ET tomorrow - 1 or 2 embryos??

KayteeGee · October 2013

Hey ladies - Haven't been on in forever and needed a new log in because I forgot mine (sorry)
Anyway, would love any of your quick thoughts -

I have an FET tomorrow. Realistically this is our last best shot at #2 (we have one blast still frozen from the IVF that gave us DS but RE and I consider it a hail mary). I don't anticipate any frosties (12R, 8F, 6 perfet at day 3, 6 day transfer tom'w)

I am torn about transferring 1 or 2.

Ideally we'd want only 1 more. But really, this is it. So do I take the risk of twins (with DS, tx 2, both stuck, lost 1 at 10w)

Pros for 2: better chance of success at all, I have a big family so 3 kids "makes sense" to me; I can't comprehend life as an only because I'm v. close to my brothers; I know you don't regret the kids you have, just the chances you missed to have more; DS is amazing - 2 more of him - AOK!!; We have the space and we could hire help

Cons for 2: I work full time & I love my job and I do not want to SAH (no offense to anyone, it's a me thing) I legitimately don't know anyone at my level who has three babies and makes it work; holy crap the cost of kids - college, cars, vacations (and i know these aren't needs but they are things we want to do); DS is a wonderful kid - are we playing with fire considering we already have a great kid?; I'm almost paranoid about complications/SN (i have no good reason, i am usually not an anxious person, but this is my hot button).

Any thoughts? Be honest, flame me if you want (for anything, it's cool).

WWYD???

angela2004 · October 2013

If you do get two eggs to transfer would you be willing to freeze one? Could your body handle carring twins? I am short I would have a hard time carrying twins to term.

phishgirl29 · October 2013

The same happened to me with my DS and learning we lost one at my 10 week appointment. When I go back for my FET next year we will be transferring 2. I keep imagining that what if we only transferred one and that was the one we lost? Morbid and analytical but I'm grateful we did 2. I hope you fine peace with you decision.

iguana33 · October 2013

Good luck with your decision, it's a tough one! And so personal. You clearly understand the list of pros and cons, so I think you need to block all the logical stuff out and close your eyes and imagine being in the ultrasound room and seeing two heartbeats. Is your initial heart reaction happiness? Or anxiety? Sounds a little cheesy, but I think you have to listen to your heart.

iguana33 · October 2013

Just realized your transfer already happened. What was the verdict??? Good luck with the 2ww!

KayteeGee · October 2013

It's actually tomorrow...Thursday at 11:30 pacific time. Thanks everyone for the opinions. Good stuff here. According to our RE we will know tomorrow what we are really looking at. If they're "grade 1" he says we if we tx 1 we have a 70% shot, if we tx 2 we have an 80% of 1 & a 40% chance of twins. If they are "grade 2" and we tx2 we have a 40% chance of 1 and a 20% chance of twins (based on his rates). So I guess I'll know more tomorrow. If we have a grade 1 we will just tx 1... If we don't we take the risk of twins! Thanks everyone!!

kbeach82 · October 2013

Good luck! Our RE gave us the same advice for our last fresh transfer. We ended up with 4 very good quality embryos on day 5, but no "perfect" blasts, so we transferred 2. Our twins are 5 months old now. Obviously, I wouldn't go back and change things for all of the $$ in the world. But I also get that it is easy to say after I was able to carry my healthy babies to term, ya know? I won't lie, twins are hard, especially juggling the, with my 2.5 year old, but...I couldn't imagine my life any other way. FX for a wonderful outcome for you

KayteeGee · October 2013

I totally remember you from my first go 'round! DS is just a bit older than your first. And I'm not going to lie: your history is eerily close to mine as well! This is so tough. If we were younger and had the desire to do another fresh it wouldn't be so bad but we just don't have any desire ( at all) to do that. I wish I could see the future! (Don't we all?)

Mrs.AmyDylan · October 2013

Good luck! I think I could only handle one in hindsight (we tx 2 and got 1). If both had stuck, I wouldn't know any better, though!

I had a wonderful, beautiful, med-free water birth with DD. My birthing center is not licensed to deliver twins. I would be sad not to have the birthing center as my location for my next birth. With that in mind, I would probably tx 1 unless the quality was low.

Good luck tomorrow!

ccam · October 2013

When we were going for #1, we were more open to twins. We decided if we only made it to day 3, we would transfer 2, but if we made it to blast, we'd transfer 1. Now that we're going for #2, I really can't imagine having twins with DS. We're definitely only transferring 1 this time around.

It's such a personal decision but hopefully the information you get today will help. Best of luck to you!! And give us an update!

KISSIES · October 2013

You need to do what your heart tells you. Would you regret not doin 2 if u did 1 and it didnt take? You you be terrifed if they saw 2 heartbeats. With twins there can be more complications which makes it tough w lil one at home. We have twins my water broke at 28 weeks they were born at 29 weeks. Otherwise preg was fine. We transferred one today. But i knew in my heart i couldnt risk twins again no matter what grade. Good luck sticky dust to you!

KayteeGee · October 2013

Hi ladies - I'm back and I transferred one. Turns out we had three "perfect" and two "very, very good" so we transferred one perfect hatching little embryo. Doc expects one or two to make it to freeze and said transferring two would be a 40-50% chance of twins - just too much for me. Now, I hear you all, we tx 2 last time and we lost one at 10w... So.... It's risky, but, *in theory* we will have another shot (1st round frostie and maybe others!)... And if it doesn't work, we have a wonderful family as is. Now to relax and let it be what it will be....

CarrieB. · October 2013

Thanks for the update. Hope your little embie is snuggling in right now!

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