So now WTF do I do? (work advice needed)

*sparky* · October 2013

Yesterday I posted this:

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/77276889#Comment_77276889

So in the afternoon, the boss who supports my PT schedule, and me in general, announced she is leaving. Fairly certain the passive aggressive boss who seems to dislike my arrangement is being offered her position. Which means I will continue reporting to him, but there will be no one above him who has my back.

This morning I found out, not only is he passive aggressive to me, but he also makes comments to other people on the team that I am never here and that it drives him crazy. I work three days/week three weeks out of the month, and 4 days the 4th week. The days I am not in the office I am available via email or cell phone.

I am flipping out now, and I think this will mean I will end up having to leave this job. I am not sure if I should still talk to the old boss, hold off on announcing my PG, or something else. The company is definitely a mess and strapped for people, but at the same time I don't see this boss doing much to try to keep me around. In fact, I see him pushing me out the door.

I did just take a picture of his white board.

jf198400 · October 2013

Is there any possibility you could make an internal move to a new role with a different boss without leaving the company? If not I'd honestly start looking for a new job, I know the timing sucks big time. Any chance your old boss would get you in the door wherever she is moving to?

*sparky* · October 2013

@jf198400 - to be honest, no. I am at the Corp HQ and work in accounting. All accounting functions at this location now fall under this guy. Also, my background is very specific to what I am currently doing - I could not easily transfer to a different function.

jf198400 · October 2013

In that case, I would hold off on announcing pregnancy. Start looking elsewhere and negotiate maternity leave as part of your offer. Or suck it up with jerk boss and stick around til you have the baby, and then don't return.

financialdiva · October 2013

Maybe it's time to have a frank discussion with your new boss? Tell him you heard he has a problem with your schedule and you were wondering how you can make him feel comfortable with the arrangements? Also try to spin your arrangement in a positive light. How work life balance is important to the company (if it is) and this is how you have achieved it and its important to you and the company that you maintain this balance.

Is he straight out of public accounting? For some reason, people in accounting who work alternative schedules seem to get looked down upon. I hate it. If I am getting my work done, why do you care?

And yes, hold off on announcing your PG.

Karla CS · October 2013

I'm no expert, if you're wanting to stick it out for the maternity leave benefits, part of me would want to announce the pregnancy, just as a safety net. The possibility of them getting sued would probably keep them from letting you go.

It would make for a very unpleasant situation in the interim though.

That being said, I have never had to negotiate maternity leave with a new employer and don't know anyone who has, so I personally would lean towards being cautious.

financialdiva · October 2013

Actually, I change my mind. You should announce your pg. That way you could possibly be protected if he tries to retaliate.

jennyelf · October 2013

I negotiated leave with my new employer (offered at 5 months, started at 7 months). It worked out just fine, but new company had 8 weeks paid with no length of service requirement. I knew I wouldn't be protected under FMLA, but I'd have the 8 weeks paid. Since I didn't have any built up vacation time and I'm the primary income earner, I just took the 8 paid weeks.

That said, I might agree that having pregnancy documented with HR might be in your favor as they would have to be very careful in firing you once they knew. Firing for suspicion of pregnancy would be a lot harder to prove.

JJ_13 · October 2013

I would announce the pregnancy (for your own protection) and I would have the frank conversation with the boss as a PP recommended.

I left a job once where I was very unhappy but was otherwise a decent job and my one regret is that I never made a concerted effort to sit down with my superiors and have a reasonable, frank conversation about my frustrations and what we could mutually do to resolve them.

Beyond that though, yeah, I'd start looking. Maybe the boss who is leaving could take you with her!

mae0111 · October 2013

I agree with PPs - announce your pregnancy for protection. I would wait a week or 2 after announcing, then have a frank discussion with your boss.

I'm sorry this is happening. This is a happy time for you. I'm sorry that your boss is making is so crappy and stressful.

*sparky* · October 2013

mae0111 said:
I agree with PPs - announce your pregnancy for protection. I would wait a week or 2 after announcing, then have a frank discussion with your boss.

I'm sorry this is happening. This is a happy time for you. I'm sorry that your boss is making is so crappy and stressful.

