Success after IF

IVF ladies...a question for you!

pantsarellapantsarella member
edited October 2013 in Success after IF
So lately I've been thinking about being an egg donor. I mentioned it to DH and his immediate response was "Hell no!". After more prying, he said that giving me shots and watching me be emotional (even though I wasn't too bad) was really hard on him and he wouldn't want to do it again. He knows we'll have to do an FET for our next child when we're ready for that but that won't be for a while and he says that it's different when it's for us rather than going through "the hard parts of IVF" and walking out with nothing (obviously there's a financial piece, but I think for him the "nothing" part is the emotional attachment to a child, etc). 

The financial piece is definitely a factor, but I guess maybe I've read enough stories on here about struggling for a baby and having success using donor eggs. So, my question to you is- would you consider being an egg donor? Would you go through the injections, ER, etc all over again knowing there's no baby for you at the end of it?
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Me:27, DH:28 - DX: MFI, varicocele repair Nov 2011 
Post-Op SA: Count- 15 million, Motility- 75%, Morphology- 3% 
IVF with ICSI - Stimming 10/4/12 - 10/13/12, Lupron Trigger
ER 10/18/1212 eggs retrieved, 8 mature, 5 fertilized
5 day transfer 10/23/12, 3 frosties
Beta #1 11/5/12: 453, Beta #2 11/7/12: 1,013, DD born 7/19/13

Re: IVF ladies...a question for you!

  • I would LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE to be an egg donor. I had really good results with my IVF cycle and had a really easy recovery from my ER. I totally agree with you that I've read enough stories that I wish I could help someone else.

    That being said, I know the requirements for egg donation are VERY stringent and I think if my memory serves me correctly, my age (34) has already knocked me out of contention, so I've never thought more seriously about it.

    However,  I'd like to think about donating my embryos when I'm done with them to another IF couple.... I will admit, I am not there yet mentally, but I think it would be AMAZING to give someone that gift.... So few people will every have the opportunity to do it, and I think it would feel so good to do something so selfless. I have 5 embryo's on ice, if all goes according to plan I won't use them all and I really hope in time DH and I can both make the decision to put them up for adoption.


    "I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I"m still looking up."
    TTC #1 since August 2011 MFI Diagnosis - April 2012
    IVF #1 - July 2012 - Stims start 7/2, ER 7/12, 20 retrieved, 16 mature, 13 fertilized!
    ET - 7/17 - 1 blast transferred. Beta - 7/26 273, Beta 2 7/30 - 1143. Beta 3 8/6 - 11,597
    12/25 - Santa tells us "IT'S A GIRL!" EDD - April 4th

    Our Little Easter Bunny has arrived!

    Molly Mildred born 03/31/13


    TTC A Sibling....... FET #1 11/14/14, Transferred one beautiful blast

    Remaining four frosties arrested due to "embryologist error"

    Plllllleasssee stick little icicle.....Beta 11/23...BFN

    Starting ALL over with a fresh IVF cycle

    Stims start 11/28/14, ER December 10th, 13 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, only 4 fertilized 

    1 Blast Transferred on December 15th..... Beta Christmas Eve... Please Santa, bring me a baby!

    Beta #1 345.....Beta #2....750/ First U/S 1/13/15/HB 131....EDD 9/2/2015

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  • It's not an option for me because of my history, but I would consider it if it was a possibility. However, I think that unless DH was on board 100%, I would not do it. There are too many emotional factors involved and I would think it could become a serious point of contention in the future.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    TTC# 1 since 5/10
    Me:34 Type 1 Diabetes, Ankylosing Spondylitis, Hypothyroid DH:35 Perfect
    DX: Unexplained IF
    Many IUI's with various meds all BFFN
    IVF #1 11/11 canceled due to OHSS
    IVF #2 Feb/March 2012 ET of 2 on day 3 4/7 BFP! 5/1 u/s blighted ovum
    IVF #3 July 2012 ET of 3 on day 3 7/24 BFP!
    Healthy baby girl born at 36w4d on 3/9/13

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    TTC #2
    IVF #4 May/June 2014 ER 6/4 18R 8M 8F ET 6/9 1 blast, 2 frosties
    Beta 6/18 BFFN

    FET of 2 blasts 7/24...BFP!
    Healthy baby girl born at 36w3d on 3/17/15

    TTC#3
    IVF #5 June 2018- PGS planned, no surviving embryos
    IVF #6 August 2018- ET of 2 on day 3 - Chemical pregnancy
    IVF #7 August 2019-....?
  • Unfortunately I am too old (36) to be considered for egg donation. I don't know that I would go through a complete cycle just to donate because I had awful s/e from the meds, however in theory I would be glad to donate some of my eggs from a fresh cycle to a waiting couple since I had more than enough to go around.
    TTC since 3-08 IVF # 1 Dec 2011 BFP DD born at 31 weeks 6-24-12

    FET #1 Dec 2013 BFN

    FET # 2 Feb 2014 BFN

    No more frosties

    IVF #2. September 2014

    PGD yielded 2 perfect 5d blasts

    SET November 9, 2014
    Nov 23, 2014. Another BFN

    Not sure where to go from here.

    image

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • I'm pretty sure my dx of DOR puts me out of the running for a donor egg cycle, but I would absolutely go through the process if I were to be compensated (donors through my clinic are paid about $6K). I would love to be able to put that money into my kids' college funds.

    Neither DH or I are comfortable with embryo donation, but he would be supportive of my decision to donate eggs if I chose to; however, I have always done all of my own injections (with the exception of the trigger shot). DH could potentially be fairly limited in his involvement if he chose to.

    DX: DOR and MFI 

     

    IVF w/ICSI brought us our 1st precious miracle

    V born via induction 4.29.11

    TTC #2: IVF (MDLF) August/September 2012

    ER 9/7: 6R, 5M, 4F ET 9/12: 5dt of 2 blasts 

    +HPT 9/17! Beta #1 (9/25) = 1,000 Beta #2 (9/27) = 1,860 U/S #1 (10/11)...TWINS!

    1/8/13 - It's a..boy and a girl!!   

     

    S&B born via induction 5.8.13

     

    imageimage

     

     

     

  • just a theoretical question for me as I"m way too old to donate my eggs. Anyway, NO will be my answer.  I hate doing the injections, hate going in every few days for b/w and u/s.  Emotionally it wasn't bad, but I think I'll feel differently now after I've had a baby.  Plus, it'll be impossible for me to do all that monitoring now that I'm a SAHM. 
    TTC since 10/2008  RE consult 6/2010 Dx:Unexplaied IF

    Failed multiple cycles of Clomid+TI and Clomid+IUI

    3/2011 inj+IUI #1 BFP. 4/2011 missed m/c. 

    Fall 2011 inj+IUI #2&3 BFN

    Jan/Feb 2012 IVF#1 BFP 2/23  EDD 10/31/2012 ~~~ Halloween ~~~

    Our IVF miracle, Baby Boy M, arrived on 11/8/2012!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image
  • I would have loved to have done this but I think my eggs have expired, if I could shave a year or two off my number I would do it.
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I couldn't do it. I am glad that other people can though.
    The injections etc is just a part of it for me though. I want nothing to do with that ever again! In addition I couldn't handle my eggs... A part of me...and what could have been my child being out there living and breathing and not knowing them. I feel like I would think about it for the rest of my life.
    Daughter born July 2008; Daughter born March 2010 Son born August 2011
  • I would but I am to old :( plus no one would want my eggs with my family history. If my sister needed my help I would do it in a heart beat.
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