Daycare said DS was "aggressive"

abbyful · October 2013

So when I picked DS up at daycare, his teacher said he was acting "aggressive" today. This is the first time they've ever said anything other than "he was perfect!", so it really caught me off guard.

When I questioned them what that meant, she said he was "crawling over other kids" and "put his mouth on the other kids, but not biting". While I was holding him and she was talking to me, he put his mouth on my arm. He does that all the time! He tries to blow raspberries, and half the time he forgets to blow and just slobbers. And we've also been trying to teach him to "kiss". (He blows kisses, and we've been trying to teach him to kiss us on the cheek.) And, yeah, he's a toddler. Toddlers, especially boys, are all about climbing!

If they don't want him to do it, sure, correct him. But to say he's "aggressive"? Um, no. And I'm not the "my kid can do no wrong" type of parent. But I really think she is over-reacting.

A little back history: This is a new teacher, she's been there 3-4 weeks. I get it if she's trying to do everything by-the-book, but she needs to use some common sense! Every other day, it's SOMETHING. We've had 4 incident write-ups with her too, where if a kid is sick or injured they have you sign a sheet, and they are like "um, he bumped his head, it's fine now but it was a little red when it happened", "he got a teeny-tiny scratch on his arm on the playground". Yeah, he's a toddler! She's new to our daycare, but the "get to know the new teacher" letter they sent home said she had 7 years experience working with infant-preschool age kids.

Sorry, just venting. My "aggressive" kid just got done crawling back and forth over my legs and slobbering on me.

ccam · October 2013

I don't know that aggressive was the correct word, but did you tell her that he's learning to kiss and that he blows raspberries? I'd think if she knew that it would be a different story.

And for the incident report, I guess I'd rather know more than less., so that wouldn't bother me. I'm sure she'd had some parents who see a tiny scratch on their kid when they get them home and are complaining to her the next day. So she's probably just trying to cover all her bases.

But I still wouldn't call what you're describing aggressive.

abbyful · October 2013

I'll talk to her more today, I was so caught off guard yesterday I couldn't even think "what could they be misinterpreting?"

Yeah, I want to know if he gets hurt, I just think it's weird to fill out so many reports when him falling didn't even leave a mark. I guess it more surprised me because in the infant room, we only got reports for bigger stuff, then in the toddler room we have had more reports in a few weeks than the previous year combined.

I'd rather her try to hard instead of not care. But I also don't want her to make mountains out of molehills. (I forgot to mention earlier, when he was putting his mouth on the other kids, she thought he was going to bite them. He has never bit anyone.)

TechieGirl1 · October 2013

I think that's kind of silly to write reports for that stuff. However, I understand how some parents can be kind of crazy too,hence the need for the reports. Perhaps one of the other Lo's parents are kind of crazy? Are there any recent add ions to the room?

sdlaura · October 2013

Honestly, I describe my daughter as aggressive to other people. I wouldn't be offended if someone else described her that way. We were spending time with my nephew, who is a month younger, and she will push him off of toys that she wants, and that sort of thing. I just try to encourage her to share and be gentle. She goes to an in-home daycare and our daycare provider and I kind of laugh about it.