LO spending the night with grandparents?

WriterMama924 · September 2013

At what age did you let your LO stay overnight at someone's house besides you or your SO?

My DH is out of town for the week. I'm a SAHM so I'm used to being on baby duty most of the time, but DS still gets a dreamfeed about 1 am even though he is STTN. DH usually takes that feeding, so basically I'm going to be getting crappy sleep for a week with no one to back me up if I need to take a nap, unless I arrange specifically for someone to come over.

My parents really want DS to spend the night with them, and I'd love a night off, but I'm so afraid he'll be terrified. DS is very laid back, but he also has been having some teething woes...I don't want him to feel abandoned. I do fine leaving him with them for a few hours during the day (they live like 45 mins away), but he's never stayed overnight without one of us. I just keep bouncing back and forth, wondering if he's just a little too young (8.5 months). What if he doesn't understand that I'm coming back?

kmornelas29 · September 2013

I think that's too iffy of a situation still. Maybe you can spend the night with your DS at their house, so he still has you n you have help at night n the next day for a small break.

rdbanks · September 2013

I'll be following this post...DH and I are leaving our DS with my in-laws for two nights in a couple of weeks. He's 6.5 months and I'm a bit worried. I'm a SAHM and have never NOT been there. I also worry about the
middle of the night wake-ups. Arg. Hope someone's got some good advice or words of reassurance:)

MrsG071809 · September 2013

I haven't left DD with anyone overnight yet, but for me I would only feel ok with it if it was someone she was comfortable with...she knows my mom really well so I would probably have her stay there over anywhere else. Even though she stays with MIL and SIL occasionally I don't think she "knows" them as well, and I would worry much more about her. I don't feel ready to do this yet (not so much that DD isn't ready, but I'm not! ha!), but I think some time in the next few months I may be...

Anjel_9@hotmail.com · September 2013

We've done this twice with our now 7.5mo, and she was perfectly fine. It was wonderful for everyone involved. I think that the most important thing is that your baby is already comfortable with his grandparents. If he sees them on a regular basis and 'knows' them, he should be fine. If he only sees them sporadically, he may have some anxiety.

My opinion is that you should go ahead and do it. Expect to cry a little when you're driving away, but only for a minute and then enjoy a night of freedom (and perhaps a glass of wine!) Don't feel guilty, because you're not doing anything wrong. It's important to take care of yourself, so you are in good shape to take care of him.

RN2011 · September 2013

The first time I left my DD she was 6 months. We left her with my mom to go to a wedding. She did fine and my mother really enjoyed it. Just as PP it's easier if they are comfortable with their grandparents. We try to have her sleep over either at my mom's or my father in law's so hubbie and I can get a date night. At first I was a little nervous but now I look forward to my date night!

Crequito · September 2013

DH and I let DD spend the night at my MILs at maybe 3 months? We had a wedding to go to that was a far enough drive that we didn't want to have to wake DD in the middle of the night to take her home. About a week before I had spent a night away from DD on a work trip. Coming up in a few weeks DH and I are going to Miami for a long weekend and my mom is coming to stay at our house to take care of DD. It'll be the longest I've been away from her (4 days, 4 nights) so we'll see how it goes.

ebp913 · September 2013

At this age, your baby doesn't know you are gone. That might be sad to realize but it's true. When you walk out that door, they don't miss you and they get into whatever new thing is going on. They will be super happy when you return but they don't miss you. I would totally take a night off and let the grandparents handle things if you are okay with that.

Mommymorticia · October 2013

We have been planning a camping trip all summer this weekend with several of our friends. Its supposed to rain and get down to 40 Sat night, there is no way I'm taking him. One of my friends are taking their 9 month old but I just don't want to chance that. One night my gma and gpa are going to keep him at their house, which I think will be fine, he knows them and we have stayed with them before. The other night MIL will keep him at ours. She really hasn't been around him much but is ssooo excited. I am nervous but I've decided we are going to try it.

OhBaby+2013 · October 2013

We've left him twice and plan to leave him again next month. He treats it the same as when home. So long as someone feeds him when he's hungry he is a happy guy! Go get some rest girl and enjoy the sleep and the break!!!

mpalmateer7 · October 2013

We left our 6.5 month old with my parents for three nights to go on vacation... I didn't worry about him at all! BUT!! That being said- he is VERY familiar with my parents, sees them at least once a week. I also put him down for naps at their house, weeks in advance, so he'd be comfortable with his room. And lastly, I carted over TONS of his stuff, so he'd recognize his surroundings and belongings, and so it would smell like home... Substantial effort- and totally, absolutely worth it!! Slept through the night from the start like normal, ate like usual, and had constant entertainment! He had a great time, and so did I! Bottom line (in my opinion)- make the effort to plan and practice ahead of time! Everyone has a better time.

=Lee=B · October 2013

We left our 3 month old with my mom, brother and SIL (here at our house) for 40 hours to go to a wedding. It was by no means glorious since I was breastfeeding and had to pump every 2hrs day and night lol. But baby did just fine. We haven't done it since as all our family lives 20 hours away and the few members that live close have no interest.

My cousin leaves her baby with grandma and grandpa every Saturday night and has since he was a few months old (now 12months). He is formula fed so it is easier. They are all very happy with it.

I say let baby spend the night...tell your mom if it is really not working and baby is upset to call you...you can drive there and stay the rest of the night. Odds are they will do just fine and you will get a night off. Chances are you will be nervous but hopefully you enjoy yourself and you may all like it so much that it becomes a monthly thing for you all and you and your husband will get some alone time!!!

Bensmom13 · October 2013

My son knows my parents really well. He seems them at least a couple times a week so he's very comfortable.

We have recently implemented date night every other Thursday where B spends the night at grandma and grandpas so me and DH can have a break and spend time together. We bought my mom a crib and he doesn't even notice the difference. I like that he'll sleep anywhere since it makes like easier for travel.

He also sleeps 8-7, Bottle and then back to sleep until 9, so it's pretty easy for my mom. But she knows if he ever had a bad night she could call me and bring him home. We live less than 10 minutes apart.

mrsdeanna · October 2013

DS1 was 6 months when left overnight for the first time. And I just got back from a trip where I was away from DS1 and DS2 (who is 6 months) for 3 nights. If they are offering, I would take them up on it. Parents know that they can expect LO to possibly wake up in the MOTN, but it sounds like your parents would be ok with that. And I'm sure they would do what ever it takes to make sure LO is comfortable. Kids adapt a lot easier than we think. It's definitely a lot harder on us parents than it is for LO. Good luck and enjoy!

DanandVan · October 2013

If it was me, I would spend so much energy worrying about how my baby was doing that it would totally negate any benefit of having grandparents take her.
I could see if you had a late wedding to go to or something, but a once a night feeding doesn't seem like a huge loss of sleep. If your Mom wants to help, see if she can take the baby for a bit during the day so you can rest.

LisaLisa1980 · October 2013

Your baby is STTN with one dreamfeed? Mine wakes every 2 hrs - you have no idea what "crappy sleep" is.

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