capture your grief day 13

lrichmond86 · October 2013

13. Book: Have you read a book about grief that helped you immensely in your journey of grief? Please feel welcome to share the book and links to where it can be purchased so others can find it.

lrichmond86 · October 2013

I have books about losing a child but have not read any of them. I started to, but found that they all made me more angry. They all have me the "pity eyes" feeling, which I hate. None of them talked about the process of living every day without your child. None of them made me say, "yes! That's exactly it! "

When I read the birth stories (and loss stories) here, I'm always amazed at how similar the process aways seems to be. I wish there was a book that said things like:

"leaving your dead baby at the hospital and going home will make you feel like the worst mother that ever existed. You're not."

"You will be relieved to be home for about 5 minutes before you realize that home is more empty and painful than the hospital because it's full of things and memories and hopes that will never come to fruition."

"Planning your child's funeral is the hardest thing you will ever do. Ever."

"You will be afraid of everything. To go out. To see people you know. To let your husband leave your side because he might die, too, and then what? "

"You will tell yourself that you will never not acknowledge your child's life. But you will. And it will feel awful. But sometimes it's the right thing to do."

I feel like none of the books I've found are honest about just how horrific this grief is. They all try to help. They all are well intended. By the just never matched my reality. Sorry this for so long. Guess I needed to vent.

lrichmond86 · October 2013

And also for the typos. Sorry for the typos. Darn auto correct.

TwinkleTor · October 2013

I haven't read any books, but I come on TB every day and this is the best read for me. It has been a great therapy for me!

Noethola · October 2013

I agree ladies. None of them really seemed to face the reality with the honesty I needed. I read a few I actually threw down because I thought they were focused all the wrong way.

Sounds like someone on here needs to write a book. Any takers???

lrichmond86 · October 2013

Noethola said:
I agree ladies. None of them really seemed to face the reality with the honesty I needed. I read a few I actually threw down because I thought they were focused all the wrong way.

Sounds like someone on here needs to write a book. Any takers???

Too bad we couldn't all compile our thoughts. I'm always so surprised by the consistency of our journeys. Everyone is different but it seems like we all got the same road blocks at one time or another.

princezjk · October 2013

I don't know if anyone has read this book, but I really enjoyed it.

Day 13 - Book #captureyourgrief I came across this book online shortly after losing Izzie and of all the loss books I've read since, this remains the best. It is the memoir of a novelist who experienced the stillbirth of her 1st child. The last line of book has really stuck with me, "It's a happy life, but someone is missing. It's a happy life, and someone is missing. It's a happy life -"

schulme2 · October 2013

This book, "Mommy, Please Don't Cry" was given to me by my Pastor after he read it at Mary's funeral. He and his wife had lost a daughter years ago and said that it had helped them a lot. It's a beautiful book that talks about how wonderful heaven is from a child's perspective.

Dixon813 · October 2013

There are a few books that I've read that have helped immensely in this journey. The top three are C.S. Lewis' A Grief Observed, Elizabeth McCracken's An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination, and William P. Young's The Shack.

All three books are about different things - Lewis talks about the death of his wife, McCracken about the birth of her still born and Young about the abduction and death of his young daughter - but all three touched me in so many different ways. There are many quotes I wrote down that I look at from time to time.

bunnybun4 · October 2013

2 Books that Really Helped me:

"An Exact Replica of a Figment of my imagination" by Elizabeth McCracken- this really helped me put words to soooo many things that I was feeling...I read this pretty early on in my grief process.

"I will carry you" by Angie Smith- I was really hesitant to read this because she carries to term and my circumstances were alot different than hers but this really helped me to really let go of my anger at God. I read this after my MMC this summer when I was immensely angry with two consecutive losses.

mingaling2 · October 2013

Dixon813 said:

There are a few books that I've read that have helped immensely in this journey. The top three are C.S. Lewis' A Grief Observed, Elizabeth McCracken's An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination, and William P. Young's The Shack. All three books are about different things - Lewis talks about the death of his wife, McCracken about the birth of her still born and Young about the abduction and death of his young daughter - but all three touched me in so many different ways. There are many quotes I wrote down that I look at from time to time.

I just ordered McCracken's book. Glad to hear it helped, and I look forward to reading it soon.

Auki13 · October 2013

"I Will Carry You" by Angie Smith was a book I read a few times over. We also decided to CTT after finding out that Annabelle was incompatible with life so I could relate to her story a lot. It gave me comfort knowing that I could carry her and still chose not to use medical interventions once Annabelle was born.

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