CIO

Lhyacinth888 · October 2013

For those of you who have used CIO, what is the absolute longest you have allowed your baby to cry?

ClandestineX · October 2013

10 minutes at one time. All together the longest has been 45 minutes, but I do think me patting or talking to him made him more worked up. If I had just let him cry, it may have been around 20-30 minutes.

fireflyz56 · October 2013

We have only had to do it 3 times, tonight being one of them. Breaks my heart every time, and like ClandestineX said, if I go in there it only makes it worse. Luckily she only cries for about 10 minutes. We only use it as a last resort when nothing else works.

BellaBean76 · October 2013

We did CIO to extinction...not progressive waiting. The very first time she cried for 45 minutes it sucked!!!! The second 30 mins, then 15, 5, 2, 1. Since then most times she goes down without a fuss...every once in a while she will cry but only for a few minutes.

arschm02 · October 2013

Only once but it was 45 minutes. He didn't cry straight the whole time. He would cry and then lay quietly for a bit. This on/off cry lasted 45 minutes. After that time it has never been more than 10 minutes. Now he rarely cries when I put him in his crib. He also has no troubles falling back to sleep in the MOTN.

ChicagoBroad26 · October 2013

An hour and 20 minutes (during which I checked her diaper and soothed twice). It suuuuuuuuuucked but she sleeps better (not well, but much better) now.

mariahrb · October 2013

The first few nights he cried for 20-25 min. After that it ranged from 10-15 for a few weeks. Now he doesn't cry at all.

KrisM86 · October 2013

The longest at one time was probably 15 minutes of real crying and maybe 25-30 minutes of fussing/whining.

ToAoShesha · October 2013

When I looke into an infant sleep specialist I asked on average... She said some babies cry 10-15min but the first night average is an hour and a half

she said average CIO time for MOTN wakings is 20 min.

My baby is high maitainance and I know would be record breaking (which is why I can't do it... I couldn't follow through ). So haven't done it

Get this though (@cece your going to hate this..... Much like me!) when I asked the longest a baby has ever taken to CIO she responded 6 hours!!!!!! She said it was only once! No way on hell I would let my baby cry that long!

I am glad to see most moms on here have shorter times

minerswife17 · October 2013

cece2682 said:
An hour and 20 min!!!??? I don't believe in letting a baby cry like that. Makes me want to cry just thinking about it...

Exactly how I feel.

OhSewCrafty · October 2013

We still haven't done it. She's cried in the car (we were stuck in traffic and I couldn't get to her) for about 25 minutes, but she just could not figure her life out and calm down. In the MOTN, DH can get her settled and rocked back to sleep in like 5 minutes, but the second I go in there's she's flipping out crying "mama mama mama mama!" She went from sttn to waking up at 10:30 and 2:30 every single night. We need to start something soon......

ClandestineX · October 2013

cece2682 said:

An hour and 20 min!!!??? I don't believe in letting a baby cry like that. Makes me want to cry just thinking about it...

If everything is fine.. changed, fed, burped, played with, etc. They will be just fine. They wake up the same exact baby as the day before, except now they have learned how to sooth themselves to sleep when they wake up from various sleep cycles. I do not believe in making a baby suffer exhaustion all the time because they are always waking up and cannot put themselves back to sleep. It isn't good for them.

@OhSewCrafty - he does the same thing with the ma ma ma ma mooom lol.

Lhyacinth888 · October 2013

Things are just getting ridiculous. My DD has no skills to help put herself to sleep. She is very high maintenance so her crying a few minutes feels like hours. We did CIO with DS when he was a baby and it went awesome- he whined for like 20 mins at his worst. I have a feeling DD might be an hour + baby. I'm just not sure I'm ready yet! Something has got to give. I spent 40 mins putting her to sleep (rocking and nursing), up 10 mins later and then it takes DH 45 mins (rocking). We are going crazy! She also gets more upset if I just try to calm her without picking her up too. I just needed to hear what is realistic and what's in store when I start. Thanks for all your responses!!

OhSewCrafty · October 2013

Luckey4 said:

An hour and 20 min!!!??? I don't believe in letting a baby cry like that. Makes me want to cry just thinking about it...
Exactly how I feel.

She specifically said she did a diaper check and soothed in between. She didn't lock her in a room for that long by herself and plopped on the couch.

OhSewCrafty · October 2013

ClandestineX said:

cece2682 said:

An hour and 20 min!!!??? I don't believe in letting a baby cry like that. Makes me want to cry just thinking about it...

