Working moms...time with LO

LokiLahve · October 2013

I'll be going back to work in a few weeks and am stressing about how much time (or lack thereof) I'll get with LO each day.
I work 8-5 so I figure I'll get an hour in the morning (while also getting myself ready) and maybe 2-3 hours at night before she goes down in her crib around 8-9. So 4 hours max during the week...that just seems like cruel and unusual punishment to mommy

What does your time with LO look like? What do you do to make the little time you have really count?
Is it really as bad/heartbreaking as I'm playing it up in my head?

kanned0121 · October 2013

I go back next week and this is why I'm dreading it. I hate being away from LO for even an hour.. This is gonna be hard!

MommyKristin88 · October 2013

Hearing that it is only about 4 hours a day is depressing. I go back Monday

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LokiLahve · October 2013

MommyKristin88 said:
Hearing that it is only about 4 hours a day is depressing. I go back Monday (

I know! I keep doing the math thinking it will shake out differently. I'm not factoring in motn feedings so there's another hour but it's the awake/alert interacting hours I feel like I'll be cheated of.
Ugh, makes me feel like a bad mommy. I know...I'm doing what I have to/plenty of women work blah blah...I still feel bad I can't be there with LO more.

LEMSA · October 2013

I work 10 hr shifts 3 days a week. So yes I have 4 days to see him. But the days I do work, all I get are MOTN feedings and not a lot of awake time.

Snowbird7 · October 2013

For me, it's been incredibly hard. I just returned to work this week, and when I pick Alex up at 4:45 p.m., that means I get about five hours a night with him (and that's if I do absolutely no cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc.). The kicker is, I always thought I'd enjoy returning to work (it's a job I really like), but the minute he was born, everything changed. It's like I never want to leave his side.

It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, dropping him off at my sister's on Monday morning, and I cried all the way to work. I felt incredibly guilty and depressed, thinking of all the things I'd miss, or that when he cried and wanted his mommy, I wouldn't be there. It still makes me nauseated to think about it or even to type that sentence.

The only silver lining is that it does get the tiniest bit easier throughout the week. And every night, I've kept him sleeping on my chest for much longer than normal, just to soak up some extra snuggle time. And I've been more possessive of our weekends, turning down invitations and re-prioritizing housework so that we spend more time together as a family. Also, it's made my heart feel good to hear other ladies on this board talk about how their moms worked, and they turned out great.

jbean1325 · October 2013

I was just talking about this with H. It's sad to think of how much time will be spent with coworkers instead of LO. I guess it will have to be like what PP said, reprioritizing weekends and nights. Still not fair.

nnikki10 · October 2013

Yea it will be tough. I work 10 hour days so basically i will be gone 12 hours. I don't know our schedule yet. We pick once a year. Hopefully I will get day shift which is 7-5. So then I will get about 4 hours with her at night. But luckily I get 3 days off.

kwrecks · October 2013

My heart goes out to all of you mommas that have to go back to work.

This is part of the reason we decided I'd stay home. My husband typically works from 9am until about 8:30-9pm Thursday-Monday. I worked from 2pm-12am Wednesday-Sunday. In order for me to bring her to the babysitter/daycare, and get to work on time, I'd have to leave at about 12:30, and by the time I got home from work, she'd be asleep. So the only time I'd get with her would be from whenever we woke up until 12:30. That was definitely not okay with me, and my husband didn't like it okay either, so that, with other reasons, we decided I'd stay home.

Like I said, my heart goes out to all of you going back to work, or that have already gone to work. Hopefully you can figure out a schedule that works for everyone!

girlmama83 · October 2013

Luckily I only work 6 hour days and don't have to be in till noon but I am still an absolute mess even thinking about it. On Wednesdays she is going to come to work for a couple hours with me.

It breaks my heart thinking about what I will miss. I'm devastated. Maybe that sounds dramatic but I truly am. I hope that by the time LO #2 comes, I will be able to be a SAHM.

