Baby wise question

sarbieb · October 2013

What if your baby doesn't want to go back to sleep after play?? Can't keep her up bc then she'll have to eat and be off the routine. I'm asking for a friend! TIA!!

sarbieb · October 2013

What is unsafe about baby wise? The only thing I meant by it was sleep, eat, play, sleep as the routine. Is there another element to it that's unsafe??

mamato3girls · October 2013

Here is slink that gives some information pp was talking about https://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/babywise-linked-to-babies-dehydration.html

natalie115 · October 2013

mamato3girls said:
Here is slink that gives some information pp was talking about https://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/babywise-linked-to-babies-dehydration.html

It makes me so sad that a parent would withhold food from a hungry newborn for the sake of a schedule. Literally sick to my stomach...

poppyc8 · October 2013

follow babies cues and they will naturally turn into a baby led schedule over time.

sarbieb · October 2013

No one ever said my friend was withholding food from a hungry newborn! Of course of the baby needs to eat she's fed. Her daughter is 3m and 17lbs. Dont jump to conclusions

hattrk10 · October 2013

I think that the people opposed to Babywise are just going off of what they have read or heard about it and have not actually read it for themselves. If they had read it themselves they would know that what they have read/heard about it is only partially true. The book discusses 2 common trains of thought: completely baby led feeding where you go to every possible extreme to make sure your baby is happy (not only with eating but with everything) and those who let the clock lead and only feed at pre-set times and no sooner or later. Babywise supports neither. Instead they suggest Parent Directed Feeding which is basically a combo of both. They heavily stress that your baby's hunger cues should ultimately be the determining factor if baby eats or not, but that you shouldn't teach baby to snack and eat whenever they want. Instead it is teaching them routine and working with them to get full feedings at each meal so that they don't want to/need to snack in between meals. If anyone says Babywise promotes denying your child food if he/she is hungry, I think they need to read the book again as that is definitely not the case. The clock is more or less a guide to keep you on somewhat of a schedule so your baby doesn't go too long without eating between meals if they are not showing hunger cues. If hunger cues show up before the clock says they should eat you should feed your child but maybe try to figure out why they aren't going long enough between meals. Maybe they truly need to eat more often or maybe they aren't getting full feedings at each meal.

We have followed Babywise from about week 2 after we got settled. It has worked amazingly well for us. Our daughter was sleeping 11:30 - 6:30 by 7 weeks and by about 9 or 10 weeks was sleeping from 9:30/10 to 6:30. She definitely is not failing to thrive. She is in the 98th percentile for height and 80th for weight. She rarely shows any hunger signs between meals because we work with her to get a full feeding at each meal so she doesn't get hungry in between. If she really needs something in between we do not deny her. She naps well and plays well. Of course I don't think Babywise is solely responsible for that. Of course some depends on the baby's personality as well.

I think the biggest thing I took from Babywise is that babies like/thrive on routine and the eat, play, sleep concept. Being a first time mom and never having been around kids I liked having a general format to follow as I didn't have any idea how many times a day a baby should eat or when feedings should be drop and naps transitioned out. They do give general guidelines in the book as to typically babies can drop this feeding or this nap in this age range, but they do say that not all baby's will and that is normal.

To answer the original question, I'm not sure what advice to give other than to maybe do a few calming activities before putting him/her down for a nap so they can wind down. I usually just put my daughter down and pat her head for a minute or two and she goes to sleep on her own. She knows the routine so she usually starts to get sleepy and starts yawning shortly before it is time to go down for her naps.

As with any book or advice you need to evaluate it and determine for yourself how to proceed. You don't have to follow everything you read and can pull out of it what you think would be useful and seems right.

sarbieb · October 2013

Thank you so much for that!! I really appreciate it! I didnt have the energy to defend myself against people that clearly aren't familiar enough with baby wise.

hattrk10 · October 2013

I didn't think anyone's posts were mean or nasty. I was just giving my opinion regarding Babywise and how there are way too many people against it without doing the research to know what it is all about. If you have read the book and done the research and choose it is not for you that is great. I just get sick of reading post after post about how Babywise is cruel and starves children when they need food.

vrj0522 · October 2013

We used Babywise and loved it. We started at 9 weeks when I was at my wits end and it saved us! Like PP stated, we went off LO's cues but followed the routine and that helped me understand my baby and his needs so much better! If the baby won't fall asleep then he simply needs a longer playtime or he might be ready to sleep one less nap. Maybe your friend should consider extending the routine times. For us it was very clear that LO could not be awake longer than 1.5 hrs for a long time but then had to extend time as he got older. Also, not every day or cycle of the routine will be perfect and she just needs to go with it.

slepert · October 2013

We follow the eat. play, nap routine. It works great for us. LO will however take longer naps at certain times during the day and be awake longer other times of the days. We let her tell us when she is tired and ready to nap. We do however like to feed her at around the same times every day. She loves this, and has many times woken up at 5pm from a nap because that is the time she need to eat. OP - i would suggest to let your LO sleep when they are ready. sometimes the naps are 2 hours other times they are only 30 mins.

sarbieb · October 2013

Thanks everyone! Not sure why Nicb23 is taking this so personally. The OP was asking a question for those who follow baby wise and not meant to cause a debate about it.

natalie115 · October 2013

sarbieb said:
No one ever said my friend was withholding food from a hungry newborn! Of course of the baby needs to eat she's fed. Her daughter is 3m and 17lbs. Dont jump to conclusions

My comment had nothing to do with your post, it was in reply to the article that the pp posted. That would be why I quoted her and not you.

sarbieb · October 2013

Oh sorry, I misunderstood!

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