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Telling someone the good news and it becomes all about them

soylattesoylatte member
in May 2014 Moms
Against my better judgement, I told my step sister because she has been hassling the sh*t out of me forever - despite the fact that I have had multiple IVF procedures and miscarriages (yeah. no boundaries or thoughts about my feelings, ever). So I tell her. And she launches into every pregnancy experience she has ever had, and her youngest is 8. I also had to hear how she just knew it, I will have a girl, and more stories about OTHER people's pregnancies. I had to hold the phone away from my ear and try not to kill myself. How do you cut someone off?? I can't take it all the way til May.
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Re: Telling someone the good news and it becomes all about them

  • Knottie1454621357Knottie1454621357 member
    Sounds like my boss, only it's about how much more he's going to have to work! People these days, just need to learn how to say congrats and that's all!
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  • MigggMiggg member
    Good question.. I've already heard tons of horrible birth experiences that I didn't necessarily need.. I try to remind myself that in most cases the person is just trying to share their experience and bond over it. Your step sister sounds over the top obnoxious though so hopefully others have some ideas about cutting off her verbal barrages!

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  • Knottie1454621357Knottie1454621357 member
    @soylatte, I never feel sorry for him! Even during child delivery I will not feel sorry for him! Lol he's worse then a baby!
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  • ajsweetonajsweeton member
    soylatte said:

    Against my better judgement, I told my step sister because she has been hassling the sh*t out of me forever - despite the fact that I have had multiple IVF procedures and miscarriages (yeah. no boundaries or thoughts about my feelings, ever). So I tell her. And she launches into every pregnancy experience she has ever had, and her youngest is 8. I also had to hear how she just knew it, I will have a girl, and more stories about OTHER people's pregnancies. I had to hold the phone away from my ear and try not to kill myself. How do you cut someone off?? I can't take it all the way til May.

    Do we have the same sister?!? Mine can somehow turn absolutely everything back around to be about her and her family. Ugh makes me sick. She's also the type person that you can't get to stop talking! I'm sorry! I haven't been able to figure out how to shut her up in 17 years.
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  • starskristen79starskristen79 member
    You will constantly hear about other people's pregnancies for the next 7-ish months, at which point you will probably talk about yours! However, she sounds bad for asking you about your troubles conceiving.
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  • LeeLee86LeeLee86 member
    My mother said "yay it's the first time you'll be fatter than me"! Really? Being pregnant is not being fat thank you very much. She's such a killjoy.
    Married 5/5/12 ~ Miscarried @ 6wks 7/1/13 ~ Has Pacemaker ~ Due May 7th
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  • AmyfromMIAmyfromMI member
    Some people are just like that. They crave attention, so they turn everything around to be about them. I don't think there's any reasoning with these people. You just have to take it with a grain of salt and bask in your own excitement for yourself.
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  • jesstellinajesstellina member
    When I told my mom, she said congratulations and asked when I was due. I told her May 1st, and she said "Wahhh, I won't be out of school yet!"   She's a teacher's aide, so she's off in the summer. She lives about a 5 hr drive from us. She always wants things to happen in the summer so she can invade our house, uninvited, for weeks at a time. -.-   I immediately lashed out, "This is not about you!!! Do not make it about you!!!!!!!"

