Should text him this?

Sheenafontenot · October 2013

"I don't plan on telling you when I go into labor because I don't think you care or want to know but please let me know if I'm wrong and you would like to be there before or after she is born. I would hate for you to miss out on that moment if you actually wanted to be there. If I don't hear from you, I won't notify you."

At 12 weeks he wanted me to get an abortion. When I refused he said he couldn't handle it and we haven't communicated since. I'm due next week. We are obviously not on speaking terms but I would hate him to miss out based on pettiness or stubbornness on either one of our parts. I don't expect to get a response though either. What would you do?

20thirteen · October 2013

My BD wanted me to get an abortion too. I didn't tell him I was going into labor, I don't even think I told him my due date before we broke up. DD was 3 weeks early and his notification was a text from a friend of a friend saying congrats. I don't think it's pettiness or stubbornness, I think that if he hasn't made the attempt to contact you, you shouldn't make an attempt to contact him. Are you planning on seeking CS?

sheenabobina10 · October 2013

I am seeking child support and he knows this. He also claims that he will wilfully sign the paternity achknowledgment, probably to avoid paying for the paternity test and he knows its his child. I have told him in the past that I WON'T tell him when I give birth. He says nothing. Ever since I told him I was pregnant he has had very little words to say. He doesn't talk much about his feelings about the whole subject and his actions speak louder anyways. I know he has made his choice but as the person carrying this child, I can't imagine missing out on the birth of her and not regretting it. I guess its the part of me that still assumes he has an ounce of goodness in him.

Sheenafontenot · October 2013

I took your advice and made it short and sweet. I just said "I'm due next week. If you want to know when she's born let me know." Can say I didn't allow him to be there or try.

Sheenafontenot · October 2013

Can't*

Sheenafontenot · October 2013

No response. I'm not surprised.

20thirteen · October 2013

You still have a whole community behind you for support and strength. He'll have enough on his plate soon enough if you're going to CS.

Much much love sent your way.

sheenabobina10 · October 2013

Thank you! I didn't expect him to respond but regardless of your feelings for me, you would think a man would want to know when his first born is brought into the world. I'm sad for him and and my daughter but i'll make up for his absence. Thanks for the support.

inthelost · October 2013

He's not going to respond. You can send a short message, but don't count on it. I don't want to sound harsh but everyone told me that my BD would change his mind after she was born and would want to be in her life...that's horrible advice, because that didn't happen at all! so, don't expect that to happen at all. If he hasn't cared in 9 months, and has made zero attempt to contact you he's not going to care when she's born either

blueyedsweety28 · October 2013

I would let him know when you are going to the hospital .. and that is all .. any further contact, let it come from him first .. if he cares, he'll show it .. if not, that'll show too ..

shelbyeakle · October 2013

I'm in the same boat. I'm due next week and my baby's dad has made it clear to me that he does not want to take on the responsibility of being a dad to my baby girl. And the sad thing is he already has a daughter. I can't imagine not wanting to be there when she enters this world but that's something he's going to miss out on and it's his loss. I just keep telling myself that it's for the best. She has my family and friends who love her so much already so I know she's going to be a loved and spoiled little girl.

Sheenafontenot · October 2013

I had her Monday at 615pm. Since he didn't reply I did not notify him of her birth and with all of the commotion and joy, he wasn't missed for a second. I can't stop staring at her and it truly is his loss.