Multiple languages in the family

SvedkaStoli · October 2013

Ladies, for those of you who speak another language fluently or have another language as your first language. Are you planning on teaching your child that language? I bought a bunch of books and plan to read to my boy. DH at times is afraid that we will have a secret language

twobluelines · October 2013

My nephew on my hudbands side is fluent in Russian, Romanian, Hebrew and English. He knows who speaks which language and often translates between people. He is now 5 but has been doing this since he was at least 3. It is amazing. We are hoping to do the same with Romanian French and English

SvedkaStoli · October 2013

My nephew on my hudbands side is fluent in Russian, Romanian, Hebrew and English. He knows who speaks which language and often translates between people. He is now 5 but has been doing this since he was at least 3. It is amazing. We are hoping to do the same with Romanian French and English

@twobluelines did they use any special technique to teach those languages? Like one parent one language kind of deal?

twobluelines · October 2013

Yes Mother only speaks Russian. Father only Hebrew. Grandma only Romanian. He learned who to speak to in each language.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

My mom will care for LO when he's born and she prefers Russian to English. It's inevitable that LO will speak Russian (with sprinkles of Ukrainian, which I barely understand) and we will welcome it. DH's family only speaks English but I've got him on board that our children will be bilingual.

It will be interesting to see how LO adjusts but my three nephews were raised the same and they are all doing great. You'd be amazed at how quickly kids learn languages. When he was three, we put my nephew into a daycare that had a teacher who apparently spoke spanish to the kids (we didnt know at the time), within a few weeks, my nephew was talking back to us in Spanish and we were totally bewildered. Kids are amazing!

I always joke to DH that once LO starts speaking Russian, he's going to have to learn it as well! Maybe you can take that stance! 8-}

karah4816 · October 2013

I really wish our children were going to be bilingual. My stepfather is French and the plan was always that he would only speak French to all the grand kids but he doesn't do it much with my nephew so now at 2 all he knows is how to count in French and a few random words

Unknown · October 2013

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SvedkaStoli · October 2013

Kvochka said:

My mom will care for LO when he's born and she prefers Russian to English. It's inevitable that LO will speak Russian (with sprinkles of Ukrainian, which I barely understand) and we will welcome it. DH's family only speaks English but I've got him on board that our children will be bilingual. It will be interesting to see how LO adjusts but my three nephews were raised the same and they are all doing great. You'd be amazed at how quickly kids learn languages. When he was three, we put my nephew into a daycare that had a teacher who apparently spoke spanish to the kids (we didnt know at the time), within a few weeks, my nephew was talking back to us in Spanish and we were totally bewildered. Kids are amazing! I always joke to DH that once LO starts speaking Russian, he's going to have to learn it as well! Maybe you can take that stance! 8-}

@Kvochka this is my DH's excuse

He always had trouble learning any foreign language. He says that once the kid starts talking, he will have to.

Galaxy8227 · October 2013

My husband and his family speak Italian--DS has learned some, doesn't speak it but he can understand it. My MIL tries to teach it to them--I hope both kids do learn it and maybe they will teach it to me

Tomerine · October 2013

My husband speaks German (his mother is from there) and he plans to teach our kids. He's already reading German baby books to the belly. I do worry a little about being left out, but I can learn, too, if it becomes an issue. I just told him no hot German nannies!

vstevens · October 2013

The other LO in our nanny share just turned 2 and is speaking English, German and Spanish (her dad is German, mom's family from Puerto Rico). The one thing I will warn you of is that she was slightly delayed in her speech because there were three languages being thrown at her...but she's over the hump now, and she already knows to talk to me in English, her Dad in German etc...it's awesome.

At one point I spoke fluent Japanese, but after 10 years of lack of use have lost most of it (though I can still understand when people talk to me, I can't respond). If only I had kept it up, it would have been so cool for my kids

litzo27 · October 2013

Love this thread!
We are a Russian-speaking household. Before we had kids DH and I were speaking a mix of Russian and English but once DS1 was born we committed to only speaking Russian in front of them. And were able to carry that through. They also had Russian-speaking nannies until they started daycare shortly before turning 2. They picked up English in daycare and DS1 is now fully bilingual (DS2 has only been in daycare 4 months so his English is not as fluent yet). The "hardest" part was getting used to speaking Russian to the kids at public places - but if we're at the playground I just explain to other moms that we're doing that for consistency and noone ever thought it was rude.
Good friends of mine are doing OPOL (one-person one-language) where the mom (and her family) speak Russian and the dad (and his family via Skype) speak Bulgarian. And she is getting English at daycare. Of course the language that gets the most use will be most fluent but she understands all three very well.