Thank you very much

*sparky* · October 2013

@ClaryPax - I am 13 wks. 2nd PG and gained too much in first tri so hiding this much longer is not feasible. I cannot really change my schedule to 4 days every week - I would quit before doing so.

I actually ended up going over both bosses to their boss and spoke to him. I do a lot of work for him directly and he is the one who gave me the retention. He said my schedule is fine as is and they need me on the team so I shouldn't worry about it. I just wanted to make sure someone here still has my back before I deal with passive aggressive boss. I will talk to him as well but will not announce I am PG for a couple more weeks. Now that the weather has finally cooled off I can hide under big sweaters. His head is spinning with his boss leaving right now so I want to give him a few days to cool down before I add anything to his stressors.

EastCoastBride · October 2013

*sparky* said:

He said my schedule is fine as is and they need me on the team so I shouldn't worry about it. I just wanted to make sure someone here still has my back before I deal with passive aggressive boss.

You made him fully aware of the PA attitude this guy has? Moving forward, even if your job is safe, I still wouldn't want to have to deal w/ the attitude, or the list on the white board, OR the comments he makes to other people. I'm just curious if the big boss is going to do anything to deal w/ this guys attitude?

*sparky* · October 2013

EastCoastBride said:

*sparky* said:

He said my schedule is fine as is and they need me on the team so I shouldn't worry about it. I just wanted to make sure someone here still has my back before I deal with passive aggressive boss.
You made him fully aware of the PA attitude this guy has? Moving forward, even if your job is safe, I still wouldn't want to have to deal w/ the attitude, or the list on the white board, OR the comments he makes to other people. I'm just curious if the big boss is going to do anything to deal w/ this guys attitude?

Yes, I told him about everything. Not sure if the CFO will say anything to him at this point, but I wanted to make sure he is aware in case there are more incidents that I have to discuss with him. I am sure he will not let this guy make my life difficult, based on the conversation we had yesterday.

dimondwind · October 2013

I work a similar schedule, and dealt with similar animosity from previous higher-ups. The bottom line here is are you doing your job? Getting all your work done? If yes, then you are doing what you were hired for. You're making yourself available via email and phone when you're not in the office, so he can talk to you if he needs to...I'm not sure what the issue is with him. My guess is that he puts in long hours or has in the past, and feels that others should, too. I hate this mentality - long hours in the office does not make you a better worker.

I would talk to your old boss (the one who's leaving) to see what she says about this. Talk to HR too, make sure they know what's up. Even show them the pic of the white board. Start documenting his comments, and document the work you're doing, the fact that you're getting everything done, etc. You need to be able to provide proof that your part time schedule is, in fact, NOT hurting the company and their bottom line.

Hate to say it, but for your own sanity you may need to start looking for another job. Worst possible timing, I know.

So sorry you are dealing with this - I feel your pain

*sparky* · October 2013

@dimondwind - Thank you for commiserating. I know long-term I will need to look elsewhere, but really want to stick it out here for a few more months.

When I spoke to my CFO, he said everything you wrote above - I get my work done, he is always able to reach me, there are no issues with my work, and I have expertise in an area no one else here does. New guy is definitely all about long hours and face time, and he is very unorganized. So, for example, the other day he presents an issue to one of his employees at 5 pm as the employee was leaving. It was something that could have been discussed earlier in the day, but he didn't get to it until he knew the guy was leaving and he couldn't put it off anymore. Employee ended up staying two more hours because of that.

He will brag about being in the office all day Sunday, or until 9 at night, etc. all of the time, to anyone who will listen.

I will talk to HR too and tell them about my PG within the next week or so. I want to tell the rest of our family first!

dimondwind · October 2013

What industry do you work in? I work in Advertising, and long hours are like a badge of honor. Does this guy have a family or a life outside of the office?? I'm guessing no.

And the disorganized thing REALLY gets to me. Some people I work with are also unorganized and chit chat all day, then actually do work starting at 5pm and stay late to get it done...and they are the ones "burning the midnight oil", "taking one for the team," etc. So infuriating!!

EastCoastBride · October 2013

I want to ditto dimond on the documenting thing. even though your CEO has your back, still document everything as best you can. Comments, emails, anything where he questions your work simply based on the fact that you aren't IN the office.

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