If everything is fine.. changed, fed, burped, played with, etc. They will be just fine. They wake up the same exact baby as the day before, except now they have learned how to sooth themselves to sleep when they wake up from various sleep cycles. I do not believe in making a baby suffer exhaustion all the time because they are always waking up and cannot put themselves back to sleep. It isn't good for them.

@OhSewCrafty - he does the same thing with the ma ma ma ma mooom lol.

It breaks my heart!! I remember when Charlie was first in a toddler bed and had trouble sleeping. He'd stand at the gate on his door and yell for us, "Mama! Help me! I stuck! Mama!" Hahaha

ClandestineX · October 2013

OhSewCrafty said:

ClandestineX said:

cece2682 said:

An hour and 20 min!!!??? I don't believe in letting a baby cry like that. Makes me want to cry just thinking about it...

If everything is fine.. changed, fed, burped, played with, etc. They will be just fine. They wake up the same exact baby as the day before, except now they have learned how to sooth themselves to sleep when they wake up from various sleep cycles. I do not believe in making a baby suffer exhaustion all the time because they are always waking up and cannot put themselves back to sleep. It isn't good for them.

@OhSewCrafty - he does the same thing with the ma ma ma ma mooom lol.

It breaks my heart!! I remember when Charlie was first in a toddler bed and had trouble sleeping. He'd stand at the gate on his door and yell for us, "Mama! Help me! I stuck! Mama!" Hahaha

Lol, this is the reason why I -can- wait for him to start speaking. It seems like it'll make things a lot more difficult when they can talk and pull at your heart strings.

Kate_C · October 2013

OhSewCrafty said:

Luckey4 said:

cece2682 said:
An hour and 20 min!!!??? I don't believe in letting a baby cry like that. Makes me want to cry just thinking about it...
Exactly how I feel.

She specifically said she did a diaper check and soothed in between. She didn't lock her in a room for that long by herself and plopped on the couch.

I kind of feel like this was an unnecessary judgment on another mom's completely legit and educated parenting decision... For someone who felt the wrath for being a non-vaxer, I'm surprised you wouldn't be more supportive of everyone's right to make their own educated parenting decisions.

ChicagoBroad26 · October 2013

Luckey4 said:

cece2682 said:
An hour and 20 min!!!??? I don't believe in letting a baby cry like that. Makes me want to cry just thinking about it...
Exactly how I feel.

Good to know! As OSC said, I pointed out that I did diaper checks and soothing during that time. I'll refrain from lots of other things I could say to each of you to tell you that I place a high value on the quality of sleep my baby gets. After sleep training, each of my kids has been more well rested, slept soundly and for longer periods (which is vital for cognitive and physical growth) and been an overall happier baby. So put that in your pipe.

Mandmeesh · October 2013

ChicagoBroad26 said:

An hour and 20 min!!!??? I don't believe in letting a baby cry like that. Makes me want to cry just thinking about it...
Exactly how I feel.
Good to know! As OSC said, I pointed out that I did diaper checks and soothing during that time. I'll refrain from lots of other things I could say to each of you to tell you that I place a high value on the quality of sleep my baby gets. After sleep training, each of my kids has been more well rested, slept soundly and for longer periods (which is vital for cognitive and physical growth) and been an overall happier baby. So put that in your pipe.

this made me chuckle

The couple of times I've tried minimal CIO, I've noticed that M does not calm himself...he gets worse and worse until he chokes. Like OSC, I've been stuck in traffic, etc. with M in the car seat and he's almost made himself sick. That was a few weeks ago and I do see that in the car he is much calmer.

I feel like some sleep training is on the horizon, but his sleeping (and mine) is much improved since bedsharing.

Sorry, got off on a tangent, lol.

ClandestineX · October 2013

@Cece2682 - When you specifically pointed out her time, then yeah, it was singling her out. Would've it been better if you would have pointed out other times? Well I guess if you want to judge crying it out as a whole, then yeah, it would have made kinda a difference.

The way you wrote it, sounded as though you thought she was leaving the baby to cry for the whole hour and 20 minutes. Which OSC pointed out, that wasn't the case. It really doesn't help the conversation.. even though that was not the topic (of whether or not you are for CIO) if you just post a comment like that. It was purely judgmental in tone. If you didn't mean it that way, fine, but that is what it looked like at first... second.. third glance.

You should stop letting posts on here affect you in your real life. There is no need, you have nothing to prove to anyone here, but trying to do so will only give you unwanted stress. I do hope you have a better day, as with everyone else.