    Jess & Adam, married 2009, precious Audrey born in 2011. BFP 1/6/13, 6-wk MMC discovered at 9 wks 2/11/13. D&C 2/18/13, second D&C 4/23/13 for retained placenta.
    BFP 8/24/13!! EDD 5/1/14, delivered healthy and sweet Zoey Leanne on 5/5/14 by repeat c-section.
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  • CandaceMarie321CandaceMarie321 member
    When my 2nd son was born my sister-in-law was 4 months pregnant with her 1st and barely showing, but she comes into visit at the hospital wearing a too small shirt rubbing her belly and making sure to announce that she would be delivering in just 5 months, attempted to monopolize any staff that stepped into the room, and talked non-stop about how she was the best aunt HER nephew had and how HER nephew was this and that, completely ignoring me and worse my older son.
    Her visit was more exhausting than labor! Too bad she had too many things going on in her life to visit at the hospital after my 3rd. I'm just hoping it won't cause too much drama if I invite my new sister in law to this baby's L&D but not her.
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  • soylattesoylatte member
    CandaceMarie321 said:
    When my 2nd son was born my sister-in-law was 4 months pregnant with her 1st and barely showing, but she comes into visit at the hospital wearing a too small shirt rubbing her belly and making sure to announce that she would be delivering in just 5 months, attempted to monopolize any staff that stepped into the room, and talked non-stop about how she was the best aunt HER nephew had and how HER nephew was this and that, completely ignoring me and worse my older son. Her visit was more exhausting than labor! Too bad she had too many things going on in her life to visit at the hospital after my 3rd. I'm just hoping it won't cause too much drama if I invite my new sister in law to this baby's L&D but not her.
    Brutal. It's your perspective to invite who you want next time, but try to keep it quiet so she doesn't think you're passive aggressive. Good luck, darling!
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  • soylattesoylatte member
    Sierradbutler said:
    After one of my "friends" stalked my social media accounts and then messaged me to ask if I was PG due to some cryptic blogs, I replied that yes I was, and she almost immediately began making remarks that made it about her and giving backhanded compliments like "congrats, but how are you going to afford a baby?" And "just be thankful that you can get pregnant and that you're lucky enough not have a fertility disorder." I just wanted to say "are you kidding me!?!" My husband and I are finally starting a family after over 5 years of trying and several early miscarriages. I had to lose over 100 pounds and completely overhaul my lifestyle to finally conceive and even then, I suffered from irregular periods and months where I didn't ovulate at all! She's been trying for less than a year, and her fertility issues are directly linked to her poor diet and sedentary lifestyle which her doctor and her friends and family have all told her has to change if she wants to get pregnant. Yet I'm supposed to feel guilty! The next day she posts this big long post all over social media about how pregnant people need to be sensitive to those with fertility issues and how she doesn't want to hear about any symptoms or complaints of nausea... I deleted her :)
    Textbook example of a toxic friend. You were right to get rid of her. We tried for so long and endured so much as well - and I would never dream of making someone feel guilty or rob them of joy because they were expecting. Very happy for you. Protect yourself from that one.
    ;;)
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  • pistolpackinmommapistolpackinmomma member
    LeeLee86 said:

    My mother said "yay it's the first time you'll be fatter than me"! Really? Being pregnant is not being fat thank you very much. She's such a killjoy.

    At my baby shower my husband's cousin's wife (catch that?) and one if his aunts started questioning how much weight I had gained, told me that I was so big that it hurt their stomachs because it just had to be painful and on and on and on. Just when I thought it couldn't get worse the wife said that she NEVER got as big as me and she had twins! I gained 60 lbs of belly but let me assure you she was most definitely bigger Than I was. The twins are 2 and she's still not much smaller than I was at my shower. I couldn't resist joking with my husband (it was not said to anyone but him!) that I was pregnant and still smaller than her. I already only tolerated her before my shower, I really can't stand her now. I'm generally not one to joke about a person's weight but after all that they said I couldn't help it.

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  • CandaceMarie321CandaceMarie321 member
    soylatte said:


    CandaceMarie321 said:

    When my 2nd son was born my sister-in-law was 4 months pregnant with her 1st and barely showing, but she comes into visit at the hospital wearing a too small shirt rubbing her belly and making sure to announce that she would be delivering in just 5 months, attempted to monopolize any staff that stepped into the room, and talked non-stop about how she was the best aunt HER nephew had and how HER nephew was this and that, completely ignoring me and worse my older son.
    Her visit was more exhausting than labor! Too bad she had too many things going on in her life to visit at the hospital after my 3rd. I'm just hoping it won't cause too much drama if I invite my new sister in law to this baby's L&D but not her.

    Brutal. It's your perspective to invite who you want next time, but try to keep it quiet so she doesn't think you're passive aggressive. Good luck, darling!

    Thanks! My three children will be in and out of the room so I think I will just use the excuse that my new as-yet childless SIL will be responsible for one of the children, where my niece and nephew are not invited. Worse comes to worse, I'll deal with the drama. My brother is cool and she will get over it the next time she needs something from me.

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