Open Letter Thursday

Assembly_Reqd · October 2013

write those notes!

mightmom13 · October 2013

Dear DD,

Thank you for being ever so patient as you can be with me and all the new changes - I am glad that you are finally liking our new "letter" home and are starting to recognizing it as home too. Mommy wishes she could do things better and faster to help you adjust, we will get there little tiger.

Muggha, muggha

Mommy

Dear new dysphagia dx,

Ok, so you have a name now along with treatment - though I am happy to prevent your downsides to the other body parts, I am still not happy with your existence or your difficulty of a new way of life for my kid. All she wants is water and I can't give her what she wants or is used too - so all in all this kind of sucks. Yes you are new to our world and we don't like change so maybe you won't suck as bad soon.

Andplusalso, one-more-thing

Tough on the outside lady

To this board,

Thank you for existing - I think I have written this before. Especially when times are tough, I feel less alone and ok in my emotions.

Thankful Thursday mom (well, kind of smiling)

Dear work,

Slow the bleep down!!!! OMG - my kid needs me and I am all she has on the 24/7 deal, so I need you to take a backseat even though you are our income.

TIA

Tired as crap

d.f · October 2013

Dear School Team,

Thank you for the decent IEP meeting, I still miss the preschool team but I think we can work together to provide my kiddo with an appropriated education. I may have to be more diligent and assertive but such is life.

Thanks,

DS's Mama and equal team member

------------------------------

Dear Self,

You rocked that meeting. You were well prepared. You were nice but didn't bend over backwards to make it so you or your kid weren't being a bother. You asked for what he needs and you got most of it. What you didn't get into the document (one on one minutes with the educational aid integrated into the classroom) will be revisited if they ever do pull the support that is being informally given. Oh and you didn't accidental cut off DH or talk over him like you've completely accidentally done in the past.

Sincerely,

finding my own but kind of exhausted at the thought of needing to bring my A game always for the next lots and lots of years

-----------------------------------

Dear DS,

What the heck is up with the behavioral problems that have never been before and weren't present for the first 3.5 weeks. Knocking over a trash can for funsies? Spitting? Making noises? I know the expectations have dramatically ramped up but damn this has caught me by surprise. Please respond to the sticker chart and visual break cards your teachers are implementing today. Please.

Sincerely,

STRESSED

d.f · October 2013

-auntie- said:

d.f said:

Dear DS, What the heck is up with the behavioral problems that have never been before and weren't present for the first 3.5 weeks. Knocking over a trash can for funsies? Spitting? Making noises? I know the expectations have dramatically ramped up but damn this has caught me by surprise. Please respond to the sticker chart and visual break cards your teachers are implementing today. Please. Sincerely, STRESSED

This is the classic Autism MO. The kid enjoys a honeymoon period in school and holds it together for 2-6 weeks before all hell breaks loose.

Sometimes, being "bad" requires more cognitive skills and maturity than were available to the perp previously so that a child grows into a less than wonderful developmental stage well after you think "at least I've dodged that nasty spitting phase". Sometimes growth brings benefits we might rather have avoided- the good comes with the

You could ask the school for a FBA/BIP to figure out what's driving this behavior? Is he looking for attention from the teacher? Does he think he's entertaining his friends? Is this a flight or fight mode reaction to anxiety related to transitioning?

I'm not a huge fan of sticker charts. They seem to be the lazy teachers' go to for behavior of all kinds. If this acting out is driven by anxiety than adding additional anxiety via a visual with perks attached could make the behavior worse and the kid miserable. If the behavior is driven by not understanding how to engage peers, than it would make more sense to teach him the skills to engage them appropriately- you can't expect him to perform a skill he's not been taught just because you're handing out stickers. If the behavior is a reaction to transitions, they need to break it down and support him through each one to avoid the behavior and get him to being OK with the structure of the day.

I asked about a FBA/BIP at the IEP meeting both the psychologist and the SLP/SpEd said they'd like to get to know him better before we go there. They are informally looking for the antecedents (scatter plot graph). I think one of the issues is that the behavior isn't every day or at the same times of day. The suspicion right now is that it is for attention both from the teachers and his peers. Also, from not knowing how to engage his peers and get the attention he wants in an appropriate manner and at an appropriate time. He does okay with transitions. I will definitely keep an eye on the sticker chart. He hasn't been an extremely anxious kid in the past but it has been showing up a bit in the last several months. It's something to keep a close eye on. <p>

Last week DS started a once a week social skills group with the school psychologist. She is using Michelle Winner Garcia Curriculum. He is also attending a 12 week social skills group in a clinic setting once a week (the SLP and OT facilitating it use their own curriculum. Hopefully those will add to his social tool box. <p>

Thank you for your insight :-)

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