ChicagoBroad26 · October 2013

cece2682 said:
@ clandestine- as I was thinking about it, you're absolutely right. It wasn't a question of whether or not we agree with it, so my comment was uncalled for in that respect. I apologize. I didn't mean any disrespect to anyone who chooses this method. I should have kept my opinion to myself.

Everyone has an opinion on what works best for their family. Thanks for the apology

melissad23 · October 2013

I'll single people out

and it will def be my UO for next week - know the difference between your and you're. There, they're and their.

We're adults. I know this is a message board, but for the love of God, it's not that difficult!!!

Enough of a subtle subject change??

arschm02 · October 2013

To, two, too

OhSewCrafty · October 2013

cece2682 said:

Luckey4 said:

An hour and 20 min!!!??? I don't believe in letting a baby cry like that. Makes me want to cry just thinking about it...
Exactly how I feel.

She specifically said she did a diaper check and soothed in between. She didn't lock her in a room for that long by herself and plopped on the couch.
I kind of feel like this was an unnecessary judgment on another mom's completely legit and educated parenting decision... For someone who felt the wrath for being a non-vaxer, I'm surprised you wouldn't be more supportive of everyone's right to make their own educated parenting decisions.
Would it have been better if I said 1 hr, 45 min, one hour, 35 min!???? So I wasn't singling anyone out??? And I'm sorry but the way I got attacked by simply asking what all your thought were on vaccines to get some guidance is a bit different that simply stating I don't believe in something. Your not going to support every decision another parent makes, but you respect it. i didnt think i said anything disrespectful. So don't try to compare the two. And @ ohsewcrafty, I never implied that she left her baby in a room alone so don't put words in my mouth. Here's an UO for you- for the group mod, many of your posts are defensive and are unnecessarily sarcastic. So much for keeping the peace. Some of you ladies stress me out. I guess this is the downside of not really knowing one another and having such personal conversations. you dont get the true intent of a post and things may come across in a negative way when you don't mean them to. I'm sorry if this post is nasty, I'm having a horrible day and being accused of saying something I didn't just really bothered me, on top of everything else. I don't feel I was being disrespectful, if it sounded that way, my apologies.

A. Your nearly visceral reaction to her post made it seem like you were judging her parenting decision as if she let her baby cry for over an hour in a harmful way. So, I'm sorry if it felt like I was putting words in your mouth, but I was simply pointing out what the poster said about HOW she let her daughter CIO - a piece of information you didn't acknowledge in your statement of judgement.

B. I'm a poster just like everyone else and I'm allowed to be sarcastic, defend posters with whom I agree, discuss with posters with whom I disagree, etc. Everyone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I'd like to think I have a pretty positive relationship with the board. I'm sorry you don't feel that way.

C. Where does it say that the mod is here to keep the peace? Nothing in this thread (or 99% of the threads on this board) was out of control what so ever. I'm here to make sure everyone is following the rules, report/help with trolls, answer questions, and keep an eye out for anything absolutely nuts. I'm not here to mediate between completely normal disagreements between posters about everyday things. Posters would freaking impeach me if I tried to regulate normal discussion and disagreements. People are allowed to disagree, rebut, respond, etc.

melissad23 · October 2013

cece2682 said:

melissad23 said:
I'll single people out and it will def be my UO for next week - know the difference between your and you're. There, they're and their.

We're adults. I know this is a message board, but for the love of God, it's not that difficult!!!

Enough of a subtle subject change??
Did I make those grammar mistakes!??? Hope not! Lol That drives me batty! On FB, my mom calls me the grammar nazi. Lol on my phone it's hard sometimes with auto correct and writing in a hurry.

I'm not sure who did in this thread, but I definitely saw it. Just a personal pet peeve...and, I was trying to lighten the mood

BellaBean76 · October 2013

@clandestinex. I usually bump with Bfing on my iPad. G just stopped feeding so I sat her up and she touched the screen blowing up the pics in ur siggy of Connor. She was enthralled by him;). So I gave her a virtual introduction..LoL!

ClandestineX · October 2013

@BellaBean76 - Lol! Woo woo! He's a lucky boy to have caught the attention of a cutie like her!

skidderdo · October 2013

Sometimes I read threads a day or two late and think, "Whoa....... what just happened....."

minerswife17 · October 2013

I only said it breaks my heart bc it does to hear my baby cry. IDC if everyone does CIO or no one does. If DD cries for 3 minutes it kills me. I'm not here to judge anyone's parenting. I don't do CIO but hey, I could change my mind next week and do it. You never know.

