Well meaning family and friends...that I would like to punch

uagirl · October 2013

How do you handle the well meaning family and friends with their lovely advice? If one more of them tells me it will happen in God's time, I just need to pray about it, or everything happens for a reason, I might punch one of them. FWIW, our family is Christian, but telling me to pray the infertility away just doesn't work for me.

pettycrocker · October 2013

I literally just told my Grandmother I am on BC now.

That's code for "STFU old lady"

gmc222 · October 2013

The worst part for me is my mom telling me repeatedly to 'just relax and it will happen'.

And why is it always the people who can have kids so easily that are the first to give unwanted advice?? :-@

cerad5 · October 2013

I read somewhere....maybe here? That the best response for "just relax" is to say something like, "if relaxing got people pregnant how come my insurance doesn't cover a spa day for DH and I around ovulation?". I usually just smile and nod when people offer advice. Unless they have been through IF or 2IF, they have NO idea!

uagirl · October 2013

We are the only couple among our friends or family to have any trouble TTC. Almost all of them have told us how they got pregnant without trying.

I think I'm just going to start telling people we decided against another kid and are going to get a dog instead.

+SouthernMomma+ · October 2013

My mom is a Pentecostal preacher, She use to constantly send me bible scriptures and force feed "the holy spirit" down my throat... Pity for her, I lived up to that "preachers daughter" saying and have always been the rebellious child

I have no problem telling her where to stick her bible when she gets like that. We decided that this second time of TTC#2, we weren't telling a freaking sole!!! After the MC we just left everyone on the terms that we weren't going to anymore. I've learned from my mistake! We probably wont even tell anyone that I am pregnant (wishful thinking) until I am crowning, haha. The only person I use to confide in, is my aunt. She has had many losses and fertility problems and knows how those types of remarks can hurt people. I've always respected her opinion... But even she doesn't know we are back at it! Since October is national pregnancy loss and infant loss awareness month, I've been using this month as a cover up on my facebook to bring as much awareness to loss and fertility issues as possible without outing myself... Hopefully people are reading my links and carrying the information along with them!!

KC1212 · October 2013

Well, I'm a bi+@ch, so I usually ask the extremely rude unsolicited advice giver when they got their MD? Or I ask for them for sound research to back up their claim. Like where is the scholarly academic peer-reviewed article that holds solid evidence that getting drunk will help infertile couples conceive?

THERE IS NONE.

My highest esteem to all you ladies on here who keep their cool during such rudeness. I know it is a result of ignorance on the DISEASE of IF but, it still never fails to make me MAD when people give stupid a$$ advice.

+SouthernMomma+ · October 2013

KC1212 said:

Well, I'm a bi+@ch, so I usually ask the extremely rude unsolicited advice giver when they got their MD? Or I ask for them for sound research to back up their claim. Like where is the scholarly academic peer-reviewed article that holds solid evidence that getting drunk will help infertile couples conceive?

THERE IS NONE.

My highest esteem to all you ladies on here who keep their cool during such rudeness. I know it is a result of ignorance on the DISEASE of IF but, it still never fails to make me MAD when people give stupid a$$ advice.

I think I have a woman crush on you, LOL... But seriously! Amen!

ally510 · October 2013

@gmc222 My mom says the same thing, "Relax, have a glass of wine and put on some lingerie." Ugh! I know she means well, but damn it's annoying! Most of my friends and family don't ask or give advice. They all know I miscarried last year (it was at 15 weeks, so people knew I was KU'd) so they know I'm trying and struggling.

roughkat · October 2013

I try to hard to remember that most people don't experience infertility, and that they don't understand that it's more than just impatience or annoyance that it's taking a few months longer. I try to remember that they are usually just trying to help. I try, but...

holy crap it's hard.

I haven't lost it on anyone yet, but I did tell one of my friends that she wasn't allowed to talk to me about it anymore. She got pregnant on her first month trying, is one and done by choice, and has said things to me like, "at least you have your son, maybe you should be happy with that", or "just make love with your husband and it will happen". Make love? Honey, when it's timed sex for almost 2 years, I can guarantee you making love is not what you call it anymore. And at this point we're not even ttc via sex anymore!

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Well meaning family and friends...that I would like to punch

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