Feeling like a failure

olga1311 · October 2013

LO is screaming bloody murder and there is nothing I can do that calms her down. DH is way better at calming her down then me. Skin to skin, rocking etc just don't work when I do it, but with Dh she calms Down easier. The only thing I am able to do well for her is breastfeeding it seems. No real point to this post just having a mini pity party for myself. I feel like such a failure as a mommy

LittleNugget93 · October 2013

You aren't a failure! When DD was only a couple weeks old, I could hardly get her to calm down. I realized it was because I was so worried about it. Once I let myself be calm, she calmed a lot easier in my arms. Sometimes she will be in her grandpa's arms and be very content, but the second he gives her to me she freaks. I always say it's because she is hungry and she can smell my milk so it's her way of telling me to nurse her.

Babies are finicky; but you are her world!

Carnation77 · October 2013

The first couple weeks DS loved daddy and only wanted mommy for milk. At almost 7 weeks now, it has totally flipped. Babies are hard to figure out. Just stay calm, love your LO, and eventually you'll figure out what works. Don't be too hard on yourself.

thedash · October 2013

DD is the same way sometimes! I do think that when I hold her she just thinks about nursing even if she's not that hungry. Then she gets fussy, especially when she's really tired. DH can put her to sleep in no time!

Don't feel bad about it! It's actually nice bonding for DH and the baby. And there will be plenty of times in her life when she will only want mama!

kelseyjohnston · October 2013

This sounds like me! DS has been fussy all week, and literally nursing is the ONLY way I can calm him down...and I hate nursing every hour! (which sounds selfish, I do whatever my baby needs, but my nips hurt! lol) My husband will just hold him and talk to him and he hardly fusses with him. It's so unfair.

This behavior makes me scared to go out alone with DS because I fear a meltdown that I can't calm him down from.

CBiggs85 · October 2013

Sometimes I think it is hard for babies to completely relax with their moms because they can smell the breast milk and it gets them all riled up. DD will not lay on my chest calmly but she fell asleep on my sister like that the other day! My mom says the scent of breast milk is most likely why.

TheLittleRedM · October 2013

I can't get my baby to sleep to save my life unless it's after a MOTN feeding. I have to hand him off to his daddy or he doesn't sleep and that just makes everything else worse. It was awful when it was just me and baby while DH had to pull a 24hr shift. But recently Noah has been throwing absolute hysterical tantrums randomly when DH is holding him while I go do things in another room. And only for DH. If someone else is dealing with him while I'm out of sight, he doesn't cry. I feel so bad for my hubby because I know him tensing up and getting frustrated is making things worse but I don't know how to help him figure out how to calm down.

rckstr4lfe · October 2013

@TheLittleRedM, I know what you mean! My son is only two and a half weeks old, but I have finally learned the only way to get him to go to sleep is to lay on my bed with him on my chest for a few minutes. I'm not saying it will work for you, but it's definitely worth a try. And my husband is also having trouble with DS screaming with no way of calming him down when mommy isn't around... let me know if you find a solution for that one, because I'm feeling the same way you are.

TheLittleRedM · October 2013

The problem is, it happens randomly for DH. LO loves to interact with him but I think it's when he starts getting overtired that he screams bloody murder at DH.

And that's how DH gets him to sleep with no problem! I have tried several times and nope, doesn't work. I find now that if I just don't move him and keep holding him after he falls asleep after eating, he will nap. At least something is working now Lol

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