V&G101808 · October 2013

I've had about 5 meltdowns in the past month thinking about this. I'm soooo not ready.

Bonus is that my aunt who is taking care of him 3 days a week lives by my job. I can sneak in during lunch for some snuggles.

bendicott7 · October 2013

Well now I am crying the tears I've been fighting off every time I think about this. Luckily, I still have 2.5 weeks at home, but once I do go back my job is not a 9-5 type job where when I leave work, I'm done. I often would spend all evening until bedtime still doing work before LO was here. I obviously don't want to have to do this now. I am nervous about balancing everything.

ludali · October 2013

We don't get a lot of time. 2 hours max at night, but many days less... We live for our weekends with her and make minimal plans.

kaylababy5 · October 2013

The first few days are very hard, I'm not going to lie. I cried after I dropped him off all the way to work and then pulled myself together. By the third day I felt like I was in a routine and the drop off part was much better. Just keep in mind you are working to provide for your child and the people taking care of LO love babies and would never let anything bad happen to them. Positive thoughts! The time before/after work and the weekends are much more precious. If he wakes up earlier than usual in the morning I no longer care cuz then it's just more snuggle time!

Stormytucker · October 2013

I went back to work this past Tuesday, the first day was incredibly hard! I cried on and off all day. But on the bright side it has gotten a little easier every day! I keep telling myself that I'm going to work so that my son will be able to have nice things and do special activities, and that does make it easier! I appreciate all te nighttime moments even crying now for sure! Keep your head up take a deep breath and try to stay busy it makes time go by soo much faster!!! You will do great!

PrettyAccountant · October 2013

My heart hurts thinking about it. I typically have 9 hour days plus a two hour commute in the morning and another two in the evening. I am gone for at least 13 hours a day - sometimes more. I feel like I will never get to see my baby. I have been crying a lot about it.

Slpafford · October 2013

It is very hard at first, just finished up my 3rd week back. There were a lot of tears shed that first week, but day by day it gets better. So far in order to spend as much time as possible with LO I get up an hour earlier than I really need to and get ready. I then have all that extra time to get him ready and cuddle/play (that is usually just our special mommy and baby time). Also when I get home I spend pretty much all my time with DS. We play or cuddle and then give him a bath.

Thankfully DH has been amazing and doing most of the cooking/cleaning so that I don't have to take time away for that.

Just remember you are doing what you need to do for your family. It will get easier and easier as you fall into a routine. Also it just makes those times I do get with DS that much more special!

adnama36 · October 2013

I still have four more weeks off, but I'm already stressing about going back to work. I'll be working 8a-8p Mon/Tues/Wed. It'll be great to have four days per week off to spend with LO, but on work days, I'll only see him for a few MOTN feedings. It makes me want to cry already. The only thing keeping me from being really stressed out about it is that until spring, at least, he'll be staying with DH while I'm at work. After that, we'll have to find daycare, but at least then he'll be used to being away from Mommy all day.

LokiLahve · October 2013

When I started this thread I was looking for some inspiration that it wouldn't be as bad as I was thinking but that just doesn't seem to be the case.

It does give me some comfort knowing I'm not the only momma out there struggling with this (although I wish none of us had to!).
I'm going to make an effort to start focusing more on the positive things that will come I guess. Being able to appreciate those motn feedings, the ability to provide cool family vacation experiences and showing my LO how to be a successful and confident woman and the value of hard work.

FeetFirst · October 2013

I am doing this for the second time and just want to say that while the time does seem small you get used to it.

You come up with ways to make time special and like a PP said you reprioritize things that you used to think you HAD to do on a weeknight or weekend before. You also can learn to love the schedule that works for your family.

not that this will make you feel better right now, but DS loves going to his school. He would rather be there during the day than home with me even if that sucks for me...lol. He has friends and learns new things and has an awesome schedule he is used to there after 3+ years. We never even thought to have him stay home with me while I was on LOA with DD.

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