Any WMs with 3 LOs ... ?

Re: Any WMs with 3 LOs ... ?

• jf198400 member

  October 2013

  I have 2 kids, and I honestly don't think it would be much harder to have a 3rd. The baby stage is the hardest part, if you're going to have twins, I think the first year might be crazy, but it's crazy with a single baby anyways. I think once you get past that, it's actually easier having more than 1 kid because they entertain each other. (My kids are 18months apart and are best friends.)
  It sounds like you and your DH are doing well financially, so you'll be able to hire help and life will be manageable. Get a nanny, cleaners, landscaping service, etc.
  I think you should go for it, you have to think long term about what you want your family to look like.

  
  
  
  
  

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• mommymegan831 member

  October 2013

  I have 2 so I can't say for sure, but If money wasn't an issue I'd probably go for another.  I feel life is well balanced now, but I'm home at 3 and DH is around by 4.  If money wasn't an issue and twins were a possibility, I'd get a nanny.  You don't have to worry about the kids being sick or getting them up, ready and out.  There are some quality of life issues that have me content with 2.  I try to do as much as possible with the kids.  We go out to eat sometimes, and with a 1 and 3 year old that can require some extra attention, so it's nice to have the 1 on 1 ratio.  We're going on a cruise this year and we've done a few hotel stays here and there, most rooms, especially n a cruise, won't accommodate a family of 5.  We like to do amusement parks and other children activities.  As they get older and we're paying for them, it's really adding up.  As a teacher I have alot of time off so would I do things on my own with the kids alot.  Once DD became mobile that became impossible in alot of places so many times I need to take along another adult, I suppose by the time your twins would be a year your DS would be 4 1/2 so he hopefully should know well enough to stay with you.  Bed times with 3 would also be more time consuming, but the twins could probably be put to bed together and as long as you get a good, quick routine going it may go ok.

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• KayteeGee member

  October 2013

  Thank you both so much.
  The 1:1 time is a fear for me. I don't like the idea of being outnumbered either (LOL).
  We love to travel, and Megan, you bring up a great point - it will GET expensive, fast...
  But JF - I agree on the "playmate" thing.  One of my friends had a baby the same day I had DS and another (oops) 13 mo. later - they're AMAZING together. 
  I do feel like we waited a long time to try for #2 so we kind of missed that for DS (and it makes me sad) - but we had to (DH has been traveling every other weekend, and I have my limits. LOL).
  
  

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• DallasHorn member

  October 2013

  I have 3 and work FT. I have several co-workers with 3 or 4 kids. We do work for a demanding employer, and likely more than 40 hours...BUT we have flexibility - WFH, etc. Can it be done if you don't WFH?  Sure, but something always give - even working from home, something gives. DH and I don't outsource everything - we cook, clean, mow the lawn, etc. But honestly, with a FT nanny and preschool...we spend a ton on childcare. Perhaps when we no longer need a FT nanny, I could see us having the luxury of outsourcing some stuff.

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• JJ_13 member

  October 2013

  I only have one, but we went through IVF. We don't think we want to be one-n-done, although (unlike you, it seems), money is part of the decision for us. Anyway, I know what we're planning to do when we're ready for #2 is to only transfer one embryo at a time. We'll do a transfer with 1 and if that doesn't work, we'll try again, until we are out of frozen embryos. For us, we absolutely do not want three. We'd rather have one than three, and I think I'd shoot myself if I had twins. Not really, but you get my drift.  I think it really comes down to thinking about two factors: how you would respond to having twins (i.e. would you rather have three than one) and whether you could do more than 1 transfer. For us, I'd rather pay more money and do multiple transfers than risk having twins.

  I realize that you probably won't see this before your transfer this morning - so good luck with your decision and I hope it all goes smoothly! I know how stressful it is.

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• WBMom member

  October 2013

  I have 3 and work FT.  I do WFH one day a week but that does not solve all of the time logistics.   We outsource some things:  a cleaning lady 2 times a month do do a deep clean of the bathrooms and kitchen, we have a teenager mow our lawn weekly and the slow cooker is my best friend.  I found the baby stage to be the most challenging - but that is the same with 1 or 3 kids.  I hope all goes smoothly with your ET today!

   

  

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• cedenton member

  October 2013

  I think the fact that both you and your DH make a lot of $ will make it easier. You can probably afford in-home help like a nanny who cooks and a house cleaner. Obviously, I'm making an assumption, but that would just my thoughts.I imagine it would still be hard, but not having to worry about those "little" things would allow you to focus on the family and not have to feel like you can't keep up.
  

  
  

  

  
  

  my blog

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• litzo27 member

  October 2013

  Well I certainly hope it's doable as I have 2 and am PG with a third I know plenty of dual-working households who have 3. My cousin has 5 and works at a hedge fund but she is the extreme (her mother also lives with them to help with everything).
  
  A colleague was in a very similar situation. They had 1 IVF baby and decided to go for number 2. They transferred 2, only 1 took but the egg split. So she is pregnant with identical boys. I think her situation is rather unusual though (?).
  
  For me the bigger issue would be not about having three kids but about having twins - which just makes for a higher risk pregnancy. But given that my pregnancies were super-uneventful in your situation I would go for it.
  

  
   

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• MammaBear81 member

  October 2013

  It's possible, I have 6, DH and I both work, and I think our kids are pretty awesome!  We don't have any twins, so I can't speak on that part, but we just stay organized and on top of things and it's going well so far!
  

  
  
    
  

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• sweetsunnyc member

  October 2013

  I have 3 and work full time. That being said, my girls are really spaced out in age- 14, 5 and 10 months. My husband works from home, so that is a major benefit. Plus, my employer is family friendly and has adjusted my hours so I can be available for the kids.

  That being said, life is hectic sometimes, The house is a mess by the end of the week and we spend a lot of the weekend catching up. I do a nanny share part time for the younger girls and we pay my teen to help out an hour here and there when needed.

  I would also like to add that my kids are awesome- they are polite, well adjusted and do great in school.

  I love my family and I wouldn't have it any other way. I say go for it and everything will work itself out.

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• KayteeGee member

  October 2013

  I love you all so much for responding! I went ahead and transferred 1 today. Ultimately, the doc said that we had 3 perfect and 2 "very, very good" and that if we transferred 2 the chances of getting pregnant at all went up only 10% but the chances for twins went into the 50-50 range. Combine that with the fact that he thinks we will have at least one or two to freeze - just made sense to take our 70% shot with one. Regardless, it is so cool to hear from so many women who are "doing it all" THANK YOU

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• WBMom member

  October 2013

  @KayteeGee - sending sticky vibes during your 2WW. 

  

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• ks3pink member

  October 2013

  We have a 7 year old daughter and twin 14 month old sons. I work full time as a teacher and DH works full time as a paramedic, part time in the IT dept at the local community college and is in school full time. I am also currently looking either a new full time job outside of teaching or a part time job at the community college because we don't make a lot of money and with twins money is the key. It's hard but it's doable. We are very fortunate to have family who keeps our boys at our house and does a lot of helping out when she's here. I would never have clean clothes or dishes if it weren't for her! Make weekends a priority for family time and you'll be just fine!

  

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