christmas. Did I take it out on the kid? NO! But a token of appreciation would have made it a little less annoying when, a month later, she brought her child in who was puking from the stomach flu not 12 hours prior (we have a 24 hour rule) which in turn made me sick, which meant I had to close for two days... which was inconvenient for all the other families and meant I lost the income necessary to pay my car payment that month and had to pull from savings. Thankfully, those people are no longer here.

I'm sorry, I seem to have turned your post into my personal venting station. The moral here is do as much as you can and make it as personal as possible.

WBMom · October 2013

I get each of my kids regular teachers a GC to Target/Starbucks or the like - usually I know where they frequent and what they may not slurge on themselves. A good idea they like was a gift certificate to the local Chamber of Commerce and then they could use it at a variety of different local businesses. I will get the frequent floaters a smaller gc amount. A couple of us moms get together and have lunch catered in one day (we take orders for Jimmy Johns and have it delivered). While I know I pay a ton for DC, the teachers themselves make close to minimum wage and I know they appreciate any gesture.

court115 · October 2013

DS has four teachers that he sees regularly. Three that do mornings and lunch break for his main teacher and then his main teacher. I was going to get each of them $5 gift cards to Dunkin Donuts and then something bigger for his main teacher.

scrappingcat · October 2013

I do think something should be given to DCP, even if it is a homemade card from the family. In my mind our DCP should get an extremely generous gift/bonus at the holidays. She takes care of the most important thing in our lives for a significant portion of his days. She does not charge an arm and a leg to do this (in-home) and provides an amazing preschool curriculum. We typically give a cash bonus (from us) and a gift from DS that he helps pick. He wants to get her something with coffee (which she loves) so we are going to get her a Keurig machine. For his previous provider he was able to help pick something last year. She loved scarves so we found a beautiful infinity scarf for her from him.

sillygirlio · October 2013

beaubecca said:

sillygirlio said:

Please don't do baked goods, there are sooooo many baked goods floating around a daycare during December that they can't possibly be eaten without the entire staff having to buy new pants. Also, you never know who can eat what... I have an allergy to wheat and so baked goods would be torture to me instead of a gift! If my child was in a center I would get small gifts cards for the teachers my child sees regularly. If my child were in an in-home with on or two adults I would get nice gifts for the provider. Do as much as you can reasonably afford, these people care for the most important people in your life! Also, not to say you *have* to do something expensive, but DC providers will remember who showed appreciation and who didn't, and it's not the budget that matters as much as the thought that goes into the gift. I remember with great fondness the family who brought me fruit rollups because Mom knew I loved them but wouldn't buy them for myself. I also loved the new scarf and 2 hour massage another family gave me, but I was not impressed when the family with the most money and the brattiest kids stiffed me last Christmas. Did I take it out on the kid? NO! But a token of appreciation would have made it a little less annoying when, a month later, she brought her child in who was puking from the stomach flu not 12 hours prior (we have a 24 hour rule) which in turn made me sick, which meant I had to close for two days... which was inconvenient for all the other families and meant I lost the income necessary to pay my car payment that month and had to pull from savings. Thankfully, those people are no longer here.
I'm sorry, I seem to have turned your post into my personal venting station. The moral here is do as much as you can and make it as personal as possible.

Wow this rubbed me the wrong way, I have to admit. I was a DCP for 6 years and went on to be a teacher for two years and I never ever held a grudge over who did or did not provide gifts. Is it nice to feel appreciated and recognized during the holiday season when everyone is receiving cheerful thank you tokens? Of course. But did I keep a mental list of who's parents gave me what and when? No way.
Please remember that these are difficult economic times and you never know a parent's situation. Daycare is freaking expensive and sometimes it's all a parent can do to keep their kid going so they can hold down a job. And they may not have the time or resources to do something "nice and personal." or anything at all. They are, however, paying you for the service that you are providing, which is all that is required.

OP - I think anything you choose is nice. If you have time, a "hand-made" thank you card from your child can go a long way on it's own or with a small gift card for coffee or box of cookies/candy. Not everything has to be pinterest-worthy!

