Am I in the wrong?

haydensmommy009 · October 2013

My boyfriend and I work different shifts, I work mornings & he works nights. Every night when he gets home he sits his stuff down, goes to take a shower & hops on his playstation playing GTA5 till 8 am when I'm having to wake up to go to work. We don't go to bed together, we don't talk, nothing. It's so upsetting.. And this has been happening since the game came out. I'm not understanding.. His response is "I've waited 5 years for this game, that's longer than I ever even thought about waiting for you". Maybe I'm just hormonal and emotional, but I miss my boyfriend. Kinda makes me scared when the baby comes.. Would he have time for me then?

Maymac18 · October 2013

He has just lost his priority list. You can't push a person aside for a video game every day. Once a week? Sure! That's compromise but he needs to rememeber how important you are. Some guys get it and some never do. All you can do is calmly talk to
him and find a compromise. Good luck!

Maymac18 · October 2013

Oh and ps there will be no time for either of you when the baby gets here! We all face that problem. lol

abbeylanecb · October 2013

Uhhhh i would be pissed too. My husband plays too but only when I'm sleeping and the kids have gone down.

AcaAwkward · October 2013

There was a big discussion here about gaming a few weeks back that presented some good points / differing opinions... I'll try and see if I can find it for you...

My reaction? If any hobby takes over your life to the point that your relationships / health / employment are suffering, it is time to MAJORLY reevaluate the time you are spending on that hobby. Yes, he's obviously excited about the game and maybe he is trying to get playtime now before the baby comes, but that doesn't mean he gets to ignore you. Y'all need to pick a time to sit down and prioritize time together as a couple. If he is seriously unable to do that, I'd be concerned about his commitment to you as a partner.

I hope it gets better!!

Laroo0220 · October 2013

I would be pretty upset about that comment about him waiting for the video game longer than he would have ever even thought of waiting for you. Umm ok ass. Why do men say things like that. Those are the things that I really get stuck on. Yeah time for a priority shift for sure.

Avion22 · October 2013

Yep, and that game will still be there in a few months. If he keeps treating you like you're less important to him than a video game, then you might not be!

deidremaria · October 2013

I think the only way this can be resolved is if you and him have a calm serious talk out in public and you ask him calmy and directly exactly what his priorities are. You may be surprised by his answer and doing this may give you a look at his perspective. This is something that needs to be addressed sooner than later. If this game is really THAT important to him then some serious adjustments need to be made.

CalinAZ · October 2013

That seems pretty intense and fairly selfish. Maybe suggest some kind of schedule (i.e. you have breakfast together at ____?) I'd just calmly explain that you miss him and need to see him more. He can cut down on his game time by 30 minutes to spend time with you.

bingbongsmama · October 2013

I don't understand gaming because I've never know anyone who's into it. It does sound like he's addicted though. He's choosing a stupid game over you! It also sounds immature and selfish.

Dianakdee · October 2013

Don't worry my bf was the exact same way! Now I don't see him everyday . He used to come over everyday but since the game all he wants to do is play GTA5. But we FaceTime everyday now and I see him on the weekends. I was in the same situation just tell him you miss him and that he can make sometime to be with you. The game will always be there.

pannk · October 2013

If you have any overlap with your time off and can spend time together, maybe try playing with him or watching him play? Maybe if you show interest in his interests, he will start doing the same for you. Turn it into a bonding time for both of you.

Not saying what he is doing is right, just trying to come up with another possible solution to a sucky problem.

haydensmommy009 · October 2013

Thank you. He makes me feel so selfish.. I shouldn't have to beg for attention.. That's ridiculous. He's 22. Maybe that's why.. Ugh. But it's nice to know I'm not alone. Thank you ladies

rtv3 · October 2013

Yeah, for awhile DH would online game for hours with his brothers. We set up a weekly date night for the duration and once he got through the game we got back to normal. Now we're playing Terraria together

MarcyElizabeth · October 2013

Urgh. My OH has that game but only plays it when I'm not home because he knows it annoys me hah. I think once he's got over the hype he'll come round.

As for the comment about waiting longer for the game I'd be laying the smack down. He will wait as long as your fine ass needs him to wait. He's being selfish, I mean mama needs attention too. Right?!

hordol · October 2013

Yeah I wouldn't be okay with that. I don't understand how he could have possible been waiting for GTA5 for five years...I'm not a gamer (my husband is though) but did anyone know this game was coming out 5 years ago? He was specifically waiting for number 5, not number 4 or anything else? I don't get it, and if be pissed at hell if DH said he had been waiting for the game longer than he had been waiting for me.

DH plays this game and loves it, but he knows how to play in a way that it doesn't take over his life. As much as he would like to play for 20 hours straight sometimes like he would have in his early 20s, he has learned that spending mass amount of time on video games in place of time with people he cares about or responsibilities he needs to take care of isn't worth it. He plays for a couple hours a couple times a week (about 2-3 hours twice a week or so.) That works for us because it's ample time for his hobby but still leaves him plenty of time for me and other things.

nikki912 · October 2013

We are both gamers but make a point not to do it all the time. We each spend a night maybe once a week or every other week where we can play as long as we want without feeling guilty. Definitely talk to him about it- priorities need to be straightened out

haydensmommy009 · October 2013

We have talked and nothing has changed. This has been happening for a month straight. I said something to his mom, and she said something to him. He rushed her off the phone to get back to his game. Lol kinda immature to "call the mother" I just want him to give a shit about me. You know? I feel like I'm begging for attention and I feel pathetic for it. If things don't change, I think I'll end up leaving. Nobody deserves to feel unwanted especially during pregnancy when your hormones are already so out of whack. Makes me sad but I honestly don't know what else to do.

seannasmommy16 · October 2013

haydensmommy009 said:
We have talked and nothing has changed. This has been happening for a month straight. I said something to his mom, and she said something to him. He rushed her off the phone to get back to his game. Lol kinda immature to "call the mother" I just want him to give a shit about me. You know? I feel like I'm begging for attention and I feel pathetic for it. If things don't change, I think I'll end up leaving. Nobody deserves to feel unwanted especially during pregnancy when your hormones are already so out of whack. Makes me sad but I honestly don't know what else to do.

You don't need to fight for attention, you tired and there comes a point were you can't try any more.
Good luck

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