I HIGHLY recommend this book. It dispels a lot of the myths about bilingual children (that they get confused, are slow talkers, etc.). It also has a lot of great example of different set-ups which can work: OPOL, one language in house, immersion schools... Also lots of tricks and resources. And, you guys know I'm a nerd so I love that the authors cite a lot of studies done in the language labs

If you don't want to read the book the main lesson is that you just need commitment and consistency. It won't just happen on its own. I see that with my nieces - they started speaking to their parents in English and the parents started to respond in English because without even noticing it and now they are teens and their Russian very poor.

SvedkaStoli · October 2013

litzo27

Thank you! I will check this book out.

gracete · October 2013

I do plan on teaching my kids Spanish, My DH and I plan to only speak Spanish at home and let them learn English at school and on TV (that's how we both learned and are able to speak both languages fluently).

MaryBB77 · October 2013

I speak Irish & French & my husband is from Slovakia. Baby def needs to learn Slovak so he can talk to grandad & granny. His sister & kids live here now too. They'll all speak Slovak to baby.
I too worry about being left out

hopefully I can pick up more too.

I'll teach baby both Irish & French Just some basics. Looking forward to the challenge and seeing how they pick it up.

rowanthefrog · October 2013

I'm so mad that we don't. DH's dad is Italian and speaks Italian, French, Spanish and German (and English of course.) Did he teach his children anything besides English?? NO!! Half of DH's family live in Switzerland or Italy and we see them once a year or so and they all speak at least 3 languages, usually 4.

I have several friends who are Ukranian, Russian, French or Spanish (or their DH's are) and generally they speak those languages at home and then their children get enough English language exposure outside of the home.

I will say, most of the children seemed to start speaking later than a lot of other kids that I knew, but when they did they immediately were speaking in both languages and could understand both languages and they quickly caught up with their peers. I say that just so you know that it's normal and nothing to worry about.

What a gift to give your child...multiple languages. I'm still mad that DH only speaks English. We both know conversational Spanish and French, but we are not fluent by any stretch of the imagination.

A

Shannahbee · October 2013

I speak French fluently (being from Montreal), and my husband went to a French immersion elementary school but can only really understand when spoken to (can't speak back in French). In Ottawa, it is a huge bonus to be bilingual because most Federal Gov't jobs require some level of bilingualism... I really want to send our kids to a full French school (where they learn all subjects in French, except for an English period) rather than put them in a French immersion program at an English school. That way they speak English at home, and French at school! My husband wasn't sure about it at first, because he won't really be able to help with homework, etc. but he is starting to come around... It helps that the school is literally at the end of our street!

My Mom is also fluent in French (her dad can barely speak English), and if she becomes the daycare provider (which I'm hoping she will), I'm going to ask if she could speak to him in French during the day as well.

nancyvi · October 2013

Both DH and I are southamerican so we pretty much only speak Spanish at home. Our plan is for Spanish to be LO's first language and then introduce English when he's a bit older, but before preschool so he won't be totally lost when he gets there.

KristaBelieve · October 2013

Jealous over here.......wish we spoke another language....

Dishylo · October 2013

I only speak English fluently but speak a fair amount of French, German and Spanish (enough to get by and converse in). However, DH is fluent in English and French and we hope to raise LO bilingual. Friends of ours did it with their three girls - Dad spoke to them in French and Mom spoke to them in English. In the end she ended up learning French too so now the entire household is bilingual.

It opens up so many doors for people as they get older so I'd love LO to be bilingual (especially French as we live in Canada).

litzo27 · October 2013

nancyvi said:

Both DH and I are southamerican so we pretty much only speak Spanish at home. Our plan is for Spanish to be LO's first language and then introduce English when he's a bit older, but before preschool so he won't be totally lost when he gets there.

@nancyvi
My sons started at daycare without any English around age 2 but we have had other kids who joined DS1's preschool groups at 3 and 4 without speaking any English and they have adjusted within weeks and were speaking within months. So don't stress too much about having to introduce English at home.