I think you read a little more into this than you should have... I didn't say I was keeping a mental list of who gave and who didn't! That would be ridiculous... but I only have four families, so it's not hard to remember. Ha! All I meant was that it's a sign of not being taken seriously or being appreciated... and it is! I was so happy to receive the $2 box of fruit rollup that I cried, not because they were expensive but because they came from the heart. The family who brought nothing was an incredibly inconsiderate family all around... didn't follow any of my rules, didn't pay on time, and broke the 24 hour rule for illness more than once. For her to break my rules and bring her sick child here was incredibly inconsiderate particularly because it cost me $350 in a down economy! The money flows both ways.

To the OP, just do something thoughtful, that's all you need to do!

sillygirlio · October 2013

ArkansasMom22 said:

Wow, I am happy my DCP isn't sillygirlio...my view is I pay my daycare for my child to go there and Christmas gifts are not a requirement but an added thank you. If you want to give something you shouldn't be judged on what it is and how much it is! Last year DS had 4 teachers so we gave them each a gift card to their favorite restaurant ($20) and I made Christmas cookies and gave them each a tin. It is the thought that counts, and it sounds like at your center it may make more sense to do a group gift. To judge a family that looks like they have money and expect more from them is terrible. Just because they make a lot (or you think they do) doesn't mean they can afford gifts for you, they may have other expenses you aren't aware of or maybe they don't celebrate Holidays.

Again, I think you're over reacting... but that's fine. I have a feeling the happiness is mutual.

ss+el · October 2013

Along the lines of sillygirlio's fruit rollups, I am getting DS' PreK teacher a package of Oreos, because she recently professed to me just how much she loves them.
He also has two daycare teachers and two PreK associates, (am is daycare, pm is PreK) so unless I discover a great love of someplace like Starbucks, everyone will be getting GC's to Target.
I send in stuff from the teacher's classroom wish list on an as-needed basis too.

sillygirlio · October 2013

Quote tree truncated for brevity...

This is where we disagree. I don't think holiday extras should equate being appreciative and I especially don't think they equate being taken seriously. I think if someone has selected you to take care of their child then that shows they take you seriously.
You might only have four kids so that does make it easier for you to remember, but I still think it sounds like you hold a mental judgement around that time of year based on what kind of "thank you" you get.

I could see it if someone is down right rude and doesn't acknowledge you in any way it might be a little odd. But not everyone celebrates the holidays the same way so I sure wouldn't take it personally.

Well, I'm sorry it sounds like I hold judgment against a family due to a missing holiday gift... and re-reading the original post, it might... so to be clear, I DO have a negative opinion about that family but it was from over a year of disrespectful behavior and questionable parenting, not just from that particular incident. I'm not going to go into the whole questionable parenting because it's not necessary, but lets just say they told me they were going to have a high school student watch the two older ones over the summer so they could frequent the pool, but I was told by a neighbor that the 5 and 7 year olds were home alone and the dad would "pop in" to see if they were ok. When I asked she said it was true, but it was only for two weeks?!?!? Yesterday I heard they were driving around without their 2 year old in a car seats over the weekend. (We live in a very small town) These children tell their parents and strangers to shut up among other behaviors.

On the level of personal disrespect, besides bringing me sick kids, the mother was mad to the point of yelling because I look a Monday off to cram my annual physical, pap and dental exams into one day. I gave three months notice, posted a sign and put it on the daycare calendar. She forgot, but it was my fault. In fact, she would get visibly annoyed any time I took a planned vacation days (I only took 5 a year at that time) even though I always gave several months notice. The reason they left was because I had a death in the family and had to close at the last minute... she complained that it was very inconvenient for her and I should find backup for her (even though the contract she signed said she was responsible for that) not the most sympathetic response.

Come to think of it, a holiday gift probably wouldn't have helped! :P

RachieTK · October 2013

DS goes to a small licensed in home daycare. There is one main caregiver and two part time. We give the main caregiver $200 cash and the part time people $50 each. It is the norm- there are 4 other full time families and we decided on the amount together.

Netty_3 · October 2013

We typically do target or starbucks gift cards. Or something similar because we have been told that is appreciated. We also include cookies.

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