going to college in diapers

boymom10 · October 2013

My oldest DS turned three a few weeks ago, and we've been working on potty training for a while now. It started off going pretty well, and then he decided to boycott the potty. Awesome. We've tried several methods, potty charts, stickers, prizes and lots and lots of M&Ms, but he refuses. This is our third attempt at approaching potty training, and he wins again. I guess he's not ready. I really thought he was this time.

But, my question is when to start again? Do I give it a couple weeks or a couple months? Buying diapers for two is torture. On the plus side, maybe both my kids will be potty trained at the same time, and that should open up a nice spending allowance all at once

erbear · October 2013

Let him be. 3 isn't old especially for boys, and there is no point in trying to turn PTing into a struggle.

PunkyBooster · October 2013

Mine is almost 3. He goes about 3x a day on potty. The rest in diapers. I'm letting him lead. I have other things to stress out about

boymom10 · October 2013

I know I need to let him be about it because he's obviously not ready. But, would you still offer him chances to use the potty? Or, just ignore the whole potty thing until he asks about it? I guess I feel like I should be doing something to encourage it.

And, of course, there are more important things to be stressed about, but I'm feeling a little lost in potty land when it seems like every other kid in DS's class is potty trained already.

TiffanyBerry · October 2013

My GIRL didn't potty train until shortly after 3yrs. She saw all her preschool friends train throughout the year, and had ZERO interest. We've had potties around forever, and went through bursts of interest and periods of extreme aversion. I waited her out, but pushed a little after preschool was over. Well, I said that we needed to do a big wash on all the cloth diapers - she didn't have to wear underwear, but she wouldn't have diapers to pee in. She could pee in the big potty, the little potty, or outside on the grass, but no diapers. I talked to her about it for something like two months before hand, which I think helped to. But it wouldn't have worked if she wasn't ready.

Hang in there and be patient. It will be a total mystery why he won't do it right up until the day he does.

izziebee · October 2013

We didn't actively start PT'ing DS1 until he was just over 3 - partly b/c I had just had a baby and we moved from NY to FL so there was a lot going on.
However, we were offering it to him as we could in hopes it would catch on. We didn't get active in our efforts though until he was about 3y4mths and at that point we had to so that he could move up a classroom at daycare. Even now at 3y7m he still has accidents and still has to wear a diaper at night b/c that is the ONLY time he will poop.

I would keep offering it, just don't push it. Give him a chance to get used to it. Then in a few months maybe try to take a more active approach and make a big deal about big boy underpants and getting rid of the diapers.

Just be ready for accidents they will happen often!

boymom10 · October 2013

fredalina said:

What is happening? My answer to how long to hold off will depend on whether he's refusing and how insistently.

It's a battle. He outright refuses and throws a fit about it. Or, when I ask him if he would like to sit on the potty, he will pee in his pants right there and tell me he doesn't need to now. It's so baffling to me because he started off doing really well and was excited about it. But, then, he just stopped

srcr2011 · October 2013

My son was 2 and 4 months when we was potty trained and I know that it happened soon because he was ready. He didn't have much interest in the potty until we actually started potty training him. He would sit on it before a bath and that was pretty much it as far as an intro to it. He was ready though, he would always come to us and tell us to change him when was dirty. I am off during the summers, so I set a goal. The first week in June.

We started that Monday. I read him a book that showed pictures of potties and kids on them. It was called "The Log Family". Undies on him while awake, and he peed EVERYWHERE. Diapers at night and naps. I never got angry at him. I just told him dont' wet "batman" (that's what he called his undies cause they had batman on them).

My mom suggested I put his portable potty in the living room (here is were I get a few frowns when I tell others how I potty trained. It may work for you, it may not. Many don't agree with a potty in font of the TV). I put in there because that's where we spent the majority of the day. Playing with toys and watching Curious George. It was easier for him to remember to pee in the potty when it was in front of him (and I did put a bath mat under the potty to avoid smelly spills).

After a few times, he had very few pee accidents. Pooping, well that's another story. As long as he had his "batmans" on, he didn't need a diaper, he was happy to poop in the undies. I took off his undies and left him naked (again more frowns...) . He had no where to go and did not want to go without something on. He asked for a "pampo" (diaper) and brought one to me. I got wise to his little game, and hid the diapers from him (and DH lol) I was determined. He was crying to poop in a diaper and even asked for his "batmans". Kid needed to poop! I waited and watched and when I saw he couldn't hold it any more, I slid the potty under him and PLOP! He pooped in the potty! We clapped, we sang, we danced, we cheered, we went crazy!

By Wednesday, he took naps in undies, no accidents. During that day I think he had 1 accident cause he was playing with my nephew and go distracted. By Friday, we was in "batmans" 24/7.

Saturday, we went to a graduation party and took his portable potty with us. We kept it in the back of the SUV. We always had a potty for him, even if we ended up in the middle of no where. He likes to pee outside, on the bugs, on the ants, on the grass...as long as its not in his pants. When we is a little older, we will work on privacy.

Some other tips that may help:
Again, never get angry!! Or say bad boy/girl
Continuity helped A LOT! Same place, same time, by the same person...
HIDE the diapers from your LO
Only do it when you know they are ready, each kid is different (I hate it when my child gets compared to someone his age, it makes me angry) and will learn when he/she is ready.

Good look ladies!

Soap1 · October 2013

Potty training is the worst. I potty trained my oldest son at 22 months in 2 weeks. I thought I was the best parent ever and should give PT seminars.

My 2nd turned 2 last December and we started PT. We're STILL not quite there.

Basically I have no advice anymore.

Hang in there!

TiffanyBerry · October 2013

Have you talked to him about *why* he doesn't want to potty?

Over the course of two or three months, I fleshed out that my daughter was worried that potty training meant she had to be a big girl and big girls don't get to nurse (so, in her mind, if she potty trained, she didn't get to nurse any more). She didn't entirely believe me when I said she could still nurse even if she was potty trianed, but it did help to talk about it.

Is there some fear, some connection, that your son is making?

boymom10 · October 2013

TiffanyBerry said:

Have you talked to him about *why* he doesn't want to potty?
Over the course of two or three months, I fleshed out that my daughter was worried that potty training meant she had to be a big girl and big girls don't get to nurse (so, in her mind, if she potty trained, she didn't get to nurse any more). She didn't entirely believe me when I said she could still nurse even if she was potty trianed, but it did help to talk about it.

Is there some fear, some connection, that your son is making?

I have been asking him "why" but I can't get a good answer from him. The most common answer is, "Because I don't want to" and then he huffs away. Ha.

We do talk a lot about being a big boy so maybe there is something he's afraid of losing when he becomes a big boy. I'm just not sure what it could be. But, that's something I never thought about. Thanks

Spin313 · October 2013

Take a break for a month or two and lay off the "big boy" talk. Also, make sure you are sticking with one method and giving it a chance to work...don't keep switching between candy, sticker charts, prizes, etc.

Try this:
When you are ready to start again, set a timer to go off every hour. Tell him you need to use the potty and ask if be wants to go too. If not, just say okay and walk away. Don't push, just keep repeating. Try this for at least a week and see if he starts following you or wanting to try.

boymom10 · October 2013

Thanks to everyone for the advice! It's already been a little more relaxed around our house without constant potty talk. We'll try again in a month or two

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