Caitlinm123 · October 2013

DH's native language is arabic, and his parents don't speak english so we will be teaching LO arabic (I should also learn as well) French will also be taught when he starts school.

nancyvi · October 2013

litzo27 said:

nancyvi said:

Both DH and I are southamerican so we pretty much only speak Spanish at home. Our plan is for Spanish to be LO's first language and then introduce English when he's a bit older, but before preschool so he won't be totally lost when he gets there.

@nancyvi
My sons started at daycare without any English around age 2 but we have had other kids who joined DS1's preschool groups at 3 and 4 without speaking any English and they have adjusted within weeks and were speaking within months. So don't stress too much about having to introduce English at home.

Thanks for that. I would also expect a quick adjustment, but it would maybe make that transition a bit easier if he understands basic instructions and things like that? So maybe some basic English stuff, and definitely keep Spanish as our main at-home language.

ETA: my mom is coming in Jan to help with the baby, and we've already asked her to bring mine and DHs (his childhood home is near my parents) books from when we were kids (all in Spanish of course). We were both avid readers from a young age and it's quite the collection. We told my mom we would pay for her extra bag! We want to get LO not only speaking the language, but also literate in it.

mjv111 · October 2013

I was so excited to find this post! I studied bilingualism in grad school and I plan to raise my children bilingually... I know how challenging it can be and I admire those of you who have done it or plan to do it!

I recommend the book "The Bilingual Edge" by Kendall King and Alison Mackey. I've read it myself and I plan to recommend it to members of my family who are unsure about my choice to raise my children bilingually. It's written by two female experts in the field who have also raised their children bilingually. It's not too academic, but it does include blurbs about research that supports the claims the authors are making.

It sounds like many of you have family that is bilingual, so hopefully you'll have support. For those of you who don't, don't give up! You're doing something wonderful for your child at an age when it is easiest and most natural. You'll never get the same opportunity again.

My best advice (based on what I've studied because I don't have my own personal experience to draw from yet) is:

1. You won't mess anything up. Your child's brain is designed to learn more than one language and NOTHING will be delayed as a result of being exposed to more than one language. Many people have anecdotes about a specific child being delayed in terms of language development and this is mistakenly attributed to a bilingual environment. Sadly, this is often reinforced by pediatricians who are misinformed. Research in bilingualism DOES NOT SUPPORT THIS. Children develop language at different rates for a number of different reasons. Don't let anyone, even your child's doctor, tell you it's because they are learning more than one language.

2. If you live in an English-speaking country like the United States, your child will learn perfect English no matter what you do - even if they don't hear a word of it until they begin school. The struggle you will have is teaching and, more importantly, maintaining the second language. Your child will learn whatever you speak to him/her without resistance for a few years but will quickly realize that English is the dominant language in the outside environment. Once he or she is old enough to realize this, you might find that you have to push a little harder to get your little one to continue to interact in the second language. The best thing you can do is make it fun. Have books, movies, and games that are ONLY an option in the second language. Involve yourself in a community that speaks the second language so that your child can have meaningful relationships with more than just you or a couple family members in that language. The last thing you want to do is feel like you're forcing your child to do something that they don't want to do. You're already going to get weird looks from strangers at the grocery store!

Good luck to everyone!

mkat10414 · October 2013

DH and his family speak Mandarin (his father is Chinese) and Korean (his mom's side). DH was born in Seoul and moved to the US when he was 8. I would absolutely love for our daughter to be fluent in all of them. He's tried teaching me some lol, but not much has stuck.

melissandow · October 2013

Living close to Ottawa, as a previous poster said, it is important for my child's future that he speak both French and English. I grew up in an English speaking household and went to French schools (not immersion). I do pretty well but am not perfect. My DH and his family are French and they will be speaking to our son in French.

I just asked my husband's aunt the other day how she did it (her husband only understands French now because of the family he married into but still can't speak it) and her two daughters are EXTREMELY french.

She spoke to the kids in French growing up and he spoke to them in English. They always went to French schools. I plan on doing the same in my house. DH will speak French, me in English (some French as well but want to make sure they don't learn "bad" French). His family will speak to him in French, mine in English and he will attend full French school in a French town close to where we live.

nbbride06 · October 2013

My brother speaks English only and my SIL is from Sweden. SIL speaks in Swedish to my niece always when at home. She also has a Swedish nanny. Everyone else speaks English to her. She is just beginning to speak, but understands both languages equally.

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