ClandestineX · October 2013

Luckey4 said:

I only said it breaks my heart bc it does to hear my baby cry. IDC if everyone does CIO or no one does. If DD cries for 3 minutes it kills me. I'm not here to judge anyone's parenting. I don't do CIO but hey, I could change my mind next week and do it. You never know.

It might not be for you. To me, the risks associated with poor sleeping outweigh the heartache of listening to him cry. My husband has ADHD, I have had insomnia since I was a young kid... so if those are hereditary then he is predisposition for them, and since lack of good sleep is associated to those two things too.. I want to do everything I can on my end to try and make sure he doesn't get that way.

I think all mothers, unless they are heartless, feel extremely sad when their baby is crying.. being in the CIO camp doesn't mean we are less sensitive to baby's cry.

minerswife17 · October 2013

ClandestineX said:

Luckey4 said:

I only said it breaks my heart bc it does to hear my baby cry. IDC if everyone does CIO or no one does. If DD cries for 3 minutes it kills me. I'm not here to judge anyone's parenting. I don't do CIO but hey, I could change my mind next week and do it. You never know.

It might not be for you. To me, the risks associated with poor sleeping outweigh the heartache of listening to him cry. My husband has ADHD, I have had insomnia since I was a young kid... so if those are hereditary then he is predisposition for them, and since lack of good sleep is associated to those two things too.. I want to do everything I can on my end to try and make sure he doesn't get that way.

I think all mothers, unless they are heartless, feel extremely sad when their baby is crying.. being in the CIO camp doesn't mean we are less sensitive to baby's cry.

I completely understand. Of course any momma doesn't want to hear their baby cry. But knock on wood, I don't have to worry about CIO bc DD sleeps 8-11 hours a night. I would never think any parent that uses CIO is less sensitive to their babies cry. Sleep is very important for our LOs. Our pedi said sleep is just as important for our LOs as food is.

KrisM86 · October 2013

ClandestineX said:

Luckey4 said:

I only said it breaks my heart bc it does to hear my baby cry. IDC if everyone does CIO or no one does. If DD cries for 3 minutes it kills me. I'm not here to judge anyone's parenting. I don't do CIO but hey, I could change my mind next week and do it. You never know.

It might not be for you. To me, the risks associated with poor sleeping outweigh the heartache of listening to him cry. My husband has ADHD, I have had insomnia since I was a young kid... so if those are hereditary then he is predisposition for them, and since lack of good sleep is associated to those two things too.. I want to do everything I can on my end to try and make sure he doesn't get that way.

I think all mothers, unless they are heartless, feel extremely sad when their baby is crying.. being in the CIO camp doesn't mean we are less sensitive to baby's cry.

Agreed, especially with the last part. I cried the first few times we tried CIO and it still makes me so upset and frustrated if he cries for more than a minute or two. But we got to the point where he wouldn't let me nurse, rock or soothe him to sleep. He clearly needed to figure it out for himself. After a week or two of CIO (never more than 15 minutes of crying without being soothed and never more than 1 hr total) he sleeps much better. He usually goes down without much fussing at all and usually only wakes once to eat and then goes back to sleep. Everyone is much happier now.

squatchiebaby · October 2013

Yeah, with my toddler he had the same problem! It was sad but kind of funny, because he first was calling for me "mommy, mommy, get me!" then he switched to "daddy, daddy, daaaad!" then when that got him nowhere, he started calling for the twins, who he calls, babies "babies, babies, get me out!"

Hilarious!

kreeper611 · October 2013

We haven't done this, but I know it is coming. DD cannot put herself back to sleep - she sucks at it. I planned to break her of the swaddle this past week, but she had an ear infection. Once she's off her antibiotic we are going to start to deswaddle her. I am not looking forward to it and figure we will have a few nights of CIO in our future.

NicoleSB80 · October 2013

clgsquared said:
I'm about to try CIO. DS is awesome about going to bed at night, but one-two hours before it's time to get up (5:15) he's up and can't put himself back to sleep. 5:15 is early enough to start my day...3:30/4:00 is just ridiculous. I have tried the paci, rocking, patting him on the back, putting him to bed later....everything. Now it's time to play hardball! I say this now of course.

I'm with you. I keep getting up and feeding her every 3hrs but I know in my gut she's not really hungry and she usually only eats for 3-4 minutes anyway. I'm ready to cut out one of those feeding cause I need sleep. I told DH this morning at 4am that she's gonna cry through it tonight.

He keeps making me doubt myself saying she may be hungry but I KNOW she could go 6hrs without food and at this point that's all I'm asking.

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