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Scared to leave.... but dont really want to stay

Leothelion2013Leothelion2013 member
in Single Parents

I am so confused. I used to be a very independent financially stable woman. Then I met this man. He treats me better than any man I have ever known. He also treats me worse than I could have ever imagined. Let me just outline some things and if u have any questions, just ask. I don't have much time. Now there are a lot of details about why he doesn't like my family..... but he made it that way. he disagrees. ANY feedback is appreciated. I am SO alone.... I have no one to talk to.

In this relationship...

I cannot drive (have no license, I have no cell phone, I cannot visit my father or 2 older children, I cannot have a FB page, All house calls are reviewed and I am questioned when he reads it, if still uncertain, he will call the number to find out who it was. I cannot see or talk to my sister. I get the cold shoulder if I refer to my past and past career. When we fight, we fight. He hits me often and leaves marks... over sill stuff. yet he....

has a FB page with 232 friends.... he wont let me see his page nor will he let me be his friend. He has a smart phone. he drives my car to work (I leave the house once a week to go to walmart... and he is with me).... he goes in the back bedroom and "works out" with the door shut.... yet I see these websites he "likes" on FB that have almost naked women on there. If I am sad... it aggravates him. When he gets mad, he breaks stuff and messes up the house wich I work VERY hard to keep clean. I am so confused. I have no income to provide anything for our baby if I was to leave.

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Re: Scared to leave.... but dont really want to stay

  • sarajc06sarajc06 member
    You need to Get out! Contact your local law enforcement and they can give you resources to getting help with getting away from this horribly controlling man. THERE ARE RESOURCES FOR EXACTLY WHAT YOUR GONG THRU. This is very important to do before the baby is born. Please please please seek help, you don't deserve this! I was in an abusive relationship for over a year and I was finally able to get out. This place helped me file an emergency protective order against him and gave me resources. do you have family that you can turn to? This would make it so much easier for you to get out.
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    Agreed.  You need to get out of that situation yesterday.  If he is like this to you, just imagine what he'll be like to your LO. For your LO's safety, for your safety, GET OUT!

    Any friend or family member nearby who could come and get you while he is not there or in the middle of the night, take YOUR car away from him. Or call the police.  There is NO reason anyone should have to live like that.  And if he tells you that he does this because he loves you, I'm sorry to say, but that just isn't true.  He loves being able to control you to the point that you can't even leave the house.  Please, for the love of god, GET OUT!  It'll be scary but in the end, you will be safer, stronger, and, more importantly, FREE.

    Please, find the strength to get out.  Much love sent your way.
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  • Monkeybird84Monkeybird84 member
    Definitely get out as soon as possible! That is not love, it's abuse and control. There are shelters all over the country for women in situations like yours. Find one near you and leave while he isn't home. They should be able to help you with getting law enforcement involved to get your car away from him. Please, for your safety and the safety of your baby GET OUT as SOON AS POSSIBLE!
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  • eg214eg214 member
    PLEASE LEAVE.

    I was in a similar situation, not pregnant, and left my husband with NOBODY around to help me, in the middle of the night, with NOTHING. I made the mistake after we divorced of thinking he had changed over the years and gotten help and now I'm 6 months in with his child and will have to deal with him the rest of my life.

    At the beginning of my pregnancy, I felt like you did. We were still together, I was miserable, but felt if I left, I would have no chance of surviving. I don't qualify for a lick of aid through the state and have an uphill battle ahead, but if you aren't working or making very little, you will. You can get housing assistance, food for you, food, formula, and diapers when baby comes, clothes, all of it. It won't be glamorous and you won't have money left over to enjoy certain things in life, but you will have enough to get you by and be out of a dangerous situation. 

    Trust me, my peace of mind is worth so much and I have no regrets on deciding to leave him again. I'm thankful to the gals on this board who helped me realize I just needed to end it.

    The situation you're in is HORRIBLE even though you can't see it now. From someone who has been there and been in bad relationships, you'll realize once you are out how much better off you are. YOU WILL and you will be fine.

    PCOS // Loss 3/2010 // Single Mom // Natural Birth // DC Metro // Baby Girl Born 2/2/2014
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  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    Please get help and leave. If hes willing to hit you what would stop him hitting lo.

    Get police involved get a restraining order, go to a battered womens shelter. Please just get out of this relationship for you and your childrens sake.
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  • Leothelion2013Leothelion2013 member
    Update... I took our baby to see my family and when I returned he would not let me in the house to get any of my stuff or our babies stuff. ...too sad to write right now.

    THAN YOU all for the support and advice. 
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  • eg214eg214 member
    Leo -

    I certainly hope that means you went/go to a neighbor, call the police, and have them meet you at your house to get your stuff and get the hell out. If you let them know you are scared, pregnant, and a victim of abuse...they will GLADLY meet you and escort you, protect you, and make sure he leaves you alone while you gather everything. Sad to say, but I've called the police to do this for me MANY times.

    PCOS // Loss 3/2010 // Single Mom // Natural Birth // DC Metro // Baby Girl Born 2/2/2014
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    We are here for you @Leothelion2013.  Like the previous poster said, call the police so that he has to let you in.  He can't legally deny you your things, ESPECIALLY not the baby's things.

    Much much love and good vibes sent your way.  I hope things start looking up for you!
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